Mea Culpa
by PBBWriter
Summary: When Roxy's tangled family creeps into her attempt at a fresh start will she be able to salvage past relationships and new loves?
1. Chapter 1

The room smelled of alcohol, tobacco and sweat and the lights were low as Cardi B's I Like It pumped through the speakers at full volume. Bishop, Angel, Coco, Creeper and Gilly sat around their usual table, laughing and relaxed, with one special guest in attendance, Happy Lowman.

"Oh, he's so handsome, what's his name?" Roxy sang in a whisper into Happy's ear from behind.

He jumped a little, her plan to scare him working, and turned quickly. His scowl instantly flipped into a smile when he saw her grinning from ear to ear

"Rox," he said with a deep, raspy laugh. "You work here?"

"I do," she laughed.

"You're stripping?" He asked, his smile fading.

"I'm actually just a shot girl tonight," she pushed him to sit again and whispered into his ear, "I only dance on Saturdays."

He looked at her again, very clearly disapproving of her employment and turned to the Mayans. "You guys let her work here?"

"You think we got control over her?" Gilly laughed. "We just don't come in when she's up there," he gestured to the stage. "Bish hates it," Gilly said teasingly.

"Marcus know?" Happy asked Bishop.

"No," he grumbled. "And he's not gonna."

"Ain't gonna hear shit from me," Happy said. He watched as she bounced around serving drinks and flirting wildly with the mostly male clientele.

"You don't talk to her?" Coco asked him.

"Sometimes," he shrugged.

"I don't think Hap's a big talker," Angel joked.

The conversation ebbed and flowed and at one point Coco slipped away from the table when most of them were distracted. He passed Roxy and grabbed her wrist, pulling her along with him out the side fire exit.

"Hey," she smirked. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"You know he was coming?"

"No," she shook her head. "Did you?"

"I figured when they said someone was coming from SanWa," he said dismissively. "You look good," he spoke low, inching closer until he had her against the brick wall.

"I know," she said seductively.

Coco ran his tongue from her clavicle, up her neck and along her jaw until he found her lips.

"You coming by later?" She asked him as their kiss ended.

"Yeah, as soon as I finish up with your homeboy."

Roxy rolled her eyes and instead of a kiss goodbye she bit down on his lower lip and rubbed her hand along his crotch.

"I'll be waiting," she said before slipping away.

Later That Evening*

"Hey, E," Roxy said with a smile as she entered her apartment. "Everything good?"

"Great," he said. "Like always, he's a good kid."

She smiled and nodded. "Thankfully he's more Alvarez than Teller."

"You'd know more about that than I would," he shrugged. "Need anything else?"

"I'm good," Roxy said as she hugged him. "I really appreciate it."

"You got it," he gave her his usual broad smile. "Have a good night," EZ added on his way out of the apartment.

He took the stairs, bounding down them swiftly, and as he stepped out of the lobby doors he saw Coco leaning against a parking meter.

"I hope you're here for her and not me," he groaned.

"You're alright, Prospect," Coco laughed, flicking his cigarette into the gutter. "I'm here for her. Mateo sleepin'?"

EZ nodded. "You gotta stop being so weird around that kid."

"Kids don't like me," Coco shrugged.

"I think you're just scared El Padrino's grandson won't like you."

Coco scowled and gave EZ a shove. "I ain't scared."

"What happened?" EZ asked quietly. "To Esai, I mean."

Shaking his head, Coco made his way to the lobby doors. He could see Roxy watching them from the window, eavesdropping but also growing impatient.

"Story for another night," he said, swinging the door open.

"Bye, Ezekiel," Roxy said, startling him from above.

"Bye Rox," he chuckled.

She turned away from the window just as Coco entered the apartment. Immediately she could see he was tired, the way he walked, dragging his feet, and the bags under his eyes were the biggest giveaway.

"Rough night?" Roxy asked quietly as he kicked off his boots and hung his kutte and keys up.

"Kind of," he said vaguely, plopping on her couch.

"Talk to me," she offered. Climbing behind him she began to knead his tense shoulders. "Come on, Johnny," she said softly. "What's wrong?"

"Family shit," he sighed.

"Oh baby," she cooed into his ears. "I know that pain."

"Think the problem is my family ain't dead," he said, trying to be as sensitive as possible.

Roxy nodded. "Guess that does solve a lot of my shit but when they were alive there was mounds of it."

"You consider Happy family?" He asked her.

"Yeah," there was no hesitation or doubt. "When shit went down and my brother went off the rails he was there, even more than the others."

Coco knew Happy felt beholden to Roxy, she didn't need to tell him he was the most supportive Son, he had already seen it.

"How 'bout Alvarez?"

"Oh yeah," she spoke with less sadness, "He's great. He's the closest thing I have to a father."

"Sometimes I wanna just wipe away that shit, the blood ties, and focus on the club, you," he sighed. "But I can't."

"I don't suggest murdering your mother then driving into a semi," she said somberly. "Okay?"

Feeling her body tense he reached up and drilled her hands. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she huffed. "I gotta remind myself that you guys aren't him, you're not Esai, and that most likely I won't be left alone again."

"Back in the alley I thought we were gonna have a different kind of night," he said, hoping to lighten the mood.

"You're the one who started this conversation," she said, moving down onto his lap. "So, what's the deal?"

"My little sister," he said, "She's been throwing my name around and it's stirring shit up," Coco said as he tapped his chest. "Her and Celia just moved back and I don't know," he shrugged. "It's got my brain in overdrive."

"I didn't even know you had a little sister," Roxy said. "I'm sorry you're so upset, baby."

"Yeah," he pulled her into his chest.

"You wanna go take your mind off family?" She suggested with a wiggle of her hips.

"Nah," he sighed. "I just need some fucking sleep."

Roxy climbed off his lap and pulled him to follow her toward the bedroom. "Be quiet," she whispered as they went by her son's room.

"How's he doing?" Coco asked her once they closed her bedroom door.

"Mateo?" She asked, quickly pulling off her short shorts and slinky top. "He's great," Roxy beamed. "Happy kid, doing good in pre-k, healthy, can't ask for much more."

"He ask about his dad?" Coco was too deep in his head about Letty to be gentle about Roxy's son's father.

She tensed and didn't answer right away. "He's starting to notice now that he's around so many peers and he's getting older. He hasn't asked yet but he mentions other kids' dads a lot."

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay," she assured him. "Wanna take a shower with me? Wash some of that stress away?"

Smirking, he followed her toward the bathroom and pushed the heaviness in his head and heart away for another few hours.


	2. Chapter 2

Mateo announced his mother's arrival at the clubhouse by bounding through the doors at top speed. When Roxy finally caught up with him she had a deep frown on her usually cheerful face.

"Hey," she greeted Taza. She was warm but clearly frazzled. "You guys seen Coco around?"

Taza shook his head and glanced over at Bishop and Hank. "You guys seen Coco?"

"What's going on?" Bish asked strolling over to Roxy. "You good?"

"Uh, not really," she huffed. "I just walked over here from the corner store, the one like 15 blocks from here, cause my car got towed. I needed a ride and I need money to get it out of the impound lot."

"Querida," Bish groaned.

"I know I'm sorry," she huffed.

"I don't give a shit about the tow," he told her. "Why didn't you call the yard or anyone else?"

"I called the yard," she huffed. "Line was busy. It's 2018, Tio, how did I get a busy signal?"

He shrugged. "We all have cell phones."

"Yeah but my phone is in my car," she told him. "I was already pissed and I figured the walk would let Teo work off some of that energy."

"Didn't work," Hank commented. He strolled by them casually and gave the boy a high-five.

"No shit," she groaned. "Anyway, that's why I'm looking for Coco."

"Like I said," Bishop said with a shrug, "We haven't seen him."

"EZ here?" She asked.

"Just us," Taza winked. "I can give you a lift."

"And I can front the cash," Bishop added.

"Thank you," she said with a pout.

Hank smiled and shouted from across the room, "We don't do it for you."

"You do it for El Padrino," she finished their usual joke. Her Spanish wasn't great, her Rs were never rolled and each word sounded clunky and unnatural.

"Christ, Coco needs to teach you how to really speak Spanish." Bishop teased her as he pulled some cash from his pocket.

Chucky bounced into the clubhouse, almost as amped at Mateo, and waved at the group. "Hola!"

"Chucky," Bishop said in a serious tone, "You leave the phone off the hook?"

"Not me," he said quickly. He held up his hands. "I'm innocent."

"He's innocent," Bishop said jokingly. "You see Coco today?"

"He was here earlier, left in a hurry," Chucky shrugged.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Come on," Taza said. "Let's go."

They all knew how Roxy could be when people were distant or unreachable and describing it as sensitive would be putting it mildly. Her past left her terrified of abandonment and even the mere thought of it or a few unreturned calls made her anxious. They knew and they sympathized but they wanted her to deal with it away from them.

"I can take you," Chucky offered. "I have to make some stops."

"Can Mateo stay here?" She asked Bishop. "There's no car seat and he's too little to be bouncing around the truck. I'll get my car and come right back, I swear."

"Sure," Bishop said with a smile.

They didn't seem like the type but not one of the Mayans didn't enjoy children in general. Ones like Mateo Alvarez were even more special as he was blood related to both Alvarez and Bishop.

"Thank you," she beamed. "If you see Coco tell him he's a fucking dickhead."

"Chica loca," Bishop laughed.

"I know what that means." Roxy spoke over her shoulder as she quickly moved to give Mateo a kiss goodbye and instructions to listen to Bishop while she was gone.

Roxy didn't really speak during the ride and Chucky was fine with simply singing along to the radio. That was until she reached over and slapped his chest twice and insist he stop the truck.

"What?" He asked with annoyance.

She didn't explain. Roxy jumped out of the truck and jogged through three lanes of cars toward Coco as he chased after a young woman. Chucky watched, shaking his head, and slowly drove, still watching, once Roxy reached Coco

"Who was that?"

Coco turned quickly, more than surprised to see her, but before he could answer her first question he was hit with more.

"Where you been?"

"Rox," he groaned. "It's a long fucked up story."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "Well, I been calling you. Me and Teo got stuck, I had to walk with him to the yard and I find you MIA with some girl!"

"Pinche guera loca," he hissed. "You gotta get shit right in that head. I ain't Esai and I ain't Jax, I'm not going anywhere, but I got my own shit to handle."

Roxy sneered but remained silent, knowing he was right and that she'd gone off the deep end in a very mortifying and public way. She turned to go back to the truck only to see Chucky hadn't waited, she didn't ask him to, and now she was stuck needing Coco.

"Need a ride?" He asked smugly.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "My car got towed. I gotta go get it outta the impound lot."

"Come on," he grumbled.

They walked across the parking lot toward his bike in an awkward silence. He offered her his helmet but she shook her head.

"I know what you said," she uttered. "You called me a fucking crazy blonde."

Watching her as she got on behind him, Coco nodded. "You saying you're not?"

Roxy rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around him as he started the engine. They rode off, the tension between them only more obvious and uncomfortable in such close proximity.

"I'm sorry." Roxy quickly blurted it out as soon as they arrived at the impound. "You are right, I am fucking crazy."

"I know," he said casually. "That wasn't some girl," Coco explained. He wavered between telling her the truth and simply saying Letty was his sister but he too had his own insecurities. Telling her more of his history, admitting his emotions concerning the issues with his family, was daunting. He still didn't know why she was with him or how deeply she felt for him, but he was sure it wasn't as strongly as he felt for her.

"Then who was it?"

"Leticia," he said sadly. "She's my kid...sister."

Roxy's face fell, anger turned to sympathy. "I'm sorry," she groaned. "I'm an idiot. You were just talking about her last week."

"It's all good," he said. "Go get your car. I'll follow you back."

"Thank you," she said. Pressing her lips to his cheek she turned and hurried over to get her car back.

Roxy pulled out of the lot with a smile, Coco following behind as he promised, and they made their way back to the yard.

"Hey," Coco said. He grabbed her on her way into the clubhouse and pulled her back toward him. "We good?"

"Yeah." She fluttered her lashes at him. "We're good."

"Mi pinche güera bonita," he said softly. It wasn't a typical complement but it was his way of apologizing for his earlier comment.

Roxy beamed. "Y tu eres muy guapo," she said. "Was that right?"

"Muy bien," he chuckled.

"I'll have Mateo but do you want to come home with me?" She offered. "We can just hang out."

Coco sighed and gestured back to the clubhouse. "I gotta check with Bish."

She nodded, visibly disappointed, and dragged her feet into the clubhouse to pay Bishop back with her tips from the night before.

"Get outta here with that shit," Bishop said with a frown. "I don't want your money."

Roxy smirked and nodded. "I'm not gonna fight you on it." Mateo bolted by and out the door with EZ running after him. "I guess I should take my kid and give the prospect a break."

"Yeah," Bishop laughed.

Roxy waved at the few others lingering as she left and stepped outside to see EZ and Coco talking while Mateo played by their feet.

"Thanks, E," she smiled.

EZ smiled back at her and Roxy felt a pang of sadness. "I'll see ya," he said. Leaving them to meet Angel as he rolled through the gate.

"I gotta go," she told Coco. "Been a long day."

"Yeah, alright," he mumbled.

"Come on, baby," she called out to Mateo. "Time to go home."

"Coco," Bishop said loudly. "Take the night." He pointed at Roxy and shot Coco a wink.

She smiled, buckling Mateo into his car seat, when she heard his heavy footfalls coming closer.

"You wanna stay for dinner?" She asked him as she shut the door and turned to look at him.

"Yeah," he smiled. "I do." Coco opened her door for her and shut it once she was in the driver's seat.

"Alright, well, I'll meet you there."


	3. Chapter 3

An evening with both Roxy and Mateo was unusual at first but after a while he settled in, even if he had to watch The Wiggles before Mateo went to bed. The next morning Coco watched as Roxy got the boy ready for school and fed him breakfast. It was such a different view compared to what he'd experienced as a child, it brought a smile to his face and he didn't even realize it.

"Finish your yogurt, bud," Roxy said. She put his lunch in his bag and hung it on the door.

"You're a good mom," he said quietly.

Roxy looked at him with confusion on her face. "Huh? Oh, uh, thanks."

"I gotta go," Coco sighed. "Got my shift at the yard."

She smiled a little. "Sounds like a lazy day."

"Maybe," he smirked. "Sometimes I do more there than with the club."

"Coco, can you take me to school?" Mateo asked sweetly.

"No," Roxy said quickly. "You know that's not safe for little guys."

Mateo asked everyone he could for a ride but, much to his disappointment, no one ever said yes. Roxy was sure Angel might have, if he didn't think she'd kill him for it, but the rest understood four years old was too young.

"Nah, man," Coco said. "Maybe when you're a little older."

"Mom," Mateo groaned.

"No," she said firmly. "Grab your book bag and put your shoes on, we have to go too."

"Thank you," Coco said. They had a moment of privacy while the boy did as he was asked.

"For what?" She asked, genuinely unsure.

"Dinner, and breakfast," he said sheepishly.

Roxy nodded and smiled. "Thank you for your company."

"Yeah and that too," he chuckled. Coco kissed her, it was different, softer and sweeter, before heading to door. "Alright hombrecito," he said, mussing the child's hair, "I'll see you around."

She laughed, noticing Coco spoke to Mateo as if he were just another guy, a member of the club, and waved as he left the apartment.

"Come on," she laughed. "Let's get you to school."

Coco kicked up dirt as he and his clipboard came out from the row of metal heaps, sweat rolling down his forehead. He noticed more bikes, EZ and Gilly had arrived while he was working.

"Chucky," Coco called out. He handed the man the clipboard. "I'm heading inside. Take care of this shit."

"Certainly," Chucky said cheerfully.

"Oh and uh," he huffed. "You tell anyone about that shit with Rox?"

His face turned down. "Sorry Coco."

"Anything else you see, just keep that shit to yourself."

"I accept that." Chucky said as Coco sauntered into the clubhouse.

"What's the damage?" Angel asked, snarky as ever, as he inspected Coco's face with a goofy grin on his lips. The other's chuckles only served to egg him on. "Oh she didn't kick your ass?"

Coco pulled a face and clicked his tongue but didn't make a return comment. Normally, he would have made a crude remark, something about her taking it out on him in bed, but he remained quiet.

"We were afraid you wouldn't come back," Gilly joked.

"So was she," Coco said. Pouring himself a cup of coffee he then turned and leaned against the bar. "Chica's got shit," he tapped his temple.

"You wouldn't?" Bishop remarked. "Part of why Alvarez sent her down here, she had no one."

"She's got people," Riz added. "Happy mainly."

"No one he trusted enough," Bishop said. "No one he trusted with her like Jax, when he was gone, that was it. Alvarez knew Happy was only helping out of guilt, he didn't like that."

"Now you're the babysitter, Bish," Angel laughed.

"Not a babysitter," Bishop corrected him. "After Esai, Marcus wasn't letting Mateo go without eyes on him and Rox."

"What happened?" EZ interrupted. "With Esai, Roxy and SAMCRO?"

The group was silent for a moment.

"Esai fucked up," Angel said somberly. "Took a knife to the back of the goddamn head for it."

EZ looked shocked by that. "From who?"

"SAMCRO," Bishop said. "One of the guys we had here last week. Roxy doesn't know her brother and Alvarez agreed on that shit, set Esai up to die. She thinks Esai walked out on her when she got knocked up."

"He let his own son get murdered?" EZ asked in disbelief.

"And if she finds out she'll light up Cali from here to San Joaquin," Coco said ominously.

"Shit," he hissed. EZ wasn't sure what else to say about Esai. "Then Jax died and she came down here."

"No one fucking stab me in the fucking skull." Coco joked to break the tension, knocking hard on the back of his head.

It made sense now, her dependency on the Mayans, mainly Bishop as he was Alvarez's blood. To Roxy, Esai walked out and with Jax killing Gemma then himself she felt he had left her and took her mother with him. Everyone she loved most left her, EZ felt his heart sink a little, weighed down by the sadness.

"Alright," Bishop knocked on the bar, "We got shit to do."

Later in the day, after running a few errands, Roxy stopped by the clubhouse but no one was really there. She wondered how desperate it would look if she rolled by the dress shop but her assumption of 'very' didn't stop her. Instead of finding Coco or any of the Mayans she found Miguel Galindo and Nestor. Rather than interrupt she tried to casually return to her car but she heard her name.

"Is that little Roxy?" Nestor called out.

"I'm surprised you remember me," she said. Without turning she waited for them to either approach or say something else.

"Not many blondes hanging around here," he replied.

Roxy turned on her heel and shrugged. "You guys gonna buy me beer again?"

"I think you're old enough for that yourself," Miguel finally spoke. "Good to see you, Roxanna. I was sorry to hear about Esai."

Pursuing her lips she nodded and gave him a little shrug. "His loss."

"I'll be in the car," he said to Nestor.

"What are you doing here?" Nestor asked Roxy.

"Me?" Roxy laughed. "This is a dressmaker. I think the appropriate question is what are you doing here?"

Nestor smirked. "When did you get down here?"

"About two years ago," she said. "No more weekend runaways down to the border, I'm a permanent resident." Roxy glanced over at the car Miguel was sitting in. "You're working for him?"

"I am," he said proudly. "He tried to recruit Esai but we all wanted to follow in our father's footsteps I guess."

Tensing at the repeated mention of Esai, Roxy shrugged and pulled her keys from her pocket. "Guess not, I gotta go though. It was good running into you."

Placing a hand on Roxy's shoulder he smiled at her. "It was."

"Rox?" Coco called our as he came out of the dress shop. "What are you doing here?"

She turned and waved, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment as if she'd been caught in some compromising position.

"Hey," she said nervously.

"What are you doing here?" He asked again watching her shove her keys back in her pocket.

"Looking for you," she told him.

"Were you talking to that asshole?"

She looked at him with confusion. "Who?"

"The mercenary in cornrows," he said mockingly.

"Oh, no," she scoffed. "He just asked what I was doing here." That was history with so little meaning that the suspicion and veiled jealousy wouldn't be worth it.

Coco draped his arm around her and watched as Nestor and Miguel pulled away. "Lemme take you home."

"I have my car," she reminded him.

Digging in her pocket he grabbed her keys and flung them at EZ. "Boy Scout, drop Roxy's car at her place."

"What about my bike?" He asked, dodging the keys as they flew directly at his face.

"Figure it out," Coco chuckled.

There was something about having her on his bike, holding him tight, that excited Coco. Riding with her like that made him feel that she was his, even if he wouldn't tell her exactly how he felt and what he wanted.

Sitting at a red light, Coco turned and kissed Roxy, surprising her with his tenderness.

"What's gotten into you?" She asked, squeezing him tighter around the waist.

"You," he admitted timidly.

The light turned green sending him swiftly back around the right way and they sped off toward her apartment together. They had a few hours before Mateo was done school and they spent the majority of them in bed.

"This is good, right?" Coco asked. He rolled off her and reaches for his cigarettes on the nightstand.

"Yeah," she laughed. "Of course."

"It's been, like, a year," he reminded her. Coco lit two cigarettes and gave her one knowing she'd want it.

"Yes, it has," Roxy said. "You are being so weird."

"I feel weird," he admitted. "My sister, Letty, ain't my sister."

Roxy's whole demeanor changed in an instant, she blew out a big puff of smoke. "Who is she?"

"My kid," he sighed. "She didn't even know, Celia told her and she flipped."

"That's what I saw in the parking lot," Roxy groaned. "I am so sorry, Johnny."

"Me too," he grumbled. "She found out the truth but I'm seeing it's better and maybe it's time we stop ignoring our truth."

"What do you mean?"

"Why don't we make this El Padrino official?"

She drew her head back. "You wanna tell Alvarez?"

"Yeah," he said casually. "What's he gonna do? You ain't his kid, Rox."

"He's gonna eye you," she said slowly.

"Eye me?" He asked with confusion.

She nodded. "He's gonna watch you. He's gonna watch you when you're on club business or when he sees you with Mateo and, you know, he's a whole other thing."

"Why?"

"It's not just me," Roxy sighed. They both leaned up in bed and sat cross-legged, facing each other. "I don't need you to play daddy, you have your issues with that shit, but you have to acknowledge he's alive. You're strategically timed visits to miss him make this feel wrong or like we gotta hide."

"I gotchu," he said.

"So you really want to do this? Officially, on the books and shit, we're a couple?"

"Yeah." Coco grabbed her ankles and, uncrossing her legs, pulled her to sit on his lap, her legs wrapping around his hips. "Besides, Alvarez is only here a few days a couple times a year. It'll be fine."

"Okay." Roxy beamed and kissed him, her fingers twirling his long hair as he laid her on her back again. "Don't make me regret this."

He laughed loudly. "I probably will."


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn't long after Roxy and Coco's decision that things started progressing and feeling more official. It was Friday night and most club members were scattered around the clubhouse, beers in hand, relaxing and hanging out. Roxy joined them, taking advantage of her weekend off, and let herself really unwind.

"Here, hold it like this," Coco spoke into her ear. He positioned her fingers on the dart and guided her arm forward. She threw it, with his help, but got nowhere near the bullseye. "Hate to see you with a gun," he mumbled.

"Whatever, darts just isn't my thing," she shrugged.

"Pool ain't either," Coco reminded her.

"Uh, no, Creep is just a shitty teacher," she complained.

"What about when EZ tried to teach you blackjack?" Coco asked her with a wiggle of his eyebrows. "He's good at almost everything."

"He's too good," she huffed. "You know, he's too smart to explain it to a normal girl with a normal brain."

"Creative excuse," Coco laughed.

Grabbing her wrist, he pulled Roxy against him and they started dancing in their little corner of the clubhouse. At first it was playful, they joked and laughed, but soon their dancing became sexual and their laughter was silenced by their kissing. Nothing was too overt, they were in the shadows and a good distance from the others, but Roxy managed to get a grip and pull herself away.

"You want another beer?"

"I want something," he growled as she walked away.

Roxy glanced back at him and winked just as Bishop made his way over to the corner. "I'm out," he told Coco. "I was talking to Alvarez, he said he wants the bike show to be a family thing so you should ask Roxy."

"Me?" Coco seemed uncomfortable with it.

"Yeah," Bishop said with some heavy attitude. "He wants to see Mateo, he's bringing his wife and daughter. Like I said, family."

"Sure," Coco nodded. "I'll tell her."

"He doesn't want her to know he's checking up on her," Bishop said quietly, "And you."

"You told him?" Coco asked, surprised Bishop wouldn't want to see that conversation in real time.

"No," Bishop laughed. "You're fucking adults, Coco."

"Then why's he checking up on me?"

Bishop dropped the jokes and became a little bit more sincere for a minute. "It's not that serious. As long as you treat her right he won't give a shit what goes on between you two."

"But she said," Coco said with confusion.

"She says a lot of stuff to keep assholes at a distance," Bishop told him. "You picked a pretty mixed up chick, carnal."

"I didn't pick her," he shrugged. "Just trying to live my truth and she's it."

Bishop smiled at that and pointed off toward Angel and Gilly just as Roxy strolled by on her way back to them. "Don't let those two do anything stupid."

"I'll try," he chuckled.

"What?" Roxy asked, looking at them both as they shared a laugh.

"Nothing," Bishop said with a smile. "Don't let her do anything stupid either," he added.

"Hey!" She feigned offense.

Bishop winked at her and sauntered away and out of the clubhouse for the night. Roxy and Coco made their way toward the others after deciding they had been antisocial enough.

"We're going to a bike show next weekend," Coco said casually. "Alvarez and some other local crews are going. We're making a thing of it, some old ladies, some kids. You should come with Mateo."

Roxy was clearly surprised by the offer. "Really?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Take off work and come with us."

"I uhh," she chuckled anxiously. "I mean sure, I guess."

"It'll be fun," he assured her.

"No, I know," she laughed. "I'm just," she shrugged, "You know."

"Yeah I know," he said. Coco leaned back in his chair, his hand resting on her thigh, and gave her a little smile. "It's not a bad drive, about four hours."

"Four hours? Where is it?"

"Arizona," Coco said. "You ever been?"

"Years ago," she laughed. "It was uhh, not a good weekend."

"We'll make this one a better memory," he squeezed her leg, "I promise."

The Next Weekend*

"Come on, Teo," Roxy called out. "It's time to go."

"Mom," he complained.

"Oh my god, kiddo, come on," she groaned.

EZ scooped the kid up and carried him over to the car for Roxy. Mateo was laughing the whole way, being a fan of EZ over all the other guys, and happily got in his car seat.

"Thanks," she huffed. "Little punk."

"Uhh hey." Letty appeared behind them looking anxious. "Is my dad here?"

EZ looked at Roxy then Letty and shook his head. "Not yet."

Roxy looked at Letty and forced a smile. "I'm Roxy, uh your dad's girlfriend."

"Ew, weird," Letty complained. "I'm Letty."

"Yeah, very weird." Roxy gestured to the car. "This is my son Mateo."

"Shit, do I have a baby brother?"

"No," Roxy laughed loudly. "No, no, no. Mateo's father ran out on us when I was pregnant."

"Does sound like my dad," Letty huffed.

"Huh?" Roxy knee the situation was Letty was more complicated than what she thought happened with Esai.

EZ groaned. "Jesus."

"Oh. Sorry," Letty shrugged. "My dad has other kids, two sons I think."

"E, tell me I'm not being too psycho right now? I know I'm usually psycho but I have a right, don't I?"

"You two got psycho in common," EZ said. "Thank God," he muttered. Seeing Coco pull into the lot EZ was able to make his escape.

"Hey," they both said in unison

Once he parked and got over to Roxy and Letty Coco could already tell he was in trouble. "Hey."

"Hey Dad," Roxy huffed.

"Uh hey." He was sure why she was upset but she was.

"I didn't know," Letty said to him sadly.

"About what?"

"That you walked out on two women," Roxy snapped.

Coco looked at Letty who grimaced. "My bad."

"Look, Rox, it's a real fucked up story. I'm sorry. Can we not do this shit?" Coco pleaded.

Looking at Coco Roxy could see how upset he was. She'd never seen him like that, in all the years she'd known him, and it softened her anger.

"We'll talk," she said coolly.

"I'm sorry," he said. Taking her hands he pulled her a few feet away and kissed her. "I was young and stupid," he tried to explain.

"Don't do that," she warned him. "Esai and I were young too."

"It ain't like that," he huffed.

Roxy was on the verge of tears. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I was scared you'd hate me cause of Mateo," he admitted.

Coco inhaled sharply. "I got two boys too. I send them money, I told their moms I didn't want kids, they were cool."

"This is like a thing for me," Roxy reminded him.

He nodded. "I know. If you met my mom, you'd get it." Coco pounded his fist against his chest and shook his head. "Nothing good comes outta this. If I split they don't gotta worry about me infecting them."

"Jesus, Johnny," Roxy huffed. "You're not some disease. Good does come from this." She pressed her palm to his chest.

Grabbing her hand he brought it to his lips. "Thank you." Before he could kiss her hand she pulled her hand away and slapped him, it wasn't full strength but it was enough to prove she was serious.

"Don't lie to me again."

"Hand to God," he said. Coco blessed himself, kissed his thumb, pointer and middle fingers then pointed to the sky.

"Go talk to your daughter," Roxy said to him. She kissed the spot she had slapped and walked back to her car.

Coco watched her go before following and giving Letty a hug. "Sorry."

"I think she gave you enough shit for both of us," Letty smirked. "Sorry I fucked shit up."

"Nah that's on me," he sighed. "You good?"

"I got in a fight with Celia," she huffed. "Bolted. Thought I could cool off here." Letty looked around. "Looks like nobody's staying though."

"Bike show," he explained. "I'd bring you but it's out of state, if Celia wanted to she could have my ass locked up for kidnapping."

Letty rolled her eyes. "That crazy bitch would."

"Exactly." Coco nodded. "You can stay here though." Reaching in his pocket he handed her a wad of cash. "Here, if you need anything."

"Really?" She took the money and looked at him with uncertainty. "You sure?"

"I'm sure." Coco hugged her tight. "Stay outta fucking trouble."

"Will do," she laughed a little. "Bye Dad."

When the caravan arrived in Arizona most of the men kept on down the highway while the wives, girlfriends and kids stopped at the hotel. Roxy was surprised to see Coco pulling in with her.

"This is weird. All these bikers pulling into a damn hotel for a weekend away."

"Last rally we all passed out wherever we were," Coco laughed. "Padrino wanted it different this year."

"I'm assuming most of you guys will continue the pass out anywhere tradition?"

Coco laughed. "Yeah, I'll be back here though."

"Good." Roxy watched as Coco grabbed her duffel bag from the truck. "I'll check in."

"I'll grab the kid," Coco offered.

"You don't have to," she said quickly.

"I want to," Coco assured her. "Go check in."

Roxy checked in and made it up to her room but before she could relax after the long drive Mateo's grandmother was knocking on the door.

"Diana," Roxy said warmly. "How are you?"

When Mateo peeked around the door Diana squealed with delight. "Oh I'm wonderful now!"

Diana grabbed Mateo and hugged him close, the child laughing uproariously. It was as if Roxy and Coco weren't even in the room.

"You two?" She asked with a sly grin.

"Yeah," Coco said happily.

"I was wondering when you'd settle with someone. I'm just glad he's one of mine." Diana smiled warmly at Coco.

"It was an easy decision to be honest," Roxy said nonchalantly.

"Good. Not go," she said eagerly. Diana pushed Roxy and Coco toward the door. "I only came to this damn thing to see my conejito."

"Oh, no, really I think I'm going to rest before I head out with the guys," Roxy said timidly. She was always reserved around Marcus and Diana, trying to be as sweet and innocent as she could.

"Go," she said forcefully. "I'm sure you don't get many hours of free babysitting. Enjoy it."

Hours later Roxy and Coco were gathered around a massive fire with the Northern and Southern Cali Mayans, SAMCRO and SAMTAZ. Seeing an open opportunity and feeling more relaxed thanks to all the alcohol, Coco left Roxy and made his way to where Bishop, Alvarez, Packer and Chibs were huddled.

"Can I get a second?" He asked Alvarez, Bishop grinning behind his beer bottle.

Alvarez looked at Coco disapprovingly but nodded and strolled away from the group with him. "What is it?"

"Just thought I'd let you know me and Rox are together now." Coco was confident but respectful. "Wanted you to hear it from me before you saw something or heard a joke."

"Carnal," Marcus smiled. "I appreciate you coming to me, man to man."

They shook hands, Chibs, Packer and Bishop watching for any sour turn or a fight to liven up the evening but they were disappointed.

"What's that?" Chibs asked Bishop when it was clear no one would be brawling right then.

"Coco and Rox," Bishop said.

"Shite, he's in for it," Chibs laughed.

Bishop shrugged. "It's been a long time coming, I think he can manage her."

Once Coco felt he'd done his duty he and Roxy really started to indulge. Everyone was enjoying themselves, smiles on all their faces, beers in hand and more than a few joints being passed around.

"Thank you for asking me to come," Roxy said to Coco.

"You didn't come yet," he growled into her ear. Gripping her waist tight he pulled her against him and kissed her, any minor inhibitions either had were dashed.

"Rox!"

The gruff voice cut through the noise and called her attention. Roxy turned to see Happy, Tig and Ratboy.

"Hey," she giggled. "You guys are late!"

"We has some business," Tig said cryptically.

The men greeted each other as usual but Happy waited, saving Coco for last. Roxy watched carefully as Happy pointed at him then her.

"This guy?"

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Yep."

"Alvarez know?"

"Jesus, Hap," Tig cackled. "You blew it, they're adults. Take your blue balls somewhere else."

"Alvarez knows," Coco said. He was growing cocky now.

"You're such a goddamn contrarian," Roxy spat. "You're not in love with me, you're not my son's father, and let's be real, you two are the exact same kind of man. You just want to start shit."

Coco laughed. "Damn, mami."

"She's not wrong," Tig laughed. "Cuome on, there's gotta be some pretty boy wannabe around you can fuck up." He grabbed Happy and roughly pulled him away from Coco.

"Sorry," Ratboy grumbled. "After Bobby then Jax and shit Hap's pretty angry a lot."

"Don't blame him, I was too," Roxy admitted. "Leaving Charming for Santo Padre helped with that but none of those guys are leaving. Ever."

"Never," Ratboy agreed. "I'll see ya, Rox."

"Bye," she said quietly.

"I didn't kick the shit outta him for you," Coco told her. "Now I think you owe me."

"Mm-hmm. Let's head back, huh?"

Coco glanced back at the party for a second before nodding at her. "Yeah, alright."

They wobbled back to his bike and, stupidly, both got on despite being drunk. Coco was safe, for the most part, but a missed stop sign brought red and blue lights.

"Coco," Roxy groaned. "You're an idiot."

"My bad," he shrugged. "It's fine. I'm good."

"License and registration, let me see your ID as well, ma'am," the officer said. "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"I missed the stop sign," he said clearly. "Sorry Officer, my girl had too much to drink. I'm just trying to get her home safely before she pukes on me."

The cop cracked a smile and took their licenses and Coco's registration. "Let me run these, I think I can let you off with a warning."

The cop went back to his cruiser and Roxy giggled into Coco's back. "You're good. How can you be so chill?"

"I'm always chill," he said smugly.

The cop returned with his gun drawn. "Ma'am, I need you to step off the bike."

"What?" Roxy whimpered and held Coco tighter.

"Now."

"What's the problem?" Coco said, giving her a hand as she finally did what she was told.

"Are you Roxanna Teller?" The cop asked, ignoring Coco's question.

"Uh, yeah," Roxy stammered. "What's going on?"

"You have a warrant out from five years ago, felony robbery and assault. You're under arrest."


	5. Chapter 5

Roxy sat in holding, alone, replaying the long past evening that landed her in her current predicament.

She was drunk, and high, as usual. Roxy and Esai had gone out with a few of their friends joyriding and engaging in general mischief. That, mostly harmless, mischief escalated quickly when Esai felt disrespected by another man for a reason Roxy could not remember. It was so insignificant but it set him off. She could see the altercation so clearly in her mind but at the time it felt as if it all happened so fast. Back then Roxy felt like she even didn't know what she was even agreeing to before it was too late. Suddenly, shockingly, Roxy realized that the man was savagely beaten bloody and Esai was robbing him of anything of value. It didn't take them long to be picked up by the locals. They were too young and too stupid to get away with such a crime, especially with no plan.

A few hours after the police had arrested and processed Roxy, Chibs, Bishop and Alvarez arrived in the holding area. She hung her head, trying to wipe her tears without anyone noticing, before looking at them.

"I know," she groaned. She didn't even need them to say how furious they were.

"What is this shit?" Bishop asked, feeling less sympathy for her than the other two men.

"I forgot," she said with annoyance.

"Forgot two felonies?" Chibs asked with a huff.

She nodded. "It was right before Esai left, I just found out I was pregnant, and, I just, I ignored it until I really did just forget. Isn't there like, a limit or some shit, on warrants?"

"No," Alvarez said darkly. "You're looking at years in federal prison, Roxy."

There was no way she could keep her already faltering stone expression any longer. Roxy was never the tough Teller she tried to be, she was not hard like Jax or Gemma when it came to the big things, the nastier things, in their lives.

"I was stupid," she cried. "I was young. I didn't even know what was going on."

"You shoulda told 'em that five years ago," Chibs snapped.

"We have no connections here," Bishop reminded her. "I can't call Pena or pay anyone off."

"Who helped you last time?" Alvarez asked her, already knowing the answer.

"Esai called Miguel, I think," she huffed. "I don't know if his dad did something or how but we got bail."

"Bail on two felonies?" Bishop said. He looked at Alvarez and they both nodded. "Had to be Senior."

"Diana has Mateo," she whimpered. "He's going to freak out."

"He'll be fine," Marcus said sagely.

"I...I'm not getting bail, am I?" She asked, her chin trembling as she saw their faces fall even further. "I can't stay here."

"Love, you don't have a choice," Chibs said sadly.

"Can't you call Miguel?" She looked at Alvarez. "Can you see if he'll pull some strings? Please?"

"This isn't the border," Bishop said, "He's got money but I don't know who he knows out here."

"Faces change over five years. Whoever he had on his payroll then could be gone but I'll reach out," Alvarez told her.

Roxy nodded. "Thank you. Where's Coco?"

"He went back to the party," Bishop told her. "He's probably finished drowning his sorrows by now. Passed out with dicks drawn on his face or something."

Pressing her thumbs into her temples she sighed. "Okay."

"We'll do what we can," Alvarez said, "But you need to understand how bad this is."

"Yeah," Rox whimpered. "I think I'm starting to."

Coco did originally go back to the party. He gathered Chibs, Bishop and Alvarez but before long his concern for Roxy made it impossible to deal with the drunken obnoxious behavior. He was on edge and liable to snap on any one of them at any time.

"You good, carnal?" Angel asked, noticing Coco heading to his bike again.

"Yeah," he huffed. "Just tired."

"Bish'll do something," Angel told him. "Between him and Padrino she'll be out by sunrise."

Coco nodded and the two hugged before he left to make use of the hotel room he and Roxy were supposed to be in together. Finally, with the help of some more alcohol, Coco passed out. When he awoke though, the sun already high in the sky, Roxy wasn't out as Angel claimed she would be. Coco didn't expect her to be, he knew she wouldn't, but there was still that stinging disappointment waking up alone.

When he went out to the parking lot for a cigarette, cup of coffee in hand, he found Diana and Alvarez talking, the latter doing the same as Coco.

"Hey," he interrupted. "Sorry, I just uh, wanted to see if there was anything new?"

"I'm waiting to hear back from Galindo," Alvarez told Coco. "Got a lawyer looking at the charges now. She's doin' alright, you know Rox," Alvarez said. Marcus hoped that would comfort him but the problem was that Coco did know Roxy and he knew she was a mess.

"Yeah," he said coolly. "Mateo okay?"

"He's fine," Diana assured Coco. "He's so young, they're easily distracted."

Coco nodded. "Yeah. Alright. Thanks." He hugged Alvarez and slipped back to his spot a few feet away.

Unhappy with the vague answers he got, Coco called Bishop. Turned out he was actually just a few floors above him with a girl. Much to Coco's dismay though, Bishop had little more to share with him but what he did know he told.

"She wasn't thrilled," Bishop said. "Neither are we. She's not stupid. She shoulda seen this shit coming."

"It's on me," Coco groaned. "I shoulda stopped."

"Doesn't matter now," Bishop said dismissively. Blaming Coco or Roxy or anyone else didn't do anything but waste their time and their attention. "We gotta clean this shit up or she's doing serious time."

"What kind of serious?" Coco asked apprehensively.

Bishop hesitated for a moment. The truth would be hard for anyone to stomach, even hardened and experienced men like Coco. "Between the felonies and contempt for running on bail she could be looking at up to twenty years, Coco."

Leaning back against the wall Coco slammed the back of his head against the plaster. "This is bad."

"It is." Bishop had been wondering about something since the severity of Roxy's charges came to light. He was reluctant to mention it, knowing it was a highly offensive question in their lives, but it had to be asked. "Coco."

"What?"

"Can we trust Roxy in there?"

Coco looked at Bishop with less anger than was expected. "Are you serious? She's not a fucking rat."

"Twenty years when you got a kid, especially one with no father, is a real long time," Bishop reminded him. "It's a lifetime. Proms, graduations, that shit fucks a mother up."

"We're gonna get her out," Coco said staunchly.

"And if we don't?"

"She ain't a rat," Coco sneered.

Storming out of the room, Coco left Arizona immediately. He found himself on the road to Santo Padre without really thinking about it. If Galindo helped before, a history she hadn't shared with him even when he asked, Coco would make it worth his while to help Roxy again.

It wasn't easy finding a way to contact Miguel Galindo, even with their business relationship. Coco checked a few spots he knew Galindo frequented but neither he nor his men were around. Turns out, when you haunt the dress shop asking for him, word gets out and it moves swiftly.

A black sedan rolled up and Miguel Galindo stepped out. He strolled over to Coco and smiled politely.

"Coco," Miguel said with distaste. "What can I do for you?"

"I need you to help Rox," he said quickly.

"And what trouble is she in now?"

"Same shit different fucking year," Coco spat.

"I don't follow," Miguel huffed.

"I thought Alvarez called you."

"Marcus called Devante, I didn't know the details," Miguel explained.

"Your old man got her and Esai outta some shit back in the day," Coco sighed. "That shit is coming back around. She never went to court, she was pregnant and that shit with Esai just hit."

"Arizona," he said knowingly.

"Yeah, well, she just got picked up on those details."

Miguel knocked on the car door and Nestor stepped out. "You said you wanted privacy but this was also Nestor's fix."

"You fixed it?" Coco drew his head back.

"At the time I helped," he shrugged.

"You were there?"

Nestor nodded. "I took the gun and some pills we had and bolted, dumped em' a few blocks away."

"What were you doing hanging with a bunch of kids?" Coco asked accusingly.

"I was doing a favor for our dads," he said, "Who were doin' a favor for Alvarez."

"Yah, real bang up job," Coco spat.

Nestor chuckled, scratching at his cheek a little as he smirked at Coco. "You wish they had a gun on them when they got arrested back then? You never woulda met her if they did."

Coco ignored that fact. "Alvarez reached out, anything moving?"

"He did and it is," Miguel nodded. "We're working on it."

"How's it lookin'?"

"Too early to tell," Miguel said casually. "I'm sure we can make something happen but I don't like to get too ahead of myself."

"She doesn't know about Esai, does she?" Nestor asked quickly.

Coco seemed surprised by the question. "No. Thinks he split cause of the baby. Look, if you get her out of this I'll owe you, big," Coco said earnestly.

Now, he didn't mean it in the way one would normally owe a cartel leader a favor. Coco meant it in the more casual sense since they were already working on the same team.

"I don't think there's much more you can do for me," Miguel said smugly. "But, because of the history I have with Alvarez, and the Mayans, I'll," he paused and clicked his tongue, "Make Roxy a high priority."

"Thank you."

Coco felt the icky urge to jump out of his own skin. He hated asking for favors, feeling helpless and less than anyone, but he knew he couldn't get Roxy out alone.

"We'll be in touch," Miguel said. He offered Coco his hand and the two shook before they both sped off to their opposite corners, so to speak.


	6. Chapter 6

Coco parked in the prison visitor lot, most of his weight still resting on his bike, with Angel parked a few feet away watching closely. He was anxious, holding the wad of cash tight in his hands and running his thumb along the edge of the bills then flipping through every single one once he reached the corner. Assuming the woman who approached him, wearing a stuffy pantsuit, was the lawyer they were there to meet, Coco looked directly at her and nodded.

"Coco," she said with a smile. "I'm Elizabeth Connor, Roxanna's lawyer."

"Hey," he said quietly. They shook hands and Coco handed her the cash.

"500?" She asked.

Nodding, Coco pulled his cigarettes from his pocket. "I really appreciate this."

"It's fine," she said quickly. "My cousin, the guard that'll be taking you in, said she's been getting harassed, she's got a black eye and some cuts, so don't freak out when you see her. He also said that she fought back this last time, so he's going to keep an eye on her to make sure she proved the point and didn't just piss them off."

Attempting to hide his emotional reaction, Coco brought his cigarette to his lips and just nodded.

"You'll have about twenty minutes with her in the conference room," The lawyer explained, "Sorry. Next time it should be less expensive, first time brings trust issues. You understand I'm sure."

"Yah," he assured her. "I get it."

"Enjoy the visit," she said politely.

"Yo," he said quickly. "What's going on with the case?"

The lawyer shrugged a little. "We're hoping our mutual friend will grease the wheels of justice but other than that, all we have to play on is her age at the time of the crime and how she's changed since. We can't bring up her loss, her family weren't exactly upstanding citizens so it paints her in a negative light."

Coco's stomach turned. "What's taking Galindo so long?"

"It's not easy," she frowned. "The DA here is a real prick and Miguel doesn't have the history here that he does further west."

"A'right," Coco huffed. "Thanks."

Flicking his cigarette butt to the ground, Coco gave Angel a little wave to let him know it was a go before he swaggered up to the visitor entrance. He felt naked without his kutte but they'd never let him pass through with colors on his back.

Coco went through the usual checks and, as planned, went moved to the lawyer's cousin for a faked pat down. On the way to the group visitor's room, the guard checked for the confirmation text from his cousin. When he received word that she had the money they slipped through a side door and Coco was led to the private rooms saved for lawyers and official visits.

"Twenty minutes," the guard told him. "You can touch her but no fucking."

"Can she use my phone?"

"Yeah, that's fine," he shrugged. "I'll knock when you got a few minutes left."

"Thanks," Coco said earnestly.

"Yep."

The guard opened the door for Coco and pushed him in before slamming it closed again and locking it.

"Oh my god," Roxy cried as soon as she saw him. Jumping up from her chair she grabbed him roughly and buried her face in his chest. "Johnny," she whimpered.

Coco just held her, unsure what to even say, until she managed to compose herself enough. Roxy pulled away and wiped her face, she wasn't always comfortable with such intense shows of emotion, despite her feelings always being larger than life.

"Precioso," he sighed. Coco stroked her cheek and looked over the damage inflicted upon her. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she scoffed. "This is me, man. This shit is all me."

Coco gestured to the table and they both sat, hands stretched across the steel, their fingers immediately interlocking.

"How's my baby?" She asked sadly. "It's been three weeks. I feel like I can't breathe, Coco. Teo is my life." That pain was real but she also felt the same about him. Without her son and Coco she was floundering.

"I know," he said sadly. "He's okay, he misses you but he loves hanging out with the guys. He helped EZ wash the bikes the other day," Coco chuckled. "It was fucking funny."

Roxy smiled at that. "Shit, my brother and dad would be thrilled to see him learning that stuff."

"Oh he's learning," Coco smiled. "He'll make a good prospect by the time he's ten."

"I'm not even touching that right now," she huffed. "He's not too out of whack?"

Coco shook his head. "He talks about you, a lot, but I think staying at the apartment helps," he told her.

"You don't even know how much I appreciate that," she squeezed his hands, "Seriously."

"It's cool," he said casually. "Between Diana, Chucky and Letty it's not bad. He's a cool kid."

Roxy smiled, dabbing the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes and stream down her cheek. "Letty's helping?"

"Little bit," he shrugged. "Can't even pay her to stay with Celia during the day so she's been hanging around more."

"I don't even know you," she said. "You're amazing."

"I know how your life falls apart when you're inside," he said ruefully. "Happens fast and you got so much shit you're balancing, Rox. I'm not gonna let you lose everything for charges you're not even gonna go to trial for."

"Don't say that," she warned him, "Please don't. I'm trying to wrap my head around 20 years. I need to accept this shit so if it happens it's not some fucking free fall from sky-high hopes."

Coco nodded slowly, understanding her thought process and knowing he had to respect it. The truth was though that he couldn't even think of her stuck in prison for twenty years let alone talk about it. It wasn't even something he could think of as a legitimate possibility. He didn't realize how deeply he felt for Roxy until the idea of her being gone was right there between them.

"You hear from anyone up north?" He asked, completely dropping their previous topic.

With a heavy sigh, she nodded. "Yep. Happy wrote and asked me to call him so I did. He said if Mateo needs anything to let him know but I told him Marcus and Diana got him covered financially. He put some money in my commissary account though, so that's cool."

"Good," Coco chuckled, "This visit kind of tapped me out."

"How much?" She asked with an adorable yet sad little grimace that made him smile.

Coco shook his head. "Doesn't matter, it's worth it."

"Fucking figures," she said, looking away from him, "We finally get our shit together and I'm tossed in here. I swear it's a Teller thing, we fuck up everything."

"I waited too long," he said calmly. "This shit don't change anything."

"Yes it does," she said knowingly. "What, you gonna pay for twenty-minute visits every few weeks? That won't be enough for either of us. I'll probably have a girlfriend before I'm out, Coco. We can be a thruple when I finally get parole."

"This isn't funny," he said clearly annoyed.

Roxy drew her head back a little, surprised by the force of his words. "I know but you know what they say if you don't laugh you'll cry. Last time I cried I got my ass kicked. I gotta try to lock that shit down."

"I ain't gonna let you do twenty years in here," he snapped. "Don't accept that shit, cause it ain't happening."

"Coco," she sighed.

"What?" He said harshly.

"This DA is an asshole. Please don't provoke him by sticking your nose in anything."

"He dangle an offer?"

"Of course," she scoffed. "You guys, SOA," she huffed. "I'm desperate in here but I'm not that desperate," she admitted. "I couldn't live with myself knowing I did that to any of you and, let's be real, I wouldn't have to live with it really. I know what happens to rats. I'd hurt you and get myself killed, which would hurt Mateo and, again, you. It's a no-win."

It wasn't until that moment that Coco realized he had been holding onto some intense anxiety over the chance of her ratting. It started so small and grew so slowly he barely noticed the weight of it until it was lifted all at once.

"At least I didn't have to ask," he admitted shamefully.

"I wouldn't," she said quickly. Automatically Roxy thought of Tara, and Gemma, and felt her stomach go sour. "Even the whiff of a rat makes people do fucked up shit."

"Self-preservation," Coco said slowly. "I got a surprise for you."

Her lips turned into a slight smile as she looked at him with suspicious eyes. "A surprise?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. Pulling some pictures from his pocket he slid them across the table. "Just a couple new ones."

"Coco," she nearly shrieked. Roxy didn't even look at him at first. After she examined each photo, the one of Mateo and Coco touching her deeply, and felt the sudden urge to hug him. She stood and leaned over the table for a quick hug. "You don't know how much this means. Seriously."

Picking her up and tugging her across the table, Coco pulled Roxy onto his lap and kissed her. Her feet dangled on either side of him, her arms around his neck, while they made out, grinding against each other, like two horny teenagers.

"Fuck me," she whispered breathlessly. "Please."

Coco glanced toward the door and, although he remembered what the guard said, he didn't care. Lifting her up back onto the table he quickly dropped his pants as she wiggled out of her hideous prison blues. There was no need to remind him they were under a time limit, Coco inched Roxy to the edge of the table and let out a guttural groan as he slipped into her.

His eyes rolled back in his head as he moved swiftly, his thighs hitting the table with each thrust and moving the table across the room with tiny squeaks and scrapes. Roxy let out pleasure-filled moans, trying to stifle them by biting down on Coco's neck until they both reached orgasm.

"That was too quick," she whimpered. Her body trembled against his as they enjoyed the moment while they could.

Agreeing with her, Coco kissed the top of her head before stepping back and pulling his pants back up and buckling his belt. "Much as I want you home, mi pequeño presidiario is kind of hot."

"What?" She laughed, pulling her pants up. "What is that?"

"My little jailbird," he said quietly, sounding sadder in English.

She frowned a little, "I kind of like it but only once I'm out."

"Mmm hmm," he smiled a little.

"I used to hate this feeling," she said.

"What feeling?"

"You," she smirked, "Running down my leg but now, I kind of love it."

"You're nasty," he joked. "One more thing."

"What now?"

He pulled his phone from his pants and FaceTimed Letty who was sitting with Mateo on the counter in the front office of the yard. As soon as she answered, Coco handed Roxy the phone and watched as her face lit up.

"Mateo!" She said joyfully. "Oh, baby! I miss you! How are you?"

Coco watched as she and Mateo attempted to have a conversation but the hyperactive four year old made it difficult to really follow along. It was easier for Roxy but even she wasn't completely sure of everything he was saying. All she knew was that he was happy and clearly being well taken care of.

Seeing a familiar face and bald head in the background, Roxy smiled. "Hi Chucky," she said with a laugh.

"Hi Roxanna," he sounded less chipper.

"You tell those Mayans I miss them and to take care of you, okay?"

He nodded and disappeared from her view. As the last Teller he had any connection to Chucky was disheartened by her situation, to say the least. Roxy said a long goodbye to Mateo and thanked Letty for her help before they ended the call.

Almost as soon as they said goodbye there was a sharp knock at the door and Roxy instantly felt the urge to cry.

"I don't want you to leave," she said sadly

"It's okay," he assured her. "I'm gonna keep that guard flush so he'll watch out for you, Rox."

She nodded. "I know what I said about accepting this but can you wait to start sleeping around and moving on until I'm convicted...if you haven't already started?"

"I haven't," he told her. "If you're out tomorrow or 2038 I'm gonna be right outside that gate, Rox. There's no moving on."

"Really?"

Coco looked away, feeling his eyes sting with tears. "I denied this for so long, we wasted so much time," he said angrily. "I'm moving forward, fixing shit and doing right by you and Letty, I ain't gonna backslide."

Roxy closed her eyes and a few fat tears rolled down her cheeks. "Please, get me the fuck out of here," she said. It was a complete switch from her resigned attitude, his honesty made it easier to be completely open with him. She was not accepting her potential fate, she was desperate and terrified and unsure if she could cope.

Coco wrapped his arms around Roxy and held her against his chest, his soothing heartbeat calming her for the moment. "I'm gonna get you out, Rox."

Angel was bored, painfully bored, as he waited for Coco to finish his visit with Roxy. He had already finished one pack of cigarettes and opened another when Bishop called.

"Yo," Angel answered. "What's up?"

"Coco done?"

"Nah," Angel sighed.

Bishop huffed. "Galindo wants a meeting."

"Everything okay?"

"I think," he said, "Sounds like something with Rox's case."

"A meeting sounds like something bad with Rox's case."

"I know," Bishop agreed with Angel. "Think you'll make it back by tonight?"

Catching sight of Coco walking out of the prison Angel gave him a wave. "He's coming out now, we'll come right up."

"Don't go acting stupid and get pulled over, that's what started this fucking mess."

When Coco and Angel arrived back in Santo Padre, sore and exhausted from their ten hour round trip, the Mayans and Galindo were already gathered.

"Sorry," Coco said. "Hit some traffic."

Miguel was much warmer this time. He greeted Coco with a smile and a firm handshake. "I appreciate you coming right over."

"Yeah, ya know, it's for Rox. What's going on?"

"Turns out the straightlaced DA is a joke, he's got debts and markers out with dealers and bookies," Miguel was smug as he explained. "Took deep digging but that's what my people are good at. He's bought and paid for but the only hurdle, so to speak, is their witness."

"Who's that?" Bishop asked forcefully. He didn't like Galindo's air, the showy attitude, and Bishop knew this was where their dirty work came into play.

"Little Roxy's victim," Miguel said. He looked at Coco. "Won't let it go without making a lot of noise, the DA said even if he drops charges this guy won't stop. He may be forced to take her to trial if this asshole stirs up enough public outrage."

"So we gotta kill him," Coco said simply. "Ain't nothing quieter than dead."

Miguel grimaced. "Not that easy. He's got a family, involved in the neighborhood. Those charges go away and he's suddenly gone, with Roxy's history being plastered all over the local papers, eyes come right back here." He pointed to the pew and then the Mayans who all stood close together.

"Money?" Angel said with a goofy, confused expression.

"Possibly," Miguel shrugged. "It's up to you, I played my part with the DA, you deal with the witness and that way we can share the risk. This isn't exactly as safe as our work here and across the border. Nothing with this as secure as we're used to."

Nestor stepped forward from behind Miguel and handed Bishop a sheet of paper with all of the victim's information.

"We'll let you know when it's handled," Bishop said confidently.

Miguel smiled and nodded. "I'm sure you will." He looked at the Mayans one by one, saving Coco for last. "Good luck."

A Few Days Later*

"Teller," a deep voice boomed. "You have a visitor."

"A visitor?" She looked up from her book as the guard approached her cell. "For real?"

"For real," he said. He tapped the bars with his nightstick and Roxy folded her page over before tossing the book down. Heading over to the door she followed usual procedure, her anxiety growing as she wondered who would have made the trek to visit her.

When she saw Happy sitting in the visitor's room she relaxed, her suspicions were squashed and she knew she was safe.

"You scared me," she said. They hugged briefly before taking their spots across from each other. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanna make sure you're good," he grumbled. "Looks like you're getting some shit." His rough hands traced the fading marks on her face.

"I'm good," she said timidly. "Any news?"

"I don't know shit," he admitted. "Lawyer is tight-lipped and your friends are keeping shit close."

Her brows furrowed. "Why? They know they can trust you."

"I don't know," he huffed. "Don't matter." Happy didn't want to admit he hadn't reached out to the Mayans for that information, he was pissed and he blamed Coco for Roxy's situation.

"Okay," she said suspiciously. "How are you?"

"Fine," he shrugged.

"You drove all this way to say pretty much nothing?"

"I was in the area," he told her.

"You're either a liar or you're keeping something from me."

"Probably both," he smirked. "I'm practically twice your age kiddo, I gotta lot of history up here." Happy tapped his head and winked at her.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Way to avoid the question."

"It's my job."

"Hap," she whispered. "I'm scared."

"I know," he took her hand across the table. "We're working on it."

She nodded and cleared her throat. "Uh, Diana and Marcus would get custody of Teo if I actually uhh, do real time, they're his only living relatives really, but I think I want him to stay in Santo Padre. It's the only home he really knows, Hap."

"What, you gonna have that asshole Coco take care of him?"

Roxy drew her head back. "Seriously?"

"If he wasn't an idiot you wouldn't be in here."

"If I wasn't an idiot and a criminal I wouldn't be in here!" Two guards looked at Roxy when she raised her voice but she quickly shut her mouth. "I don't need this shit. This is my fault, okay? I was just asking for advice or ideas but if you're gonna be a cocksucker then just go home."

He nodded, clearly angry. running his tongue along his lower lip wishing he had a toothpick to chew on. "Advice on what?"

"Mateo," she huffed. "Right now he's being cared for by a biker gang and the random people associated with them. Chucky, Coco's daughter," she shook her head, "But he's happy."

"You know for sure?"

"I talked to him a few days ago when Coco came by," she smiled at the memory. "We were able to FaceTime. It was great."

"That gonna be doable for twenty years?"

Roxy shook her head. "I doubt it. Look how many people we lost in six before I moved down south. Esai, Piney, Opie, Sack, Bobby, Tara, my mom, Jax," her voice cracked. "Who the fuck is gonna be left?"

"I miss 'em too but no one else is gonna die," he said sadly.

"Jax said the same shit then he killed my mom and himself and, on top of it, no one fucking warned me," she spat. "Sorry if I have trust issues about it."

Happy grit his teeth and glared at her, his anger was toward himself mostly but he took it out on her. "I'm down here to help you," he growled. "Trust that."

Roxy watched as Happy angrily got up from the table and stormed out of the visitor's room. She had no idea what that meant but it scared her more than it comforted her.


	7. Chapter 7

"So why'd he get the invite?" Gilly asked Coco as they stood around with Angel and Creeper finalizing their plans.

Coco looked at Happy intently, ignoring his prospect and Ratboy, his cheeks twitching as he clenched his jaw muscles. "Apparently this is his specialty."

"This?" Angel asked with a huff. "What is this? We haven't done shit yet."

"If we gotta be forceful," Coco explained. "That's what he said but I think its bullshit. He wants to be here when she gets out, he doesn't trust me," Coco looked at his brothers, "He doesn't trust any of us."

"Cause of the cartel?" Creeper suggested the most obvious reason.

Coco nodded. "He thinks it's gonna go south like shit did for them and Rox is gonna get hurt." Shrugging, Coco looked at the others. "I don't blame him."

"What was their deal? Him and Rox?" Gilly asked, revealing his gossipy interest in the whole situation.

"After he killed Esai he felt guilty as fuck," Angel explained. "With all the shit going on with her brother before he died she was a mess and he decided to take care of her."

"Then they just got close," Coco added.

"Were they ever together?" Gilly asked, confusion on his face. "He seems fucking psycho for a guy who never hit it."

"She said no," Coco chose his words very carefully. "I always thought they did too, he's poking around a lot, gives her money and doesn't trust us to keep an eye on her."

"I dunno, brother," Angel laughed, "That sounds like he's pussy drunk to me." Coco gave Angel a fierce look and the latter quickly buttoned up. "I'm just playing, man, Roxy's been into you for years."

"I just wanna get her out," Coco huffed. He walked away from the small group to smoke his cigarette in silence.

"He's a mess," Angel sighed.

"I would be too," Gilly commiserated. "I heard she was getting tuned up."

Angel nodded. "That's what I heard. She's got no clout in Arizona," he huffed. "Least if she was home she's got her family and us, out here she's a nobody. That guard can only do so much."

"What do you think the women's prison is like?" Gilly asked with a grimace.

"Yo," Creeper laughed darkly, "That shits gotta be way worse than the men's." He was only partially kidding in his assumption.

Angel pursed his lips and nodded enthusiastically. "No doubt. Those chicks are fucking brutal."

"Heading out in five, no kuttes, low profile," Bishop announced loudly. Looking at Angel, Bishop added, "Make sure all you idiots take a leak."

The small group left on their way to Marty Sherman's neighborhood, one man dropping off every few houses as not to draw suspicions. By the time they arrived at the correct address, it was only Coco, Hank, and Bishop. Happy hung back a few feet and allowed the Mayans to handle the conversations. If his expertise was needed, though, he would be ready.

Hank knocked on the door and as if he was waiting for them, Marty opened up immediately. He wore a big smile, large gaps from missing teeth glaringly obvious, but when he realized who was on his doorstep his smile disappeared.

"What do you want?"

They weren't sure why he was so standoffish, they weren't wearing their colors, but none of the Mayans let their confusion show.

"Outreach," Bishop said with a smile. "We understand you've been the victim," he didn't get any further.

"This about that Teller bitch?" He asked with disgust in his voice. "She can outreach this." The man said harshly as he grabbed his crotch and yanked.

Coco pushed his way into the house and punched Marty square in the nose.

"Coco," Bishop barked warningly.

"My bad," Coco grumbled.

Bishop walked in quickly after them, Hank following as well, and it was only then that they realized why he was so standoffish.

"Jesus," Hank grumbled.

"Another member of the Concerned Citizen Coalition," Bishop remarked.

There was one large laundry basket by the steps, a few of the pieces of clothing had embroidered swastikas on them. The rest of the house looked normal, no signs of hate like many would use to decorate their spaces.

Hank, Coco, and Bishop chatted in Spanish, mostly meaningless comments just to annoy him, before altering their original plan.

"Fucking spics," the man grumbled. "Which one of you assholes were there that night with her?"

"None of us," Coco seethed, standing threateningly over the man," But Imma do worse than he did."

"Unless you work with us," Hank said quickly. "You keep your mouth shut, the girl walks, and you don't have a repeat of that night."

Marty chuckled, feeling he now had the upper hand and clambered to his feet. "These missing teeth are cause of that girl and her brown buddy." He gestured to the table were a set on dentures were sitting.

"Yo put that shit away," Coco said with disgust.

"I'm not letting her get away with shit," he spat. Grabbing his teeth he sucked them back into his mouth and looked at Coco daring him to try something else.

"She was a kid," Coco huffed.

"She's got a little boy now," Bishop explained.

"Kid is gonna be better off without her," Marty snapped. "Probably a little beaner baby."

When Coco stepped toward him, Hank grabbed him and pushed him a few feet back. "Don't make it worse."

"You want money?" Bishop offered.

"I already got it," he chuckled. "What I really want is that piece of shit who was with her that night."

Coco and Bishop looked at each other. "You want him locked up?" The former asked.

"Yeah. That's where each one of you assholes belongs."

"He's dead," Coco snarled.

Marty smiled. "Good."

"How can we make this go away?" Bishop was growing more annoyed and it was beginning to show.

Loving the position of power he was in, Marty grinned wickedly. Coco tore through the laundry basket with a huff. "Your family know about this shit?"

"This current political climate is dangerous for some wannabe skinheads," Hank reminded Marty. "All that love is gonna disappear."

"You don't have proof," he scoffed. "There's nothing, I make damn sure of that."

"Camera says another thing," Bishop bluffed. He tapped his watch with a smug look.

"Let the DA drop charges," Hank said.

"And we walk outta here without saying a goddamn word," Coco assured him.

"No," Marty said staunchly. "Let that little bitch rot."

"Bish," Coco groaned. "Lemme at 'em."

"Try me," Marty snapped. He pulled a large knife from the back of his pants and jabbed at the air between him and Coco.

Coco didn't hesitate. He pulled his gun and fired two shots into Marty's head, killing him instantly.

"Jesus, Coco," Bishop groaned. Seconds later the others descended on the house. "We're fine."

"He's dead?" Happy growled. "This is gonna bring more heat."

"We can handle it," Coco said defensively. "We don't need you."

"You're gonna need me to help with this," Happy grunted.

"Stop," Bishop barked authoritatively. "Coco, take this and buy your way into see Rox." Handing over a wad of cash, Bishop hurried Coco out the door. "You gotta get outta your head before one of you assholes kills the other. Shit wasn't supposed to go down like this."

"Asshole was asking for it," he said dismissively.

"Yeah he was," Bishop said supportively. "We'll deal with this. Just get outta here."

Coco nodded and went on his way up the street to where he had parked knowing Bishop would send someone to have his back. He didn't look behind him, assuming it was Angel or Gilly, and drive off toward the prison knowing whoever it was could keep up.

Looking at the mess before them, the guys brainstormed ways to place the murder of Marty Sherman on someone else.

"The DA is in Galindo's pocket," Hank reminded them.

With a smile, Bishop nodded. "Let's make that call and see what story we can whip up."

Finally, when Coco arrived at the prison, he looked to see Gilly had been sent to babysit. They shook hands briefly before Coco stepped into the visitor's entrance looking for the guard from before.

"Come with me." Coco heard from behind him. Turned out the guard spotted him first. "Got the money?"

"Yeah," Coco said.

"She's in the infirmary," the guard said sadly. "I can sneak you up though."

"What happened?"

"Another fight," he told Coco. "Some women just can't seem to fit in, she's had a target on her since she got here."

"Can't you put her in AdSeg?"

"Not my call," he said. "She's in here, the doc is out of the building but there's an on-duty nurse. She's fine, don't worry about her."

"You sure?" Coco asked anxiously.

"I'm hittin' it," he said proudly.

Coco forced a laugh and nodded. "Alright. Cool." Once the guard unlocked the door, Coco slipped in quickly to find Roxy barely sitting up in bed. "Hey, babygirl."

"Coco?" She gasped then winced. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking on you," he said sadly. "What happened?"

"It's just a few cracked ribs," she said casually. "I didn't know you were coming. Happy was here earlier."

"I know," Coco said. "We're working on some shit for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He carefully lifted up her shirt to see deep hues of purple and blue up and down her usually porcelain skin. Coco hissed at the sight of the garish bruises and tenderly kissed her ribs, barely even touching her as not to cause any pain. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You have to get me outta here, Johnny," she whimpered. "I can't do this shit. They know I'm fucking weak, they can fucking smell it on me, I can't fight back against these cunts all the time."

"You ain't fucking weak," he chided. "Don't say that shit. We just need more time."

Roxy's face twisted as she tried in vain to keep from crying. The sobs sent stabbing pains through her chest, taking her breath away, which only pain her panic and increased the pain.

"Shh, shh, shh," he said soothingly. "Ya gotta calm down, princesa."

Eventually, Roxy did settle and was able to breathe calmly once again. "I can't do this for twenty years."

"You're not gonna have to."

Roxy nodded. She wanted to tell Coco how much she loved him but she wasn't sure how lasting those feelings were. At that moment he was her savior, her protector, and she was madly in love with him but Roxy was scared if she told him once their nightmare was over she'd feel differently, or the words would simply drive him away.

"Give Mateo my love, all the guys too," she sniffled.

"Yeah, I will," he promised. The sharp knock on the door startled them both.

"Not yet," she whinnied.

"Here." Coco slid his cigarettes under the blanket. "Sell em' or smoke em', whatever."

"Thank you," she said quickly.

Coco kissed her lips softly. "I'll see you soon."

When local officers were called to the Sherman residence they found a much more interesting murder scene than was originally there. Any Nazi or white pride items he had hidden around were now proudly on display.

As soon as word got out among law enforcement, the DA was on the scene. He had already heard about the murder from Galindo but he couldn't make his entrance until he was contacted officially.

"Looks like our key witness was hiding some strong opinions," he remarked.

"If this gets out it's going to be nasty," the detective replied.

"Internet outrage," he huffed.

"This'll be more than internet outrage," the detective added.

The DA nodded. "Any suspects?"

"Nothing specific," the detective said. "Someone obviously found out about the secret, there was a bunch of nazi shit was torn up and LA RAZA spray painted on the dining room wall."

"Jesus Christ, is that the Hispanic Pride movement?"

"Looks like they're getting violent," the detective replied.

"Let's keep this quiet," the DA ordered. "I don't need this shit hitting the papers."

The detective nodded and watched as the DA left the house with his phone to his ear. He was already making the call to drop charges against Roxy. He wouldn't find out until hours later that it wasn't that easy anymore and it wasn't just his call after what happened in the infirmary between Roxy and her current bullies.

At some small, hole-in-the-wall bar the Mayans, Happy, his prospect and Rat, celebrated their win. The DA already let them know the wheels were in motion, although it would take a few days, and they wanted to unwind from the stress of the past few hours. Happy was the first to disappear with a woman, then Creeper and one by one the others but Coco paid no attention to anyone or anything but his brothers and his beer.

"You back that soon?" Happy asked with a raspy chuckle. "Did you even snag one?"

"Nah," he said casually.

"You two that serious?" Happy asked, sitting one spot down from Coco.

"I guess," Coco muttered. He wanted to keep to himself, especially when it came to Happy, without seeming rude or ungrateful and possibly kick up some tension.

"Pussywhipped," Happy laughed to himself.

"Fuck you, man," Coco grumbled. "You don't give a shit about her, you just feel guilty for killin' Esai."

"And if I didn't she never woulda came down to that shit hole to ride your needle dick," Happy spat.

Coco stood up with such force the creaking barstool tumbled back. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"You," Happy spat. "This shit is your fault." Rat and the prospect stepped up to have Happy's back if he needed it.

Forcing himself between them both, Bishop glared at Happy. "Back off," he growled.

"You're not doing your job," Happy told Bishop. "Marcus sent her to you guys cause Jax and Gemma died, you're supposed to keep her safe." Happy looked at the other Mayans. "We all made Jax that promise."

"Go get some air," Hank told Happy.

Happy rolled his jaw but relented, knowing him, his prospect and Ratboy were clearly outnumbered, and the three of them left the bar. Hank pushed Coco into an empty stool and picked up the one that had been knocked over.

"What the fuck was that?" Angel asked, strolling over toward his brothers with a goofy look on his face.

"Someone's territorial," Gilly explained.

"Which one?"

"Ain't me," Coco said defensively. "Rox is a goddamn grown ass woman, she can do whatever she wants and she wants to be with us, with me."

"You don't have to worry," Bishop sighed. "I'll talk to Alvarez, smooth shit over."

"You gotta tell him," Hank advised. "He's gonna go to Alvarez, you know it, you gotta make sure anything you're keeping about Rox comes from you and not him."

"This is bullshit," Coco spat. "He ain't her father."

"Yo, chill man," Angel said quietly. They all knew it was more than that, it was very nuanced, even if they were more relaxed with their women, almost progressive compared to other clubs, the situation wasn't that simple.

"Let's get her home," Bishop said firmly. "Then I think we need to have a talk with Rox about all this shit. Coco's right, she's not a kid anymore, we all gotta see that, Mayans and SAMCRO."


	8. Chapter 8

For Bishop, getting a call from Alvarez while they were still away from home wasn't unusual. Getting a call when they were in the middle of an important task, one that was pressing and possibly dangerous was incredibly disconcerting. Marcus wouldn't call unless it was important and this was very important.

Bishop stepped away from the others for some privacy and answered his phone as quickly as he could. "What's going on?"

"Galindo spoke to the DA."

"And?" Bishop huffed, he could hear there was a problem in his older cousin's voice. "This was a done deal."

"It was supposed to be." Alvarez's words were heavy with anger. "Roxy was attacked in the infirmary, she's alright just a few pokes but she went after the girl. Sliced her up."

"Good girl," Bishop said under his breath. "So no release til she's healed up?"

"Warden wants to make an example of her," Alvarez explained. "Can't kill him but we can sic SAMCRO's boy on him."

Bishop's jaw clenched. "Hap's not around. We'll handle it."

When Bishop turned around he could see Coco looking at him intently. He slid his phone back into his pocket and shook his head.

"One more hurdle," he said apologetically.

"This is some bullshit," he spat. "What now?"

"She's in some shit with the warden," Bishop explained. "He needs some convincing."

"I'll convince him," Coco said quickly. "I'm not leaving this shit hole state without her, not again."

"You can't kill him," Bishop warned him. "You up to it?" When Coco nodded in agreement, Bishop texted Coco the address from Alvarez. "I'm coming with you, we all are."

They had to move hastily, no time to prepare, and with no supplies or backup but as they gathered outside the Warden's door Coco felt confident and determined. He knocked on the door, the others scattered around the property watching closely, and waited with growing anxiety for the man to open the door.

"Can I help you?" The warden asked as he opened the door to see Coco under the porchlight. He had a hat on, no kutte, and spoke clearly but not too loud. The closest neighbors were out of view, far off down the road and blocked by trees but they were still trying to be as low key as possible.

"Yah," Coco said casually. He showed his gun in his pants and gestured toward the vestibule. "We gotta talk."

Coolly, the warden nodded and allowed Coco into the house. "I recognize you, I know what this is."

"Then you know what I want," Coco snapped. "What's it gonna take to get it?" He asked, reaching back and shutting the door behind him.

"I'm not gonna risk my life for that girl," he said angrily. It looked like the warden was thinking exactly what they hoped. A minor offender like Roxy was just not worth the trouble. "I'll let her go but I do want one thing in return."

Coco relaxed a little feeling this was going to end much easier than he expected. "I can try to help you out," he shrugged.

"Who's the guard who got you in?" The warden asked bitterly. "I've seen you visiting Roxanna Teller, I saw your little meeting in the room," he smirked at the memory, "But whoever got you it was smart enough to cover his tracks."

"You saw that shit?" Coco asked with surprise. "I thought the room was paid for, no cameras.

The warden shook his head. "He lets prisoners watch the tape of you two for cash. You trusted the wrong guy."

Coco ran his fingers through his hair, his teeth clenched, and let out a growl. He didn't care about being on the tape himself but he didn't want anyone seeing Roxy like that, especially without her agreeing to it. Coco didn't want to hand the guard over to the warden, he wanted to snap his neck.

"I don't know his name."

"Bullshit," the warden spat. "I'll have her out to you in an hour if you just give me a name."

The words were on the tip of his tongue but Coco remained quiet, unsure how he felt about it. The guard had claimed to help Roxy during her short stint but he was not a friend to anyone in that prison. "I'm not gonna sell him out."

"Even after what he did?"

Coco's lips twitched a little as he tried to hide a rage-filled snarl. "I'll talk to him about that shit." He said talk but meant torture and murder and there was no confusion for anyone about his true intentions.

"Then I keep her in and you'll see what he's doing to these girls when he does it to her and someone else pays a higher price," the warden grumbled. "Guards protect each other, I can't get shit out of them, but whoever this asshole is, he's sexually assaulted two inmates and sold out a few others to whoever had the cash." He spoke with genuine disgust and anger in his voice. "He did it to them and he'll do it to your girl if he hasn't already."

Taking another second to decide, Coco nodded. "Make the call and I'll give you the name."

"A gentleman's agreement?" The warden seemed amused by it.

"Ya, whatever," Coco huffed. He offered the warden his hand and the two shook, sealing their deal. "Now call."

Without hesitation, the warden made the call and Coco lived up to his end of the bargain by giving the name of the guard. As soon as he said it his stomach turned sour but Coco ignored the churning bile and shook the man's hand again.

"She'll be released within the hour. Pleasure doing business with you, Coco,"

Coco froze at the sound at his name and looked at the man with intense, suspicious eyes. "Don't think you got the jump on me."

"I wouldn't dare," he said. "Better get moving or she'll be kept waiting."

Without a second thought, Coco bounced out the door and met the others a half a block down where they had parked.

"She's getting out," he said quickly.

Bishop looked confused and concerned by how easy it all seemed to have been. "When?"

"Soon," he huffed. "If I go now I'll probably make it before she's walked out the gates."

"Now?" Angel scoffed. "What'd you do, suck his dick?"

Coco shot Angel a dark look. "That guard was abusing the inmates, probably how Rox got hurt, I gave him the name."

"You gave the Warden his name?" Bishop barked. "What were you thinking, Coco?"

"That I wanted to get my girl out before she got raped or killed," Coco snapped back. "I'm sorry Bish, but fuck that guy. We don't need him anymore, I'm not gonna let him put his hands on Rox." Coco jumped on his bike and raced away, without waiting for anyone else and leaving Bishop to clean up the mess he unknowingly made.

"Take care of the guard," Bishop directed Creeper and Tranq. "He opens his mouth about his ties to Galindo and we're all gonna be on that goddamn pew."

Tranq nodded. "You going to talk to Padrino?"

"If I don't, someone will," he huffed. "Gilly, Angel, go with Coco. Head back as soon as you can peel those two apart. We got a lot of shit to clear up in Templo."

Angel and Gilly could hardly keep up with Coco on his way to the prison. He had planned her release in his head over and over. Mateo would be there waiting for his mother, Coco would have had fresh clothes for her to change into and her car for a more comfortable ride home. Those things weren't going to happen now but it didn't really matter, the biggest thing was that she got out and she'd be safe again.

"I don't know why Bish didn't tell anyone," Gilly spoke quietly to Angel as Coco approached the large fence where prisoners were typically released. "Fucking dangerous, all these secrets."

"So Galindo got the lawyer because they had an in with the guard?" Angel asked, trying to get the facts straight. "Or did the lawyer broker shit between the guard and Galindo?"

"I think the lawyer set it up," Gilly mused. "Cause they didn't have an in until they paid the lawyer."

"He's gonna be pissed," Angel groaned.

"Yellow raincoat pissed?"

Angel looked at Gilly with an apprehensive expression. "I don't wanna fuckin' know. Shit, the mess with Adelita is easier than this."

"For now," Gilly chuckled darkly.

From as far back as they were, Angel and Gilly didn't see Roxy as the doors opened but they knew she was on her way as light streamed out from the exit.

Ahead of them, Coco hurried right to the fence. His fingers gripped the chain link as Roxy's figure appeared up the pathway, outlined by the bright floodlights above the prison gates. When her eyes adjusted she immediately saw Coco and broke into a sprint.

"Johnny!" She hollered, launching herself at him. Roxy jumped into his arms, legs around his waist, and kissed him. "Thank you! Thank you! Fucking thank you!"

Coco didn't speak. He kissed her, deeply and with a furious hunger, and gripped her tight. Feeling her tears roll down her cheeks Coco almost began to cry himself. They didn't end their kiss until she yelped under his rough hands.

Pulling his lips from hers he looked at her with concern. "What?"

"I have some stitches," she reminded him.

"I forgot," he said apologetically. Letting her back down to the blacktop on her own two feet, Coco looked her over. "You okay?"

"I am now," she sighed. "They told me I was stuck in there after the fight. What did you guys do?"

Coco shuffled, slightly anxious about admitting it after Bishop's reaction. "Gave the Warden that guard's name, he's been fucking with cons in there."

"I know," she nodded. "I was trying to keep him on my side but, uh, I think the smiles and money were wearing thin."

"You're all good now," he assured her. "I promise, Rox."

"I know," she hugged him again, "You kept your promise, I can't thank you, Coco. Seriously, you saved my fucking life."

"I always got your back, baby girl." He told her. "Always."

Roxy smiled, wanting to scream how much she loved him but lacking the confidence at that moment. Noticing Angel and Gilly strolling up behind Coco, Roxy moved quickly to give them each a hug.

"Good to see you guys," she sniffled. "Alright, I don't want to spend another goddamn minute here, let's go home."

Follow me on Instagram, @PBB_Writer, I'm lame but the posts are story related!


	9. Chapter 9

"I can't thank you enough, Coco," Roxy said again as they pulled up outside her building, "Really."

"You're welcome," he said with a sweet smile. "It was selfish, I wanted you out for me too."

Roxy swallowed back those three words again and pressed her forehead against his. "You're amazing. I'll see you soon?"

"Just say when," he said. "I'm coming up to get Letti."

Roxy took the stairs two at a time and pounded on the front door. She heard Mateo and Letti on the other side as the locks clicked one by one. The door swung open and Roxy rushed in, grabbing Mateo and lifting him into her arms.

"Mommy!" Mateo clapped his hands behind her head as she hugged him.

"Sweetie," she cried. "Mommy missed you so much. I'm so sorry I was gone. I'm never gonna leave you again, I swear."

Mateo, unable to really understand the gravity of the situation his mother was in, just hugged her back. He was excited, he had missed her, but the promises didn't mean much to him as a four year old.

"Mommy's home!" He said joyfully. "Can we go for ice cream?!"

"Of course baby," Roxy sniffled. "Burgers and ice cream?"

"YEAH!" Mateo shouted. "Can Letti come?"

"Do you want her to come?" Roxy asked, putting him back on the floor and crouching down to his eye level.

"Yeah! She's the best babysitter ever!"

"Then of course she can," Roxy said with a smile. "What if I asked Coco too?"

"Coco is her daddy?"

"Yes, he is," Roxy said.

"Okay!" He said quickly, obviously not caring either way. "Can I go play now?"

Roxy laughed and nodded. "Yeah, go ahead kiddo." When she stood again, Roxy hugged Letti without a word or any warning. "Thank you so much for taking care of my baby."

Although she was uncomfortable with the sudden show of affection, Letti returned the hug. "You're welcome. He's fun and uh, you know," she shrugged, "Family."

"I'm proud of you," Coco told her. He'd been trying to show her how good family could be, introducing her to the club and Roxy, and it seemed she'd really taken his lessons to heart.

"Why don't we meet around 6?" Roxy said, stepping back from both of them. "For dinner?"

"Yeah, uh, after dinner we gotta hit the clubhouse," Coco said reluctantly. Bishop told him to bring her there but he knew the conversation would be far from pleasant. "Bish wants to talk shit over, you know? Little debrief."

"Oh, uh, sure," Roxy shrugged. She hugged him again. "I never would have made it in there, Johnny. Thank you. You truly saved my life."

Coco kissed her cheek. "You're welcome, mama. I'll see you tonight."

"Hey," Coco tapped Letti when everyone was finished eating, "Go take Mateo to the arcade."

Roxy watched as Coco gave her some cash and sent her and Mateo across the diner to the small arcade. She was hesitant, it was odd and she knew it was probably not good.

"What?" She asked, pushing her plate away from her. "What is it?"

"After this, Bishop wants to have a sit down," he said sadly.

"I know," she suspiciously. "You told me that."

"Yeah but I don't want you walking in there blind."

"What the fuck is this, Coco?" Roxy glared at him across the table, sitting back against the booth with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Alvarez," Coco explained. "Bish wants to tell him everything, broker some kind of release. You're a goddamn grown woman, Rox. And Happy, he's gotta step the fuck back."

"What about Happy?"

"He was popping off, think SAMCRO wants you to go back, some loyalty to your brother, like we ain't keeping you safe."

Rox scoffed. "My brother is dead. There is no loyalty to dead men, Coco. He did fucked up shit then he drove himself into a truck, I don't care what he would've wanted for me and Mateo."

"I know," Coco leaned in. "You're not a kid, I don't think people see that."

"I'm not going," she huffed.

"You gotta go," he said quickly. "Bish is gonna kick my ass for telling you."

"I'm an adult, right? I don't want to go."

Slamming his arm down on the table he sat back again and huffed. "You know who's gonna catch heat for this shit? For your job, for letting you go off and do whatever you want? Bishop."

"Oh," her eyebrows were raised high, "Guess no one told him he's a fucking grown man."

"Rox," he said angrily. "You know it ain't like that, it's different in the club."

"All my life it's been, the club, Mayans or Sons it's no different. I'm so sick of this shit."

Coco knew his plan wasn't exactly a good one but he didn't realize how bad it was until he was in too deep. "I'm sorry, Rox," he said sadly. "I just wanted to give you some warning."

"Yeah, I know, thanks," she huffed. "Can I tell them just," she was cut off by her phone ringing, "Ugh, it's Hap."

"Maybe you should wait," Coco said apprehensively. "Talk with Bish first."

"No," she said as she put her phone to her ear, "Hey Hap."

"You're out?" He asked forcefully.

"Yeah, I heard you bailed, your fault you missed me."

"You heard wrong," he grumbled. "Chibs and Tig are coming down with me."

"What for?"

"To see you, lay some shit out," he said with a huff.

"I'm good, Hap. I just want to be home, man," Rox sighed. "I don't need a parade of people I never see coming to visit just cause I was locked up for a while."

"We got a proposition," he explained. "We need some help, TM needs someone in the office with half a brain."

"No."

Happy waited, thinking she'd say more, but Roxy remained silent. "We're bringing you home."

"No you're not," she snapped. "Shit Happy. Stop. Jax is dead. You all gotta let whatever weird promises you made to him go. I'm not going back. I want to be here."

"With the Mayans?"

"With myself," she snapped. "I don't need an MC or a man."

"They're gonna get you killed," he warned her. "Remember that shit with Galindo and Lobos? Fucking heads and drive bys, it's only a matter of time."

"Goodbye, Happy," she snapped. "Don't come to Santo Padre." Roxy tossed her phone back into her bag and sat silently stewing.

Coco chewed on some of the few fries leftover before attempting to talk to her. "You good?"

"I'm fine."

"You still ditchin' Bishop?"

"No." She didn't sound happy about it but she knew he'd catch too much heat if she didn't show up. "ONLY for you."

"Thank you," he said with a relieved smile.

"You're staying with Mateo though," she said quickly.

"What?"

Roxy got up from the table. "Keep him busy, please? I'll handle this shit."

"No," he said quickly. "Roxy."

"Johnny," she turned and pressed her hand to his chest, "Stop."

"Why don't you trust me?" He asked her sadly.

Rox huffed, looking at the attention they were beginning to gather from other families. "Let's talk outside."

They headed out to the parking lot and Coco glared at her. "What's your problem?"

"I'm fucking crazy, Coco," she laughed ruefully. "Always been, you shoulda met my mother, she was batshit. I don't think any of you guys can know what it feels like to be under a man's thumb your entire life. My step-dad, my brother, the club, Marcus, Bishop."

"Me?"

"No, actually," she smiled a little. "That's why I don't want you there, if I go off, and I probably will, I don't want you to think any of that shit is on you."

Coco smiled, feeling special and important which were things he rarely ever felt, and nodded. "I get it."

"This shit with Bishop and Alvarez, him letting me do shit he knows Marcus would be pissed about, how bad is that?"

"I dunno," Coco shrugged. "He'll be pissed, they'll be some tension and shit, but I don't think anything is gonna last. Just gonna be nasty for a while."

Roxy huffed, her fiery attitude cooling quickly, and shook her head. "You know, I love Bish, I love all you assholes."

"What?" Coco drew his head back. "What happened to that big old feminist rant?"

"Get the kids," she sighed. "I have to go make a call."

"You're a crazy bitch," he said with annoyance, "But I fuckin' love you," Coco sighed.

Trying to hide her smile, Roxy gave him a scathing look. "You really just dropped that bomb next to a stinky restaurant dumpster?"

"I thought you'd feel at home here," he teased. "You know, crazy ass white trash."

"You're a dick," she laughed. "I love you too, Coco." Roxy kissed him and gave him a playful push toward the door. "Go get the kids. We'll go over there together, I just have to make a call."

As soon as Roxy walked into the clubhouse, Bishop charged toward her. He looked furious, so much so that Coco immediately stood between them. He knew Bishop wouldn't hit her but if he said something harsh, as he was likely to do, Rox would try to punch him.

"What did you say to Alvarez?" He growled at Roxy with his finger in her face.

"I told him to stop," she said flatly, "To back off. I told him where I work and that I went against your explicit orders not to."

"You know how lucky you are to have him, chica?"

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Please. Spare me. I'm over this shit, Mayans, Sons, all this protection and clout type shit didn't keep me out of prison."

"It got you out," Tranq reminded her.

That silenced her but only for a minute. "I just mean this ownership protection shit. You want to treat me like I'm some virginal weakling. Lemme strip. Lemme be with Coco without making him have to earn it or be worthy. I want to be with him. That makes him worthy."

"This ain't about Coco," Bishop huffed. "Listen, it wasn't for Mateo, Alvarez wouldn't care about you," he told her harshly. "You pull this shit and he's not gonna have a problem pulling support."

"I can pay my own bills," Roxy told Bishop. "I don't NEED his money, it's nice and it helps but I can live without it." She was indignant. "What's he gonna do? Tell you guys to drop me? Try to pull the unfit parent card? Get judges and shit involved? Yeah right."

Coco and Bishop made eye contact and nodded once. Turning away from Bishop, Coco looked at Rox. "Lemme take you home."

"What?" She drew her head back. "That's it?"

"You wanna run your own show, fine, you already been, now he knows it," Bishop explained. "Nothing else to say."

Roxy was suspicious. It was so much less dramatic than her and Coco were expecting and it all wrapped up quickly.

"Why do I feel like you're all being super weird?"

"Just take it," Angel laughed. "Leave while ya can."

"Come on," Coco said guiding her toward the door.

"So that's it?" She asked him quietly.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"What aren't you telling me?" Roxy asked him kind they were outside again. "Coco, please."

"Rox," he grumbled, "It's tied in with the club."

"There is something?" She asked him with desperation. Coco nodded. "Will it change anything? Us? My brother or my mom? Is it about my nephews?"

"No, none of that," he assured her.

"Fine," she huffed. "I'm going to take Mateo home."

"Letti's stuff is still there," he remembered.

"She still need a place to stay?"

Coco nodded. "Haven't had time to look," he said apologetically.

"You've been busy," she smiled a little. "She can stay. It's fine."

"Yo I meant that shit earlier," Coco said sheepishly. "I love you, Rox."

"I love you too." Roxy pinched his chin between her thumb and fingers and pulled him in for a kiss. "I'll see you tonight. I need to get laid."

Coco grinned and nodded. "Me too."

"You haven't?"

"Been busy," he joked.

Roxy just nodded smiled before grabbing Mateo from the office to go home. Letti decided to hang around the yard for a while longer which was perfectly fine with Roxy, she wanted some one on one time with Mateo.

When they arrived home again they found the door was already unlocked. Pushing her son behind her, Roxy peeked into the apartment to see Marcus sitting on her couch with a cigarette.

"Shit." She hissed.

"Get in here," he said ominously.

Roxy did as he said, her head down, and sent Mateo to his room. He was hesitant but only because his loved his abuelo so much.

"What is this, Marcus?"

Leaning forward, Marcus looked at Roxy and gestured to the chair across from him.

"Sit. We have to talk."


	10. Chapter 10

Roxy sat. What was she going to do? What could she do? Nothing. She had to listen to Marcus. Sitting across from him she crossed her legs and rested her hands on her knee.

"If this is about Bish and the shit with the Mayans," she started to explain but Marcus stopped her.

"You'll speak when I say you can."

Roxy drew her head back, angry and offended, but just nodded out of fear.

"I sent you down here to keep Mateo safe, to keep you safe," Marcus said. "I know our families are different, I've always known that, but I thought we came to an agreement. When you're raising that boy you keep yourself together, show respect to your family and mine."

"I don't have skills," she said shamefully. "I have no experience. I only strip one night a week, the rest is just waitressing."

"Doesn't matter," he said coolly. "I'm surprised Coco is okay with it."

"Coco isn't exactly into controlling women," she spat.

Marcus laughed at that. "I want you to quit the club, Bishop will line you up with a better job."

Roxy knew better than to push back. "Okay."

"You need to clean this place up," he gestured to the living room. "It's a shithole."

"I just got back," she snapped. "I had a 16-year-old watching Teo here, of course it's a mess."

"Now that you're unemployed you'll have the time to fix it up," he said. "If you really don't like it, I'm sure there's room for you with Nero, Wendy, and your nephews."

"Is...is that a threat?"

"No," he chuckled darkly. "Not at all."

She didn't believe him. "You know, if your son didn't leave, none of this shit would have happened. You're preaching about family values and self-respect but Esai ditched his family, he ran out on his son, why don't you go after him? Why don't you try to force him to do this shit the right way?"

"My son did everything for his family and our club," Marcus said ominously. "This isn't about him."

"Well he didn't do shit for the family he created, so fuck him."

Marcus stood up as if to strike her, but he never actually swung his hand. Roxy cowered, terrified, and looked up at him waiting to see what his next move would be.

"I'm...I'm sorry," she stammered.

Never in all the years she knew Marcus was she ever truly scared of him nor had she ever seen him so enraged or so close to hitting a woman. Roxy wasn't sure where that part of him came from but she had seen a new side of him and it was frightening.

"Esai was a good boy and he would have been a good father and husband," Marcus told her. "He just made one too many mistakes."

"Okay," she said quietly.

When Marcus moved to touch her cheek, Roxy flinched and backed away. "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm sorry I got so angry."

"It's fine," she mumbled.

"Go see Bishop in the morning," he told her.

"I will."

"I just want the best for my family," he reminded her.

Roxy just nodded, dying for him to leave as quickly as possible. She finally felt like she could breathe as his boots clicked on the way toward the door. As soon as she clicked the lock behind him, Roxy burst into tears. The only other man to ever scare her like that was Clay and it brought back countless terrifying memories.

"Looks like I'm not getting any sleep tonight," she grumbled.

Roxy glanced at her phone to see it was still early, too early to expect Coco. Impatient and needy, she text to ask him to get there as soon as possible to which he immediately obliged. It wasn't until the next morning, after Teo and Letti were gone, that she told Coco what happened before he got there.

It was difficult. Coco understood the type of thinking that Marcus used to come to his conclusions but he also understood and agreed with Roxy's points. When she detailed the near assault, his jaw clenched, his hands curled into fists but he didn't say anything. He continued to listen.

"Maybe getting you outta that club is for the best," he suggested.

She shook her head, roughly wiping her tears when the back of her hand before they could actually roll down her face.

"It's not about what's best, it's about him," she huffed. "He swears he knows better, he doesn't care what I want."

Never in her years of knowing Marcus Alvarez had Roxy ever been scared of him but now, despite Coco's reassuring words and presence, she was very afraid.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked her

"What can I do?" She scoffed. "Coco, I really thought he was going to haul the fuck off and hit me."

Rage crept up inside him every single time she talked about it but Coco knew he was powerless. Maybe had he been there he could have intervened or said something but after the fact interjecting himself in that would be very bad news.

"But he didn't," Coco reminded her.

"I know it just altered my whole view of him. He's an MC President, I shouldn't be surprised."

"You thought you were special?" He asked her sadly.

Looking away, Roxy nodded. "I talked so much shit on the Sons and Mayans yesterday, I was wrong though. I mean the misogyny is real, the patriarchy is alive and fucking well, but I guess I didn't see the other side of it. You guys, SAMCRO, most of them, wouldn't do what he did." She looked at him with eyes full of hope, stray bangs obstructing her view a bit, and frowned. "Right? I don't have to worry about someone snapping and throwing me around?"

"No one is gonna lay a hand on you, Mami," he said earnestly. "You know us, Rox, we don't do that shit and never to you."

She swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah thank you for reassuring me."

"Anytime," he smiled sweetly.

"Christ I have to clean this place up," Roxy growled. "That was another complaint."

"We'll do it tonight, make Letti help," he said. "Let's go talk to Bish."

"I don't want to talk to anybody," she admitted. "Fuck Marcus man, you know, if it weren't for you maybe I'd just fucking split with Teo, show him I don't need his ass."

"Hey," he said angrily. "Don't do that shit. It's too dangerous. Where would you even go?" When he asked, there was an instant look of guilt on her face. "You got it all planned?"

"My nephews," she said sadly. "Abel and Thomas, they're up at some ranch with Jax's ex-wife and this guy Nero, I don't know what he was, a friend of the club, my mom's boyfriend," she laughed. "Shit was messy."

"How far?" He asked casually.

"Far, it's a good couple of hours from Charming."

Coco nodded. "You can't split, Rox."

"I know," she rolled her eyes. "Would be fucking awesome though, wouldn't it?"

"No," he laughed a little, "It wouldn't. You got no idea how crazy shit would get and how much I'd miss you."

"We should go," she said suddenly. "Talk to Bishop about my new, undoubtedly lame, job."

"I'm kinda glad," he admitted. "I didn't like you working there." When she got up to walk past him, Coco grabbed her wrist and turned her to stand in front of him. "Other men looking at you, thinking about you," his eyes were full of sadness, "I didn't like it."

Roxy frowned and nodded, climbing on his lap and straddling him. "Sorry. We've been doing this thing for a while I guess I didn't think you cared even when we got serious."

"I cared," he admitted.

A lot of his feelings about her work stemmed from his mother, actually, most of Coco's issues, in general, came from Celia, not that anyone would be shocked to hear it. Although he wasn't near ready to explain it all to Roxy, he wanted her to know he would be happy that she was getting a new job. He never mentioned it before, it was her choice, but now that it was made he wanted to let her know and hoped it made her feel better about it.

"Thank you for not being all Alvarez about it," she kissed him. "I'm sorry it upset you though."

"I'm good, you're all mine now, silver lining, ya know?"

"I've always been all yours," she whispered into his ear. "Before you even knew it."

Coco smiled and kissed her, his hand moving from her neck to her hair. Their kissing intensified but Roxy pulled back.

"Let's get this shit over with first," she whined. "To be continued."

Within that hour, Bishop and Roxy were sitting at a table in the clubhouse, each with a cup of coffee although hers had an extra kick.

"You're doing the right thing, querida," he said supportively. "It's not easy, I know, but it brings peace."

Roxy just nodded. She wasn't going to tell Bishop what Marcus had said, it wasn't worth it. He was old school, he was El Padrino, and he was doing what he thought was best for Mateo, at least that was what she was telling herself.

"Yep. So what's this job?"

Bishop smirked. "Sweet gig, good money," he said, "You'll be Pena's little go to, her private personal assistant."

"The way you said private makes me wonder if this is a sex thing, cause that kind of defeats the purpose; doesn't it?"

"She is hot," he groaned, "But no. You'll funnel the calls from us and Galindo, set appointments with other parties, that kind of shit."

"And when the feds raid her office and destroy her life?" Roxy asked and she was not joking. "I've seen this shit go down, Bish. I've seen ATF agents murder their partners and come after my mom cause of the club. There's a reason I don't get involved in club shit, I don't want to know anything."

Shaking his head, he grabbed her hand and squeezed. "You are protected. Always."

Roxy has seen that protection. She had seen Donna murdered, Piney too, by club members no less. She saw secret deals and shady handshakes, she knew how it went but she was choosing to trust Bishop and Coco and the entire club.

"Okay," she huffed. "When do I start?"

"First you gotta get clothes," he laughed. "Professional shit."

Groaning, she slapped her hands on the table and dramatically rolled her eyes. "The horror. The horror."

"Alright smartass," Bishop chuckled. "Coco's got some cash to get you started. Now get the hell outta here."

Roxy put on a happy face, even for Coco, but inside she wasn't thrilled, she was far from it. Taking a page from her mother's book, she did what her old man wanted her to and what made life easier for them with Alvarez.

As they walked out to his bike she looked at Coco and smiled, genuinely, and kissed him. "I love you, Coco."


	11. Chapter 11

As hard as Coco tried to make their shopping trip fun, Roxy was miserable the whole time. She couldn't buy things she really wanted, she had to look somewhat professional and her usual style was far from that.

"How can I make you smile?" He asked, his big brown eyes looking at her full of melancholy. "You want my get you something? I saw you lookin' at them Nikes."

"You wanna buy me something?" Roxy huffed, throwing the latest bags in the trunk of her car. "Buy me my freedom."

Disappointed at first, Coco suddenly realized that may be an option. If they ever got married she'd be free of Alvarez. It wasn't an immediate fix and not one to take lightly though so he didn't mention it to her.

"I can do dinner," he chuckled.

"I'd love it but I have to get Mateo," she said.

"We can all go," he offered.

Roxy smiled but shook her head. "You're sweet but no. I'm not really in the mood."

"You're gonna like working for Pena," Coco told her. "She's cool."

"I'm sure she is," Roxy huffed. "I'll drop you back at the clubhouse."

Coco was right, Pena was a pretty cool boss and Roxy found that out just three days after meeting with Alvarez. The first week and a half was a lot, and Pena was surprised she knew so little about the other side of her job.

"Bishop said you were raised in an MC," Pena mentioned one day at lunch.

"I was," Roxy nodded, "But when I was little they kept me in the dark and as I got older I didn't want to know," she laughed. "Guess I should have paid more attention."

"I'm sure you had different aspirations," Pena remarked.

"Yeah," Roxy shrugged. "Kind of."

They continued to eat in semi-silence, muffled phones and the sounds of a busy office came through the door but that was it.

"First weekend after your first full week of work. Any plans?"

"Nope," Roxy laughed. "I've never worked an actual full week, I'm kind of beat."

"After our meeting with Galindo you can leave early," Pena offered. "Sometimes I will need you during the weekends but usually it's just Monday to Friday."

"I feel like a big girl," Roxy joked. "You know, or maybe you don't, this wasn't my idea but thank you for this opportunity. I appreciate it."

"My pleasure," she said with a chuckle. "I'm going to assume you're not Bishop's actual niece?" Pena asked, stabbing a carrot from her salad and popping it in her mouth. "When he mentioned this arrangement he said my niece, but he never specified the relationship before when he talked about you."

Roxy smiled a little. "He called me his niece? That's sweet but I'm technically not. I dated his cousin's son and am the mother of the same cousin's grandson. With the clubs and all family is family, blood or not."

"You're lucky to have him looking out for you," she said somberly. "When you were in that legal mess in Arizona he was pretty torn up about it. I tried to help but I was basically powerless."

Although Roxy doubted it was on purpose, Pena was doing one amazing job of showing Roxy how much they cared about her. The teasing and tough love always made her feel like more of a responsibility than anything else.

"Bishop's a good guy," Roxy said quietly. "They all are."

She smiled as she gathered her garbage from lunch and tossed it in the bin. "He's one of the better ones," Pena added.

"I'm gonna grab a cigarette before we leave if that's cool?"

"Sure," Pena waved her off. "It was nice getting to know you, Roxy. Finally."

Roxy nodded, knowing what Pena was getting at and tried to soften her attitude and expression. "I'll work on my whole standoffish attitude."

Pena nodded. "It would certainly make for a more pleasant working environment."

Roxy left the office and hit the parking garage from the back entrance, using the always empty stairway as her get away. She didn't call Coco until she was almost half done her cigarette, she wasn't used to having someone around her at all times and she was dying for some quiet.

"Hey," Coco said quickly as he answered the phone. "How ya doin'?"

"Good," she laughed, "Tired but good. You?"

Coco looked around the yard and shrugged to himself. "Not bad. Want me to come by tonight?"

"If you're not doing anything," she said, "I'd really love that. We have to run to a meeting soon but I'll be home before Mateo is done so you can come over whenever."

"I'mma come over as soon as you get home before you pick up Mateo. I wanna get you alone," he said seductively.

"Johnny," she giggled. "It's been a long week hasn't it?"

"I'm not used to you working so much, full time and shit," he complained.

"Yeah, I miss those lunchtime quickies too."

"You got time for one now?"

Glancing at her phone for a minute, Roxy sighed disappointedly. "Sorry, babe, no time."

"You sound happy," he remarked randomly. "Maybe this was a good shift."

"Yeah maybe," she did agree but she didn't want to admit it, "I'll hit you up when I'm on my way back."

Roxy flicked her cigarette away and jogged back up the stairs to the top floor. She walked into Pena's office to see Miguel, Nestor and another man standing in front of her desk.

"Uh," she mumbled. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing," Pena said darkly. "Our meeting was changed...apparently."

Roxy pulled her phone from her pocket and recorded the conversation. It wasn't something Pena told her to do but Roxy didn't like the tension in the room so she did it as a precautionary measure.

The meeting did not go well. At all. When Galindo and his men left, Nestor winked at Roxy knowingly. He wanted to tell her about Esai, strictly because the tension between him and his men and the Mayans was at an all-time high. Miguel would never approve, in fact, he'd be furious because if their ties to Alvarez, so Nestor kept his mouth shut.

"Are you okay?" Roxy asked Pena. "Why did they just pull out? You've been working on that deal forever!"

"I know," she huffed. "You can go, Roxy. Thank you for your help today."

"Okay," Roxy said awkwardly. "Have a good weekend, Mayor."

"You too," Pena smiled sadly. "I'll see you Monday."

Roxy felt uncomfortable after the meeting so instead of going home, she went right to the yard to see Coco. He was out in the sun, sweat beading on his skin, in a Romero brother's shirt unbuttoned and Roxy was happy to see it. Some girls liked the leather, others loved their tattoos, but there was something about Coco in that green shirt with a backward cap on that Roxy swooned over every damn time.

"Hey," she practically sang.

Coco turned with a surprised look on his face and smiled when he saw her. "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't wanna meet at my place, kind of wanted to be out in the world."

When they finally reached each other, Coco threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled her toward his chest for a kiss.

"Want a beer?" He offered as they strolled toward the office.

"Nah, I'm good," she said. "Pena was saying Bish was all upset when I was locked up. That true?"

He looked at her for a second and slowly nodded. "Course he was, we all were."

"I mean I know you guys were upset and shit but like, she said he was really torn up."

"Yeah," Coco said forcefully.

"Hmm," she sighed. "I dunno, I guess I didn't think everyone would be so upset."

"They were," Chucky said, popping up from behind the counter.

"Christ," Roxy jumped. "Chunky you scared the shit outta me."

"Sorry," he chuckled, "Getting more paper," he explained. "You're family. I'm family," he said proudly, "That's what Bishop said," Chucky added.

"Great, me and Chucky," she joked. "Are we the weird cousins?"

"You're my old lady," Coco said quietly. "Chucky's the weird uncle."

Roxy beamed at him. "I'm still pissed but maybe this was a good idea. I'm happy."

"Me too," he told her. "Thanks for staying, I know you didn't want to."

"I didn't but it was the best thing I coulda done," she told him. Tiptoeing, she whispered in his ear, "Now let's go find somewhere for you to fuck me with that hat and shirt on."

Coco licked his lips and led her out of the office, back through the stacks of metal, to a rusted, totaled out Camaro. Walking around to the passenger side, the door already off the frame, Coco chuckled as she pushed him down to sit and pulled up her skirt.

"Just a quickie," she whispered. "Okay?"

Smirking he nodded and patted his lap. "Sit, Mami."

Roxy straddled him, pressing her lips to his, and began grinding on him until they both heard a loud, and disgusted, groan.

"Ew! Seriously!"

They immediately knew it was Letty. Roxy fell to the ground in her haste and yanked her skirt back down while Coco just shook his head.

"Get outta here," he snapped.

"Gross," Letty grumbled as she hurried back from where she came.

"Jesus Christ," Roxy huffed. "How do we get caught by your teenage daughter and not my toddler?"

"Yo, Teo is respectful," Coco laughed. "Kid knocks on doors and shit. She just busts in everywhere."

"This makes me feel really old," she sighed. "The mood is so dead now."

"I'll meet you back at your place?" He said, standing up and helping her back to her feet.

"Yeah, don't keep me waiting and do not bring her," Roxy laughed. "I love you."

He kissed her sweetly and returned the sentiment. "Love you too, Rox."

Three Weeks Later*

"She's gone," Coco panicked as he stormed into the clubhouse. "Rox is fucking gone. Her shit is all there, osomething happened to her."

Bishop listened as Coco rambled on, detailing their evening and that morning, with growing concern. It was the same as usual, dinner with the kids, bed and off to work. Nothing was different and she was acting normal.

"Letty see anything before she left for school?" Bishop asked. "Did you check with Mateo's class? Is he there?"

Coco shook his head. "Letty said Rox was there when she left for the bus. The bitch at the front desk at Teo's school won't talk to me," he grumbled. "I'm not on the list."

"Who is?" Bishop asked seeing that Tranq was already on the phone making calls.

"They didn't tell me," Coco huffed.

"I am," EZ interrupted. "I pick him up sometimes, all the babysitting, ya know?"

"Go, now," Bishop snapped. "See if he's there and, if he is, you bring him back here. Immediately."

EZ left quickly with Angel and Bishop grabbed Coco, pulling him aside. "You guys been okay? Any fighting like you used to?"

With a deep frown, Coco shook his head. "Nah, since she started with Pena everything's been great. She's happy, Letty's been staying there. We're like a fucked up little family. I don't think she left, Bish. I know she didn't."

Bishop nodded and gave Coco a hug. "We'll find her. We'll bring her home. Come with me to talk to Antonia, maybe she knows something."


	12. Chapter 12

While the rest of the club handled their tasks, Bishop and Coco headed out on what the hoped would be the most informative stops. They never went to Pena's office. Ever. The optics were awful and there was usually no need. That day though there was most definitely a need.

"Bishop," Pena said, her voice heavy with concern. "What are you doing here?"

Bishop and Coco charged into her office and shut the door. "You see Roxy today?"

"No," she looked from Bishop to Coco. "What's wrong?"

"She's gone," Coco said mournfully. "She say anything to you?"

Pena shook her head. "No. Not about leaving. She was looking through the recently listed houses, we were going to stop at one today at lunch."

"Houses?" Bishop asked, his glare on Coco questioningly.

Coco shrugged. "We were trying to find a place big enough for the four of us," he explained, "Rox, me, Letty and Mateo. Just made more sense."

Bishop nodded, a small smile brightening his face slightly. "That's great, Coco."

"Yeah," he huffed. "If we can find her."

"We will," Bishop said forcefully. "Antonia, does she have a work computer?"

"Uh, yeah," Pena said, turning to find the laptop Roxy used, "It's here somewhere." Spotting it in the bookshelf she handed it over to Coco with a huff. "She usually takes it during the week."

Coco didn't like that. He had a thought, a painful, gnawing thought, that she left him but he couldn't pinpoint why he felt that way.

Bishop and Pena leaned over Coco's shoulder as he opened the laptop and checked her history. As previously stated, tons of real estate listings appeared in the drop down. There were other websites too, a few local restaurants and Twitter but nothing that pointed to anything suspicious or dangerous.

Turning to the mayor again, Bishop hoped for something that would point them in the right direction. "You have any problems here? Anyone pissed off?"

Pena shook her head. "I had a tense meeting with Galindo a few weeks ago but we straightened that out."

"Friday?" Coco asked suddenly. "You let her out early after, right?"

"Uh, yeah," Pena said slightly uncertain. "I'm pretty sure that was the day. I'm sorry I can't be of more help."

Coco stormed out and Bishop gave Pena an apologetic look. "If you hear anything let me know."

"I will, you too. I hope she's okay," she said walking him to the door, "Good luck."

Angel waited outside the school while EZ jogged casually up the steps. He hit the buzzer and waved into the little camera but when he got to the office he saw the usual woman wasn't there. EZ hopes this wouldn't complicate anything, it was not the time for extra annoyances.

"I'm looking for a child, he's my nephew," EZ said, reciting the usual line for nosy classmate parents and school staff. "His name is Mateo Teller Alvarez," EZ said calmly despite how ridiculous it all sounded. "I'm just making sure he's here today. Drop off pickup miscommunication," he added nervously.

"And your name?" The woman looked him up and down, not trusting the leather on his back.

"Ezekiel Reyes," he said with a toothy smile. "I pick him up sometimes. His teacher knows me." For added security, and goodwill, he handed her his license.

"His mother called him out," the receptionist said with a frown. "She said he has chicken pox."

"Oh," EZ said with surprise.

"That's why we vaccinate now," she said with disgust. "Poor kiddo."

"She does," he said distractedly. "Weird. Okay. Thank you."

EZ dragged his feet back out the way he came trying to think of a way to confirm Roxy had been the one to call. If it was the usual receptionist EZ could have asked if Roxy sounded okay or prodded for more details but the temp was suspicious the moment he walked in.

"Anything?" Angel asked as EZ made his way down the steps.

"Sub at the desk but she said his mom called him out, kid's got chicken pox," EZ said with inquisitive eyes on the school. "I don't know, Angel. Shit feels weird."

"Tell me about it," Angel huffed. "If we don't find and Bish has to call Alvarez, shit is not gonna be pretty."

"What if she did leave?" EZ asked conspiratorially as he put his helmet and sunglasses back on. "Maybe Alvarez is why she left. Remember she had that shit with Bish last month?"

Angel shook his head. "She woulda told Coco."

EZ nodded. "Yeah, probably. What next?"

"Check in with Bishop, see what he got from Pena, maybe call SAMDINO? Then we hit the street crews, figure out who heard what."

They took off down the street to meet back with the others at the yard and compare notes.

"Boys," Roxy shouted, "Don't go too far!"

"Is he a runner?" Wendy asked, casually coming up behind Roxy.

"Not usually," Roxy told her. "Thanks for this."

"No need to thank us," Wendy said. "It's good to see you and for the boys to get to know each other."

"How are they?" Roxy asked somberly.

"Good, considering," Wendy sighed. "Abel is seeing a therapist, he's doing much better."

"Good," Roxy smiled. "Right after Tara," Roxy whimpered. "He was really going through some shit."

Wendy nodded sadly. "How are you?"

"I don't even know at this point," Roxy admitted. "Is Nero mad? I know the last thing he wants is more MC bullshit in his life."

"He's okay," Wendy said. "Not thrilled to be pulled back in but he's willing to help for you and Mateo. He misses your mom, you know? Having you here reminds him of her."

"Oh yeah," she smiled nostalgically. "God, he loved her more than anyone."

"I was kind of jealous," Wendy admitted with a chuckle. "I never had that."

"Me either, girl," Roxy chuckled.

They watched the Teller cousins play in the distance a little longer, neither of them speaking, until Wendy's curiosity got the best of her.

"You gonna tell us what you're doing up here, Rox?"

Roxy's eyes filled with tears almost instantly. "I shoulda come up here in the first place. Right when it happened. I shoulda left with you guys."

With a tender hand in her shoulder, Wendy tried to comfort Roxy. "Are you in danger?"

"No," she sighed. "I wouldn't come near the boys if I was."

"Then what is it?" Wendy asked more forcefully this time. "Roxy, it's fine that you're here, we have the space, but I think we deserve to know what brought you out here after over two years."

Roxy nodded. "You're right, uh," she swallowed hard and tried to speak without breaking down, "So, Esai didn't walk out on me when I got pregnant."

"Oh honey," Wendy groaned. "He's dead?"

"Did you know?" Roxy asked Wendy furiously.

"No," Wendy said quickly. "But there aren't many other options in that life."

Backing down, Roxy nodded. "True."

"I'm so sorry, Rox," Wendy said. "No one told you?"

"To protect me," she growled. "Can you believe that shit? I've suffered more over the years thinking he left me. At least if I knew he died I could mourn and move on." Roxy broke down and began to cry. "I hated him. Passionately. And the whole time he was just another victim."

Wendy hugged Roxy, an embrace the younger woman actually returned wholeheartedly and allowed her to cry.

"What happened?" Wendy asked softly.

"His father killed him. His own goddamn father. He's been pulling my fucking strings for years because of this and he's the one who did it." Roxy pulled away from Wendy. "If he truly cared about Mateo, he wouldn't have murdered his father."

"Jesus," Wendy hissed. "Why?"

"I don't know exactly," Roxy whimpered. "Club shit. I think Esai made a bad call, fucked up a big move or something. I wasn't given details. Fuck, now I'm almost scared to see Coco. Like if I go there, if I see him, something or someone will come along and take him from me too."

"I don't know what to say," Wendy admitted. "I'm so sorry."

"Why does everyone keep dying?" Roxy asked Wendy with red-rimmed bloodshot eyes. "I can't lose anyone else."

"You'll be fine up here," Nero said as he joined them. "You have my word."

"You didn't tell anyone?" Roxy sniffled.

Nero shook his head. "Not unless you want me to."

Roxy thought about it for a minute and shook her head. "No. They'll race up here. You know they will."

Nero just nodded.

"Take your time," Wendy offered. "Think stuff over."

Roxy hugged Wendy then Nero and wiped her tears. "Thanks. I promise you won't regret it."


	13. Chapter 13

After a few days at the farm with Wendy, Nero and the kids, Roxy was starting to question her decision. She missed Coco, her heart ached, and she knew they were worried. She really had no idea how worried they weshot for holidays etc for the pairings if people want the more time that passed.

"You okay?" Wendy asked, knocking on the door frame before poking her head into the room.

"No," Roxy sighed, "I'm not."

"Who?" Wendy asked knowingly.

"Coco."

"What is it with these MCs and their nicknames?"

Roxy shrugged. "Mateo went through this phase where he was obsessed with that movie Coco. Now I can't stop singing shit from it just because of the name similarity."

"I have a burner," she told Roxy. "You can call real quick. Tell him you're okay."

Shaking her head, Roxy was adamant. "No. I know myself. If I hear his voice I'll break."

"If you don't want to be here, Rox, why are you here?"

"Esai is dead. Long dead. They all knew, Wendy. Every single one of them," Roxy explained sorrowfully. "I feel like an idiot. I'm pissed and I'm hurt and," Roxy broke down. "And I've been hating him for five years for walking out on me and our son but he didn't. I feel so goddamn guilty."

"Rox," Wendy whimpered sitting beside Roxy and putting her arm around her, "I'm sorry."

"Thanks," Roxy huffed. "I get it, I know why they did it but fuck, FUCK, I hate it. I'm sorry. I'm just repeating the same shit over and over. I just can't stop obsessing. I'm so confused now too. I love Coco but I love Esai. The only reason I stopped is because I thought he left me."

"No," Wendy said quickly. "Don't torture yourself. Even if you knew he was dead, what were you going to do, never date again? Go live some celibate life starring in your damn early twenties? Esai is dead and that's awful but Roxy you deserve to be happy."

Roxy inhaled a long, deep breath and nodded. "I guess. I gotta figure out what I'm gonna do."

Wendy's forehead scrunched as she looked at Roxy with confusion. "You mean like go back to Santo Padre or move home?"

"No, like how I'm gonna flip shit on Marcus and tell him he's a goddamn monster."

"Rox. No."

"He's been controlling me for years!" She snapped loudly. "He did this. He did all of this shit, Wendy. He's not god."

"He might as well be," Nero said calmly as he entered the room, "Sorry to interrupt."

"I know he's your boy, or whatever, Nero, but fuck Marcus Alvarez."

"I get what you're feeling, mama," Nero sighed, "But you don't want to confront that man and especially not concerning the death of his son."

"The murder," Roxy snapped. "Esai was murdered by his father. How? How could a person do that? Jax and Tara basically died for those boys, I would die for Mateo in an instant," she cried. "How could he do that?"

Nero shook his head, "I don't know."

"If I had a dick and was patched I'd be able to confront him and fucking kill him myself but now I gotta sit back and just pretend it never happened?"

"Roxanna," Nero said sagely, "You know this is how it is. You've always known this."

"Yeah," she grumbled dismissively.

"Cry, mourn Esai," Wendy advised, "Then you pull your shit together, go home, swallow all your hate and hide it behind that patented Teller smile. You do what you have to do, you find a way to go on, it's what we do."

"Christ," Roxy sobbed, "You sound like my mom."

Wendy pulled Roxy into her arms and held her as she wept. "Shh," she tried to soothe the young woman, "It's okay, let it all out, Rox."

With each passing day, Coco grew more sullen. He'd begged Bishop not to call Alvarez, pleaded with him, but too much time had gone by without a lead or a word from Roxy.

"Coco, you got your eleventh-hour reprieve," Bishop announced.

"What?" He shot up to his feet. "What happened?"

"We got a call," he sighed. "Nero Padilla, he's done some business with Alvarez, he said Roxy and Mateo are safe. They're with her nephews, he said, her brother's ex-wife. Wouldn't say where, though," Bishop scoffed.

"The fucking farm," Coco gasped. "I know where she is. I gotta go, Bish."

"Yeah, go. This shit stays here," he told them as Coco made his way toward the door, "You two," Bishop said to Angel and EZ, "Go with him, watch his back."

Angel and EZ went and struggled to keep up with Coco the whole way. Not only was he speeding but he knew where he was going already. Roxy has told him about the farm, she'd discussed visiting it, but the Reyes brothers were riding blind.

When the sound of Harleys approaching hit Nero's and Wendy's ears, they looked at each other with trepidation.

"Expecting anyone?" Wendy asked him. Nero shook his head and Wendy huffed. "I'll get the boys, take them upstairs."

"Where's Roxy?" Nero asked as she got to her feet.

"Shower," Wendy said, "Hopefully it's a long one."

Nero wasn't sure if the visit was friendly or not or if he'd have to protect Roxy if her views and plans were not in line with whichever M.C. was on its way. To be on the safe side, Nero was armed when he walked out to the porch to await their arrival.

The Mayans parked about a hundred feet from the house, Angel and EZ following at a distance as Coco charged toward Nero.

"Where's Roxy?"

"She know you're coming?" Nero asked.

Coco shook his head. "You Nero?"

"I am."

"I'm not here to fight or take her back," Coco explained. "I just gotta see her."

"How do you know she's even here?" Nero sneered.

"You called Bish, told him she's safe," Coco explained. "She told me about you, about this place. I know my Roxy and I know she's here."

From the second floor, Roxy heard Nero then she heard Coco and her heart stopped. She wrapped her towel around herself tighter and bolted down the steps and put to the porch.

"Coco?" Roxy hollered as her bare feet slapped in the wood of the porch. "What are you doing here?"

"Shit, Rox, I'm making sure you're okay!" He took a few steps closer. "Go put some fucking clothes, on," he said once the happiness of seeing her subsided a bit.

She went down the porch steps and grabbed his hand, pulling him with her as she hurried back into the house to get dressed.

Coco watched her, shamelessly, as she dropped the towel and pulled on a T-shirt and pair of panties.

"What the fuck is going on?" He asked. "You scared the shit out of me, Rox, all of us."

"I know about Esai," he whimpered.

"Fuck," Coco hissed. "How?"

"Doesn't matter," she huffed. "You all knew, you watched me cry over it, bitch about him, and you of all people," Roxy shook her head.

Although Coco wasn't a stranger to guilt, this was a fresh wave and it was crushing. "I'm sorry."

Roxy nodded. "You come up here to bring me back?"

"No," he whimpered. "I came up here to know for sure that you were okay, I had to see it. I had to see you."

"I'm not okay," she shook her head.

"Who told you, Rox?"

"It doesn't matter," she hollered.

"Yes it does," Coco snapped. "This was a club secret, Rox. There are only a few people other than Mayans that knew. We gotta find out who we can't trust."

"Who you can't trust?" She laughed. "Are you kidding me?"

"This was before I knew you, this was Mayan shit, nasty family shit," Coco explained. "I can't apologize for it but you know you can trust me, I proved that."

Roxy shook her head, "I'm not sure if I agree with that statement right now."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I am," she huffed. "I never should have left Charming."

Coco growled. "You're brother knew, he was in on it and Happy fucking did it. You got no problem going back there like they didn't betray you worse than I did?"

"What?" She gasped. "Happy?"

Coco grunted and turned away from her, punching the mirror in the bedroom and sending glass shards everywhere. He was furious. Furious with himself, with Happy and mostly with whoever told Roxy about Esai without divulging who did it.

"Rox," he sighed heavily, seeing her start to unravel. "Roxy."

"No," she snapped.

"I'm sorry."

"I hate you all. Jesus Christ, I fucking hate each fucking man I have ever known...except for Esai. He was the only good one and he was taken. Get out. Now."

"Rox," Coco pleaded.

"GET OUT."

Coco stumbled back, shocked by her fury, and left the room. He wasn't sure how he could possibly fix any of it, or if anyone even could. She was crushed and the trust she had in the Mayans was irrevocably broken.


	14. Chapter 14

Shortie! Sorry! But we're building toward big things, I promise! Xx

Roxy stayed in her room for hours after having shrieked Coco off into oblivion. She assumed he left after seeing her so furious and distraught but he didn't. Coco was nothing if not loyal and absolutely in love with Roxy, although she only knew about his loyalty. Her sobs slowed and she passed out for a few hours having exhausted herself from crying but when she awoke there wasn't that refreshed feeling. It was pitch black now and her chest ached from sobbing while her eyes burned.

As soon as she opened the bedroom door Roxy heard Angel and EZ chatting quietly with Nero. That confirmed her assumptions about Coco enough to make her feel comfortable about joining them.

"Hi," she croaked.

"Hey Rox," Angel said somewhat nervous. "You uh, okay?"

She shook her head. "I am far from okay."

Angel and EZ nodded.

"Teo?"

Nero smiled a little. "Passed out in Coco's lap, we took him up to bed."

"Thank you," she whimpered. "I'm gonna grab a smoke." She winked at EZ as she stole Angel's pack off the table and headed out onto the porch.

There was Coco, leaning on the porch railing with a cigarette between his lips while looking up at the night sky. "It's beautiful," he said as she approached.

"I...I thought you left."

"I was gonna," he shrugged. "You okay?"

"No," she said flatly, "I'm far from okay."

"Who told you?" Coco asked her. "Come on, Rox. I gotta know."

She swallowed hard and lit a cigarette of her own before answer. "Nestor Oceteva."

With a furious expression, Coco finally looked at her. "That douche with the cornrows?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I uh, pissed Galindo off. They knew they couldn't hurt me, not for some minor bullshit, so I guess they decided emotional and mental anguish was better than nothing." Roxy's voice began to crack, "I think killing me would have been less painful overall but fuck, I was scared at first."

Coco rushed to hug her. "I'm sorry."

"I know."

"What did you do?" He asked, suddenly remembering the most important piece of information she'd revealed. "How did you piss him off?"

Roxy took a shaky breath. "They were in to see Pena a while back, like my first or second week, and shit got heated. I recorded the conversation for Pena cause like, uh, that's the smart thing to do. She must have rubbed it in their faces cause the deal is back on and they know about what I did."

"Shit, Rox," he groaned, hugging her again, "You got off lucky."

"Do not say I got lucky," she snapped at him.

Coco frowned but nodded. "I'm sorry, Rox."

"Thought you said you weren't?" She said, giving him some serious side eye.

"I'm not sorry I kept the secret but I'm sorry about what it did to you."

She nodded, figuring that was what he'd say, and found comfort in his predictability. "Do you know where he's buried?" Rox asked Coco sadly.

"Nah," he sighed, "Bish probably does or he could find out."

"Can you ask him?" She whimpered. "I don't care if it's a ditch or whatever. I wanna go."

"I got you," Coco assured her. "Lemme call em'. See what he can do."

"Thank you, Johnny."

Nodding, Coco watched as Roxy dragged her feet back into the house. His heart broke for her, and himself, and despite her current state he wondered if they could ever pull themselves out of it.

Coco walked further out to cal Bishop, he had much more to fall to him about than a burial place for Esai. Nestor telling Roxy the truth about Esai, and Alvarez, was bad, to put it simply. Not only would they have to tell Marcus she was missing but that one of Galindo's men betrayed him.

Calling Bishop, Coco groaned and shook his head. "Dios mío, she's gonna kill me."


	15. Chapter 15

When the sun finally rose after everyone managed to get some sleep, there was a lighter air in the house. Things were still tense but it was miles away from where they were the night before.

"Did you talk to Bish?" Roxy asked Coco when they finally got a moment alone. Again, they were on the porch smoking, watching the nothingness around them and finding peace in it.

He shook his head. "I'm gonna call him, it was too late last night."

Roxy chuckled weakly, "That's kind of cute."

"How you doing?" He asked timidly.

"I think I'm in shock, to be honest," she said casually. "I don't feel anything now."

"Better than that shit from before," he remarked.

Roxy didn't express her differing opinion, she wasn't sure could even find the words to explain it anyway.

"Well, uh, I'm gonna pack some stuff up and we can head out. I think I need to spend some time at home and deal with my shit."

Coco smiled sadly and nodded, a sweet expression on his face as he gazed at her sympathetically. "That sounds good, Rox, I think you need that shit but I can't let you go alone. You know that, right?"

"I know," she kept her grimace hidden behind a smile. "I get it."

Kissing her cheek, Coco finished his cigarette and pulled his phone from his pocket. "We takin' the kid?"

"I don't think so, this ain't exactly a vacation," she shrugged. "If he doesn't want to stay here, though, I'm not going to make him. He doesn't know Nero or Wendy, he'd be so scared if I forced him to stay."

Coco nodded and turned his attention back to calling Bishop, who had just answered his phone. There was a quick update, although nothing new really happened before Coco really got down to the real reason for the call.

"She gave me a name," Coco said darkly. "Nestor, Miguel's head of security."

Bishop grumbled something under his breath before actually addressing Coco. "Why? Had to be something if they'd cross Alvarez like that."

"I don't know details, she doesn't even know, but it was a punishment. Apparently, they didn't like her recording their talks with Pena," Coco said. "You'd gotta ask her for more info though, that's all I know."

"Goddamnit," he snarled, "That job was supposed to keep her out of trouble."

"If she wasn't Mateo's mom, she'd be dead," Coco said, starting to feel the heaviness of the reality. "Only reason they didn't just kill her was 'cause of Alvarez."

"I have to tell him," Bishop groaned. "This is gonna be a load a shit coming down on us, brother."

"I know it," he complained. "Yo, before you go, where'd they put Esai?" Coco asked quietly. He felt as if he were betraying a brother, he wasn't sure why, but none of it felt honorable despite his innocence.

"Shit," Bishop sighed. "I don't know. I'd have to ask him." It was not a topic Bishop wanted to bring up to his cousin at all but especially not such a detail.

"She wants to see him," Coco went on, "Pay her respects and shit."

"Of course she does," Bishop groaned. "Lemme get on it. I'll get back to you."

He understood, he didn't blame her, but he sure wished she mentioned it. It was too noble a request for him to simply deny because of the uncomfortable nature but Bishop wouldn't be happy about it.

When Coco made his way back into the house, Roxy was already talking to Mateo. It was clear from his expression he wasn't thrilled with the idea of staying at the farmhouse without his mother. If anything, Mateo would keep Roxy from losing herself in grief, so Coco was beginning to think maybe Mateo would be the best thing for her.

Within a few hours, Roxy, Mateo, and Coco were in her car heading north, with EZ following behind them on his bike. Coco hated to leave his at the farm but he couldn't say no to Roxy's pouty lips and tear-stained cheeks.

"I appreciate it," she said about twenty minutes into the trip, "I don't think I could concentrate on the ride, you know?"

"Nah, it's good," he shrugged. "And you sure we got a place to stay?"

Roxy nodded. "My mom's house went to me, I was the uh, next living relative but I just left it. I'm pretty sure Tig's been there, maybe Chibs? I don't know but it's big enough even if they are."

"You just gonna go back to town and take over?" He asked, sneaking a quick peek at her as he drove

Roxy smiled, "It's what my mother would have done, it's how she raised me. I guess I'm more like Gem than I ever wanted to be."

Coco woke Roxy up once he parked in Gemma and Clay's driveway. She squinted, looking around slowly as the sun burned her sleepy eyes. She was home and immediately hit with suffocating sorrow.

"Wow," she whispered. "No...no one's been here. Look at it."

"You want to go in alone for a second?" Coco offered, seeing Mateo was still sleeping in his car seat.

Roxy nodded. "Yeah, that would be great. Thank you."

He watched her approach the house cautiously, her hands shaking more with each step until she pulled her keys out and disappeared through the door.

The first thing she smelled was dust, an old stuffy smell, then cigarette smoke. She realized it really did cling to everything. As she moved further into the house, crying harder as she was inundated with memory after memory, she came to the hallway. Jax's room, her room, and at the very end of the hall, her mother's. By the time Gemma died and Roxy left, Clay had been long gone and when Roxy went into the master bedroom there wasn't a single piece of him left in that room.

"Mommy," Roxy sobbed.

SItting at her mother's vanity, Roxy looked at herself in the mirror. "What happened to my family," she whispered. Carefully, she counted everyone she lost, even Clay and Juice and the ones that had betrayed or otherwise harmed someone she loved.

"Eighteen," she inhaled sharply. The number was likely wrong, so many people had died she literally could not keep count, but it didn't matter. The impact was all the same.

There was a quiet knock and Roxy turned to see EZ, not Coco, in the doorway. She sniffled and quickly wiped her tears away.

"Sorry," she said quietly.

"Hey, don't apologize," he said in a whisper. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said hurriedly.

"I just," he cleared his throat, "I know how it feels. You know?"

Roxy nodded. "Yeah I guess you do," she whimpered.

He stepped into the room. "Was this her bedroom?"

Roxy nodded. "Yep. I swear I can still smell her perfume in here."

Seeing her breaking down, EZ rushed to her side as Roxy's cries became hysterical again. "Hey, hey," he said quietly. "It's alright, Rox."

"I miss her so much," she sobbed. "I can't do anything. I can't bring her back, or Esai, or my dad, or my stupid fucking brother. I'm so pissed at him still, he did this, all of this, but I'd still have him back if I could."

He held her against this chest, one hand rubbing her arm in an attempt to comfort her and listened to her rambling. As much as his mother's murder hurt EZ, stayed with him, he couldn't imagine if Angel had been the one to do it.

"I'm sorry, Rox," he said awkwardly. "I don't know what I would do if I lost Angel," EZ commiserated. "Even if he did the shit your brother did, he'd have his reasons like Jax did, I couldn't hate him."

"Thank you," she said, pulling away and looking him in the eye. "No one understood. I'm not patched, it's not all about club business and shit. Those assholes accepted it, they knew it had to be, or they told themselves it had to be."

"You get uhh, conditioned I guess," EZ mused. "Your mom, she killed your sister-in-law?"

Roxy nodded. "You heard the story I guess," she said ruefully. "She killed Tara, made up a shitty lie and people died. Fuck, I can't pretend like this is on her. She fucked up, she went off, but it started with Donna and just kept going." Roxy flicked her finger as if Donna's death was the first domino and after that, the bodies just kept dropping.

"Were you close?" EZ asked.

"Me and mom or Tara?"

"Both," he shrugged.

"Very," Roxy smiled. "I mean shit, she's my mom ya know. I always thought Tara was awesome, the way she hated my mom and stood up to her. I wish I could have been like that sometimes. I thought Jax was the be all end all though and he loved her, so I guess no matter what I would have liked her."

"Older brothers," EZ smirked. "I thought Angel was so cool."

"I guess we're both wrong about our brothers," she joked. "I appreciate you checking on me," her chin trembled, "It's really nice not to know you get it. Not that, like, I'm happy you went through that, I just mean-"

"I know what you mean," he said sweetly. EZ wiped a tear from her chin. "You okay now?"

Roxy swore she wasn't purposely moving closer to EZ but there she was, suddenly inches from his face, and he wasn't moving away. Her breath caught in her throat as she gazed up at him, feeling her chest tighten, she knew she was dangerously close to making a mistake.

"I'm good," she said suddenly.

Getting up from the vanity bench, Roxy grabbed a framed photo from the dresser and handed it to EZ. "This is everyone before things went to shit." She sat beside him again, but with more space this time, and pointed everyone out one by one. "Tig, Bobby, Juice who sold out my brother, and Happy, and behind Hap is-"

"Wait, who is that?" He asked, his mind replaying the first time he ever saw that face over and over, twisting EZ's stomach up.

"Him?" She pointed to Happy's face. "That's Happy, he uhh, we have a complicated history."

"Yeah, I get that," he said, his eyes focusing so hard on the photo he could have bore holes through the paper. "He...he killed Esai?"

"Mm-hmm," she couldn't even say it. "Fucking lying asshole, after everything, he's just a fucking liar. Everyone lied to me, even you assholes, but him, I thought he'd have the balls and courage to tell me."

"He's a fucking coward," EZ practically snarled. Any man who would kill an older woman, for no reason, was at best a coward and, in EZ's head, they'd be dead soon one way or the other.

Roxy nodded. "I get not telling me at first but after everything between us," she shook her head.

They both heard Mateo's cries as Coco carried him into the house. Roxy hurried out of the room to comfort her son, leaving EZ with the photo. He couldn't take his eyes off Happy. His mind was racing, jumping from rage to disbelief then fear and confusion. There was much more risk, too many strings, and club ties now. Feeling the same pull and connection Roxy had meant that even though he didn't know what he could do, he knew who he could talk to.


	16. Chapter 16

With Mateo settled in Jax's childhood bedroom and Coco out in the backyard on the phone with Bishop, EZ and Roxy sat at the kitchen table quietly.

She wondered if he was regretting how close they came to kissing or if he possibly regretted not kissing her when he had the chance. She had no idea he was thinking about Happy, obsessing was more like that.

After some time, Roxy eyed him, her beer bottle lingering on her lips, and cracked a smile when he finally met her stare.

"What?" He asked, looking at her with wide eyes.

"That shit earlier," she shrugged, "Just thinking about it."

"I'm sorry if I read that wrong," he said quickly. "My head is kind of noisy,

Roxy shook her head. "No. I was actually wondering if I was wrong but I guess we both felt it."

"Yeah, I definitely did."

"Good thing we didn't make a nasty mistake," she said.

"Yeah," he said unconvincingly.

"How long?" She asked him boldly.

He smiled a little. "A while. I didn't think it was much until you got locked up and shit got tense with Alvarez."

Roxy nodded, understanding now why he was always happy to babysit and got along so well. "No offense but I don't think I ever realized it," she laughed. "You're cute and you're good with Teo but I was wrapped up."

"I noticed," he nodded.

"I'm gonna run to the store in a little bit," she said suddenly. "I'll have to feed Mateo in the morning and I'm sure you two will want some breakfast too."

EZ hesitated, unsure if Coco would want her going alone or not. "Want me to go? Just to keep an eye on you."

"I know this town like the back of my hand. If anyone needs protection it's you and Coco," she laughed. "But if you want anything specific, let me know."

Roxy winked at him and disappeared into the hallway. While she was lost in the closet, digging through her mother's belongings, EZ was lost in his own thoughts, which now included his feelings for Roxy. Hearing a thump and clatter from the hall, EZ jumped up and found Roxy on her knees throwing odds and ends back into a box.

"You okay?"

"Fine," she huffed. "Whoever packed his shit up did a terrible job."

EZ dropped to the floor beside her to help with the mess when he saw a hatbox, opened, with countless guns inside.

"What were you looking for?"

Seeing that he found the box, Roxy grabbed a thick envelope. "Pictures," she explained. "I don't have many so I wanted to steal some for when I go back."

"Why did you really come back?"

"Here?"

"Yeah," EZ grabbed her hands. "Roxy you can't go after Happy or Alvarez."

"I'm not," she snapped.

"Then why are you acting like an alien?"

She glared at him. "Sorry if I'm not being myself, E, I've had a rough week."

"Being here is messing with your head," he told her. "Every time I go to my dad's shop I see my mom, lying there, face down, dead. It's been 8 years for me and I still miss her every damn day. It's only been two for you."

"Almost three now," she corrected him. "You think Coco or Bish told anyone we're up here?"

EZ shook his head. "I don't know."

"You're right. I want to kill Happy, and I'm going to," she said in a cold, dark tone. "He's an asshole. He's a monster. He knew I was pregnant, he knew I loved Esai but he did it, for the club, then didn't even have the balls to tell me."

"I can't let you do that," EZ said hurriedly. "They will kill you, Rox. You won't even get the jump, Happy would kill you before you even got the chance."

"It's all I know, it's practically every club's unspoken motto," she scoffed. "You hurt those who hurt you."

"Don't make me do this," EZ pleaded with her. "Don't make me tell Coco."

"Where you at?" Coco's voice sounded through the house.

"Hallway," EZ hollered back.

Roxy glared at him. "Please don't."

"Promise me you won't until we talk," EZ said forcefully.

"What happened?" Coco asked as he laid eyes on them on the floor of the hallway.

"I was looking for something, a box came down," she sniffled. "I'm fine."

"Back up, prospect," Coco said to EZ.

When he first saw the hatbox he saw the guns, all six. EZ did as he was told and Coco moved in to help Roxy off the floor. When she stood, forcing the box back into the closet, he saw there was only five.

"Why don't you get some sleep? You been up, you look like shit," Coco said.

"Thanks," she laughed, knowing it was just Coco's way. "I gotta go to the store," she sighed. "Need anything?"

"Whatever you get is fine," he said casually. "I'll go with you. Check out this shitty town."

"No," she said, "I need the time to clear my head."

Coco looked at her and nodded. "Alright. Be careful."

"You really gonna let her go alone?" EZ asked when she disappeared to grab her shoes. "Doesn't this all feel tense after how we left things with SAMCRO?"

He nodded, "Oh, I'm gonna go. She's just not gonna know about it."

EZ nodded. "Babysitting duty?"

"As usual," Coco laughed, "Least he's sleeping. Keys," he held out his hand to EZ, "Before she goes and I lose her."

After a trip to the store and a late night snack with Coco, Roxy slipped out of her mother's house and into her car. The dash clock read 3:07 am as she turned the key, her stomach churning, and headed toward the cemetery. Esai wasn't there but her mother, father, brothers, Tara, and Opie were. Those six people were Roxanna's family, the ones she loved most in the world, and she wanted to see them.

As expected, EZ followed her. Roxy knew he would, after their tense conversation, and she didn't stop him. In fact, she waved at him as he searched the gravestones for her.

"Whiskey?" She said, offering him the bottle, as he approached her.

"One of us needs to be sober," he said jokingly, watching her take a swig. "How'd you know?"

"I'm not dumb," she laughed. "I've been followed my whole life. I knew you'd be keeping an eye on me."

"Who are we visiting?" He asked gesturing to the stone she was leaning against.

"My Dad," she smiled sadly. "I was really young when he died, I don't have too many memories of him, but he started The Sons of Anarchy."

"Sound like your whole family is defined by the club," EZ mused.

"That about sums up the Tellers," she said regretfully. Taking a swing from the bottle, Roxy grabbed EZ's hand and pulled him with her as she stood up. "Come on, meet the rest of my family."

"Okay," he said awkwardly.

"That was my dad, John," she said, pulling him with her. They walked a good while, the white memorial stones disappearing behind them as they got further from the veteran's memorial section. Roxy stopped and pointed to a large ornate stone, "Gemma Teller Morrow, my mother."

"The one and only," he remarked. "At least that's how you make it sound."

"Oh yeah, she was one of a goddamn kind."

"She passed that onto you, I think."

Roxy shrugged, seeing the good and the bad in that statement before pulling him a few feet. "And this is my brother Thomas. He died of a congenital heart defect," she spoke somberly. "It happened before my dad so," she shrugged. "I don't really remember him either."

EZ followed her some more, gripping her hand tighter as they walked and hoped she'd get something from this. It was always clear she was hurting but never more than at that moment.

"This is Opie," she patted the headstone. "He and Jax were best friends, he was like a brother to us. He died in prison," she swallowed hard, "For the club."

"Rox, I'm," he was cut off immediately as she began to speak again.

"It's fine. This is Donna," she gestured to the stone beside Opie's. She died a couple years before him, killed by a Son actually, they thought she was him."

"What the fuck," EZ huffed. "This is fucked up."

"I know," she said. "There's a few more."

"I don't want to do this if it's going to upset you," EZ said.

"Oh I'm already upset," she scoffed. "And here are Jax and Tara," Roxy presented the plots to EZ. "She was killed by my mother and he drove into a semi after shooting Gemma in the back of the head."

"For the club?" EZ asked with exasperation.

"Actually yes," Roxy huffed. "You should leave. Try to get the life you had back because this M.C. shit is nothing but lies and blood."

"No offense but I think SAMCRO is exponentially worse than we are." He shook his head. "Besides, I can't, not right now."

"That's what I said," she whinnied. "I couldn't be alone. I didn't have the money or the support but I gotta do it. I gotta go."

"Before or after you kill Happy?"

"After," she said matter-of-factly. "I won't live like this and I won't let Mateo wear a goddamn kutte. Tara died trying to save my nephews from this shit, she was terrified for them."

"You won't get that far," he said. "You said she was killed trying to do what you're doing. What makes you think you'll get outta here alive?"

"Gotta try," she shrugged. "But not yet, gotta make a stop, I guess revenge is in my blood."

EZ grabbed her shoulders as she tried to turn and walk away. "My mom was killed. I looked for him, I was obsessed for years, and I know who did it. I saw his face. That revenge, that obsession landed me in jail, it ruined my life, Rox. Please, he's not worth it."

"So if the person who killed your mom was right here, after prison and everything, you'd let him walk away?"

"No, but I wouldn't kill him."

"You gotta do what's right for you," she huffed.

"Roxy, I finally put a name to a face I've stared at in my head for 8 years. I saw him, with you, at your mom's."

Her face twisted up. "Who? A Son?"

"A Son," he nodded. "Please. There's gotta be a way to deal with this that keeps you breathing."

"Who?" She asked more forcefully this time. "Was it Happy?"

EZ exhaled the deep breath he'd been holding and nodded. "Please, Roxy, I'm trusting you."

"He killed your m-mother?" She whimpered. "She was a fucking old woman," Roxy snapped. "No," she shook her head. As much as she wanted to believe Happy wouldn't, she knew he would and he could and if EZ saw him she knew he wouldn't forget that face.

"Roxy, I saw him. He saw me," EZ said seriously. "I know who it was. I know it was him."

Breaking down, Roxy fell into EZ's chest. "I don't even know what's going on anymore. My life is in fucking ruins, Ezekiel."

"I'm sorry," he said, holding her. "I didn't want to make this harder on you."

"I'm fucking spiraling," she sobbed.

"Let me take you back," he offered.

Roxy nodded and let him lead her back to the car. She leaned against the passenger side door and attempted to compose herself.

"I'm sorry," she cried, "I'm not usually such a psycho."

He laughed a little. "You've held it together for a while actually. I thought you were pretty solid, had a place and you were taking care of your son, I'm impressed. Somethings are too much. Can't balance it all forever."

Roxy pushed herself off the car door and kissed him, on a whim, neither really prepared or expecting it. EZ wrapped his strong arms around her waist and held her tight, kissing her back fervently.

"We should go," she said breathlessly. "I don't want to get hot and heavy by my brother's grave."

"Shit," he laughed, "Yeah."

"I like you," she admitted. "I think we're more alike than I realized, even in ways I can't exactly pinpoint."

EZ smiled bashfully as he walked toward his bike. "I think so too," he admitted.

"But I'm still doing this," she said, shoving him back toward the ground and jumping in her car.

Roxy sped away, getting a solid two minutes on EZ, and with the added bonus of knowing the area, she made it to Happy's without him on her tail. Taking the gun she'd stolen from her mother's closet and hidden in her glovebox, Roxy got out of the car and crept around the side of Happy's house. Taking a shaky breath, she checked the back windows, finding one unlocked beside the kitchen sink.

"Alright. Don't fuck this up, Teller."


	17. Chapter 17

Roxy slithered in and somersaulted from the counter onto the floor less than gracefully. She clambered to her feet and moved from the kitchen toward the hall quietly. She remembered the layout of the house well, creeping along the wall, but there was something new she wasn't expecting. As she turned the corner, she felt a strong hand gripping her neck and slamming her against the wall. It was Happy, she knew immediately, and at that moment Roxy knew she was going to die.

"Drop the gun," he growled through the darkness.

"No," she croaked out, holding her pistol tight in her hand. "You killed him."

"That pussy Esai? Yeah," he said coolly, "I did."

Roxy began to cry. "You fucking lied to me, Hap."

"What are you doing here?" He asked her, ignoring her previous statement. "You think you were gonna kill me?"

"Isn't that what we do?"

"Not you," he said. "You always forget you're not a member of any goddamn MC," Happy growled.

Roxy kneed him in the groin, weakening his grip, and managed to free herself. Stumbling back, she raised her gun and aimed it at him.

"What did he do?" She asked, coughing a little.

"Botched a hit," Happy growled. "Almost got Clay killed."

"Small loss," she hissed.

"Not at the time," he told her. "Jax wanted him dead, Alvarez agreed, so I did it."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She whimpered.

Happy shrugged. "Didn't want to do that to you, kid."

"You're a coward," she cried. "I cried to you, Hap. You helped me with Mateo, with money, you fucking took care of me."

Happy didn't look at her.

"You didn't really care. You felt guilty."

"Both," he admitted. "If you're gonna shoot me, do it."

"What?" She drew her head back.

"Fucking do it," he said slamming his fist against his sternum.

Seeing her frozen, Happy faked her out, as if he were going to attack. In a panic she pulled the trigger hitting him in the shoulder.

"Oh my god," she sobbed. "Ar-are you okay?"

When she stepped closer, Happy grabbed her by the throat again. Roxy tried to lunge, wriggling and pushing to free herself, but Happy only gripped her throat tighter. She clawed at his hand, unable to breathe now, but he didn't loosen his grip. When she opened her mouth to attempt to plead with him, nothing came out but a weak breathless gasp.

As her body began to go limp there was another thud from the kitchen. Happy let her go, Roxy's body sliding down the wall and crumbling on the floor, and took her gun to go investigate the sound. This time, he was one caught in a dangerous position. Still on the floor, EZ sat with his gun on Happy.

"It's you," he said knowingly.

"Where's Roxy?"

Happy nodded toward the hall. "Might want to go check if she's breathing." It was a empty threat, Happy knew she was still alive, but he wanted to get the upper hand and it worked.

EZ scrambled to Roxy's side and checked her pulse. "What did you do?"

"She came in here trying to kill me," Happy shrugged.

"Rox," EZ said softly, gripping her shoulders. "Roxy come on."

Happy opened his mouth to make another remark when the roar of countless bikes hit their ears. Chibs and Tig pounded on the door, "Hap," Chibs called out warningly.

Happy opened the door and immediately gestured to Roxy. "I'm fine," he gestured to his shoulder. "She's alive and she knows," Happy grumbled as Tig went to check on her.

"Aye, Bishop called when they found her with Nero," Chibs explained. "And again when her old man woke up and found her gone." Moving toward the hallway, Chibs looked over EZ's shoulder. "She okay?"

"She's breathing," he said darkly. "He almost killed her."

"You think she broke in here to talk to me?" Happy growled.

"I think you could have protected yourself without almost killing her, " EZ snarled.

"The Mayans are coming," Chibs told them. "We'll figure this shite out in the daylight but this," he gestured to Roxy, "This is bad."

It was almost noon when the Mayans descended upon Charming. They went to Gemma's, using it as a flophouse and makeshift clubhouse, finding Coco and EZ huddled at the kitchen table.

"How is she?" Bishop asked after everyone had greeted each other.

"Upset," Coco said simply.

"She's pissed," EZ elaborated, "And scared."

"Bish," Coco said urgently, "He almost killed her."

"She broke into his house, Coco," Tranq reminded him as if he forgot, "She was going to do the same him."

"That's bullshit," EZ said quickly.

"This doesn't concern you," Bishop said, jabbing his finger in EZ's chest. "You should have brought her right back, not taken some dead relative stroll and let her slip away."

EZ nodded, bowing out, and let the rest of them continue the discussion.

"They're not going to hurt her," Bishop assured Coco, "But this shit is on us."

"What are they saying?" Roxy asked quietly as she approached EZ who stood awkwardly between the kitchen and the living room.

"That I fucked up," he huffed, "And that they won't let any Son hurt you."

"I think I made a mistake, E," she whimpered.

"You did," he said, turning to her. His face twisted up when he saw the extent of her bruises. "Shit," his hands ran along her neck. "Does it hurt?"

She nodded. "I deserved it."

"You've never been a martyr, don't start now," he chided.

"Wanna take another hit for me?" She asked sadly.

"No," he snapped. "What are you planning?"

"I want to talk to them," she explained. "This isn't a Mayan issue, this is a Sons issue. Only the Sons."

"I'm not letting you sneak out," he said firmly. "You wanna do that, you go talk to Bishop yourself."

"Fine," she huffed. "I will."

When Roxy stepped into the kitchen the men went silent. Bishop looked at her and shook his head. "Querida," he said in a disappointed tone as he went to hug her. "You fucked up."

"I know," she sighed. "I'm sorry."

"What's your next move?" He asked her knowingly.

Roxy swallowed slowly and shrugged. "The truth. All I wanted to do was get away from the legacy of the Tellers, the lies, the violence and the bullshit. Well, look at me now," she rolled her eyes. "Can you take me to the clubhouse?"

Bishop seemed surprised but nodded. "Me and Tranq," he told her.

"Yo, Bish," Coco spoke up.

"You idiots stay here," Bishop growled at Coco. "You've done enough, we don't need your help."

Roxy turned to Coco with a frown. "I'm sorry."

"You coulda told me," he said with annoyance. "You fucked me over, Rox."

"I know," she shook her head. "I didn't mean to get you in trouble."

Coco nodded, "I know. Just clear your shit up then we'll figure it out."

"Let's go," Bish said harshly. "I want to get this over with and get the hell out of here."


	18. Chapter 18

On the back of Bishop's bike, Roxy cleared her head and tried to practice what she'd say when she got the clubhouse but her mind was too loud. When they pulled onto the lot Roxy immediately began to cry tiny, silent tears. She hadn't been there in years but the time and distance did nothing to numb her feelings.

"You good, preciosa?" Bishop asked as she climbed off his bike.

Roxy nodded. "I mean, as good as I can be," she shrugged. "You guys don't have to come in," she said looking at Bishop and Tranq.

"We're coming in," Tranq said authoritatively. "He almost choked you out, Rox," he reminded her.

Her body visibly relaxed as Bishop put his arm around her. "You were wrong and you're an idiot but we're not going to let anything happen to you."

Roxy felt fresh tears burn her eyes. "I've had too many father figures in my life but I think you're the best."

"Don't put that pressure on me," he chuckled. "You know what you're going to say?"

"Not really," she shrugged, pulling open the door to the clubhouse, "But I'll figure it out."

As expected, the Sons were all gathered in chapel but as soon as the Mayans rolled up they knew about it. By the time Roxy, Bishop and Tranq walked in the Sons were moving out into the bar area.

"Can we talk?" Roxy asked Happy, ignoring everyone else.

Happy nodded and gestured toward the hall. With a quick look back at Bishop and Tranq, Roxy followed as Happy headed toward the apartment.

"We're just here for her," Bishop told Chibs. "We got no issue with SAMCRO."

Chibs nodded and shook Bishop's hand, "Aye, I think she's our problem too."

Neither Happy nor Roxy spoke until the apartment door shut. She was the first to attempt to start the conversation.

"Is it bad?" She asked, pointing to his arm.

Happy shrugged. "Had worse."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?" He asked her skeptically.

She huffed. "I mean, I am but I'm not."

"Yeah, I thought so. Same arm as your brother's." Happy told her, showing her the scar from when Jax shot him two years before.

Swallowing hard, she nodded. "I know you don't care and you're not looking for forgiveness but I will never forgive you for killing Esai and especially for not telling me."

"I figured," he said. Happy didn't tell her she was right about forgiveness, it would only hurt her. "We're good in my book, kid."

Roxy scoffed, "Shocking. I tried to kill you and you're cool with it?"

"You were right," he shrugged. "It's what we do. Fuck, Jax killed Gem because of Tara."

"Don't remind me," she huffed. "I'm not okay with this," Roxy showed him the bruises along her neck.

"You shot me."

"You didn't need to do that," she snapped.

"If you were anyone else you'd be dead right now," he said angrily. "Don't play with me."

Her body tensed but she didn't go back knowing he was right, she was lucky to be alive. "Sons and Mayans? They good?"

Happy nodded. "We talked about it, no point ruining that over a problem we created."

"Good," she said with a nod. "I appreciate it."

"We done?" He asked with annoyance.

"Christ, Hap," she huffed.

"What?"

"Talk to me," she whimpered. "What should I do?"

"Go home," he said quickly.

"Aren't I home now?"

Happy shook his head. "If you gotta ask then this ain't your home."

"Happy," she sobbed. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"Do what your brother wanted you to," he advised trying to distance himself from the extreme emotions she was feeling. "All Jax wanted was for you and the kids to be safe and far away from Charming."

"Guess he wouldn't want me to be a Mayan's old lady, huh?"

Happy shrugged. "How much you gonna let a dead man dictate your life? You wanna honor him? Do the one thing you knew he wanted."

"I-I'm not really sorry I shot you," she admitted, "Like at all."

"Good, ya shouldn't be."

There was a knock at the door. "Rox?" Bishop called her name. "You alive?"

"Yeah," she sighed heavily. "I'm alive."

"Anyone hurt?"

"Nah, we're good," Happy said gruffly. Looking at Roxy he smiled a little. "Get the fuck outta here. Go home."

Roxy nodded and they hugged briefly before he spoke again.

"If you ever need anything, Rox, I got you."

"But?"

"But I'm backing off," he chuckled. "You can clearly take care of yourself."

Roxy smirked and nodded. "Clearly," she said sarcastically.

When Roxy strolled out of the apartment alone she found SAMCRO had warmed up to the Mayans, and that Marcus had arrived.

"Fuck," she gasped, calling attention to herself.

"Roxanna," Alvarez said ominously.

"Marcus," her voice shook. "I shot Happy. I know about Esai."

"I'm sorry, mija," he said sadly. "Sorrier than you know."

A few Sons wandered away from the emotional and intimate conversation but audience or not they didn't care.

"Yeah, I don't know," she said accusingly still shocked that he could have allowed it to happen. "From now on I'm out of your purview. You will always be Mateo's grandfather but dictating my life ends now."

"Primo, Rox," Bishop said quietly, "I think this is a conversation for another time."

"She's right," Marcus conceded albeit unhappily.

"And we all move on," Chibs added. "No more assassination attempts, aye poppet?"

Roxy nodded, "Yeah, sure."

"Can we get you outta here before shit goes south?" Bishop asked her quietly. "It's kind of a fucking theme lately."

"Bye," she said to the group of Sons with a heavy sigh.

Turning around she swiftly left the clubhouse with Tranq and Bishop close behind. Roxy wasn't sure if she'd ever return, it felt much more final than the last time and she felt less sorrow. At that moment, she was content with effectively ending her association with the Sons of Anarchy, she just hoped the feeling would last.

When she returned to her childhood home, Roxy found EZ in the yard with Mateo. He looked up and smiled with relief to see she hadn't been harmed.

"Everything go well?"

Roxy nodded as she greeted her son with a long overdue hug. "Hey bud," she whispered to him before turning her attention back to EZ. "I think? It was all very anticlimactic. I think everyone kind of had some realizations."

"That's better than more blood."

"Got that right," she huffed. "Where's Coco?"

"He's getting ready to leave," EZ said anxiously. "He's pretty pissed."

Her brows furrowed. "About?"

"Really?" EZ huffed.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Me?"

"Yeah. He's uh, he's not wrong, Rox."

She drew her head back. "No?"

"No," he shook his head. "Sorry."

With a groan, she told Mateo to go play and headed into the house. Coco was in her bedroom, gathering the few things he'd brought with him.

"Hey," she tried to sound casual. "You going?"

"Yeah," he didn't look up.

"Coco," she sighed but when he didn't acknowledge her she pushed harder. "Johnny."

"What?" His head snapped up and finally looked at her. "What now, Rox?"

"What did I do?" She barked at him.

"You fucked me over," he sneered. "You bailed. You went behind my back and now I got Bish all over me cause you snuck out, left me with YOUR kid so you could do some dangerous shit you knew was gonna go bad!"

Roxy's breath caught in her throat, she didn't know what to say and she could barely comprehend what was happening.

"I-I didn't know it was gonna go bad," she said sheepishly, "And I didn't purposely fuck you over."

"Yes, you did," he hissed. "I been nothing but loyal, I been good to you, better than I ever been to a girl. This is why shit don't work," he snapped.

"Coco," she said nervously. "I-I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "We never shoulda done this, forced shit between us."

"This isn't forced," she said defensively.

"Maybe not," he shrugged, "But I'm done with your selfish shit. I did everything for you, I woulda done anything. What did I get? You split on me without saying a word, scared the fuck outta me, then you lie and use me for this revenge shit."

"P-please, Johnny," she whimpered.

Coco shook his head. "I'm out, Rox. You can live with all your fucking ghosts."


	19. Chapter 19

After Coco stormed out, Bishop and EZ replaced him, and while only one was confused both had looks of sympathy on their faces.

"What happened?" Bishop asked her.

"I'm a bitch," she said sadly. "Literally, I'm fucking crazy and I messed up."

EZ gave her a sad smile, knowing it wasn't easy to admit her faults, but he let Bishop speak.

"I don't think any of us are completely sane," he said with a frown. "You guys will figure it out. What's your next move?"

Roxy shook her head. "Empty out this house, sell it probably, then go home."

"Santo Padre?" Bishop asked with a smile. Roxy nodded and he nodded. "Good. Pena might not take you back but we could always use you."

"Thanks," she laughed. "Speaking of using, could I borrow the prospect? I can't do this shit alone and obviously, Coco isn't an option."

Bishop looked back at EZ who nodded and gave him a little shrug.

"Just don't keep him for too long," Bishop joked.

The next morning EZ was up early, much earlier than Roxy, and when she made her way to the kitchen she found coffee on and her mother's pots and pans lined up along the counter.

"I got started," he explained.

"Thanks," she grumbled sleepily. "I'm getting rid of all of it."

"You'll get good money for a lot of this stuff," he told her.

She nodded, fixing herself a cup of coffee. "I was thinking of donating actually."

"Rox," he chuckled, "I get that it's the nice thing to do but uh, financially you think you can pass all that up?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I got by without it before."

"Just a suggestion," he shrugged. Watching her expression as she leisurely sipped her coffee, EZ sat at the table. "You mad I started?"

"Nope."

"Then what's wrong?"

She looked over her mug at him. "Really? Coco left me, the whole gigantic shit storm with Happy and SAMCRO, and I'm stuck here with you after I kissed you, behind Coco's back, oh and Happy killed your mom and you have yet to say shit to me about what it is you're planning."

"I don't know," he admitted shamefully.

"Don't you want to kill him?"

EZ nodded slowly. "I want to."

"But...?" She asked expectantly.

"It's a little complicated," he huffed. "Mayans and Sons are good, we get guns from them, SANDINO is close, they've saved our asses more than once," EZ shook his head. "I can't just kill him."

Roxy leaned back against the chair and nodded. "I'm sorry," she whimpered. "I can't imagine, E."

"He ruined my life," EZ huffed. "He murdered my mom, I lost everything," he hung his head. "And he's here, shit rolling off his back."

"Ain't that always the way, though?" She scoffed.

"I guess," he lamented. "I don't even know if I'll tell Angel."

Roxy cringed. "Oh, that would be bad, like worse than what I did bad."

"Probably," EZ agreed. "Where do you want to start?"

Looking at him, Roxy tried to decide if he was truly done talking. Unable to read him at that moment, she simply asked. "Anything else on your mind, Prospect?"

"No," he said, looking straight into her eyes. "Nothing."

Roxy nodded and sipped her coffee again. "Well, like I said, everything in here I'm selling or donating," she explained. "Clay's office has a shit ton of important papers I need to find so, let's deal with that mess first, it'll be the annoying apart."

"Should I just clear out everything that isn't paperwork?"

"Yep," she yawned. "I'll be in soon. I swear."

She wasn't. After heading up to put her shoes on and try to call Coco, who didn't answer, Roxy fell back to sleep. Finally, she joined EZ again a few hours later.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I'm emotionally tapped out. I sleep to cope."

"At least one of us is sleeping," he said regretfully. "I did some looking around, there are places that will move this shit for you," he told her. "You basically have them come in, they'll pay you a fee for everything as then try to resell or refurbish it."

Her eyes lit up. "Oh, that's a good idea."

"I'll text you the place," EZ said as he grabbed his phone. "There's a lot of manuals and pictures, warranty paperwork too."

Roxy laughed at that. "For an outlaw king and queen, they were pretty domestic, huh?"

"Kind of," EZ chuckled. "You guys were a cute family," he remarked, showing her a photo of Roxy, Jax, JT, and Gemma.

"God," she sighed, "We were."

"Alright," he clapped his hands. "Let's get back to work."

"I set Mateo up with his tablet so hopefully he won't complain about being bored any time soon."

They both chuckled a little and set to work in the office with music playing low to fill the silence. Roxy would look at him every few minutes, the urge to talk growing to overwhelming levels after about an hour.

"E," she whinnied.

"What?" He looked up at her confused.

"Am I awful?"

E looked scared to answer her question. "I think you can be pretty nuts, Rox, but you have a good heart."

She looked devastated. "Christ. People would describe my mom kind of the same. Yeah, Gem was crazy, but she loved her family fiercely. I-I love my mom but I don't want to be like her."

"You're not your mom," EZ assured her.

"You didn't even know her," she groaned.

EZ nodded, "Yeah but looking through her shit, she's psycho at a level you could never reach."

"Hope that's not something that comes with age," she laughed.

They worked in silence for a bit before EZ came across something he wasn't sure what to do with. Opening the closet, he saw a yellowed file box with "Jackson" scrawled across it.

"This anything?" He asked, stepping out of the way so she could see what he'd found.

Roxy's brows furrowed. "Oh, that's stuff from Jax's, more paperwork stuff. I don't know why they couldn't just shred shit. They just took his vital paperwork and locked it up when they sold the house. Made no fucking sense."

"Alright," EZ shrugged. He lifted the box and slammed it down on the desk. "Shit's heavy."

"Really?" She was more intrigued now. Roxy got up off the floor and pulled the top of the box. "Oh fuck. His journals."

"Your brother wrote?"

"A lot," she sighed wistfully. "I thought he got rid of all this shit though."

When Roxy grabbed the first book, EZ reached in and grabbed one as well. "You mind?"

"No, go ahead," she whispered, flipping open the book. Her eyes filled with tears when she saw his familiar penmanship on the pages.

He skimmed it then tossed it back in, digging deeper into the box. "Rox?" EZ said reluctantly. She didn't look up at first, too interested in what he had written, until EZ spoke more forcefully. "Roxanna," he said.

"Huh?" She looked up. "What?" Roxy asked with annoyance. EZ handed her a file folder with her's and Mateo's name on it.

"Don't you have is social and birth certificate back home?" EZ asked, knowing she had to have it since he was in school but the folder had a whole other set of documents for the child.

"Yeah, the reissued copy," she said dismissively. "Shit," she hissed as she skimmed the papers only to hurriedly flip the folder shut again. "Long story, E," Roxy shook her head.

"What is it?" EZ asked her angrily. "Hey, come on."

"It's nothing," she said, trying to rip the folder but it was too thick. "Jesus Christ," she said with frustration. Storming out of the room, Roxy headed toward the kitchen to burn the papers but EZ was right behind her.

"Rox," EZ said with concern. "Christ, Roxy, is Happy Mateo's biological father?"

With shaking hands, Roxy lit the burner and held the folder over the range, smiling sadly as it caught fire. "Teo doesn't have a dad," she whimpered.

"Roxy," EZ grabbed her arm and pulled the papers from the flame. "This...this changes everything."

"This changes nothing," she yanked her arm back.

"What happened?" He asked earnestly. "Talk to me."

"Jax was supposed to get rid of this shit," she growled. "He talked me into it, he told me to lie," she recalled. "Then he killed Esai and lied to me," Roxy snapped. "Happy ruined your life and Jax," she shook her head. "He tried to fix mine but all he did was make it so much worse."

Roxy threw the folder down on the stove and stormed out. Carefully, EZ grabbed the burning paper and stomped on it, putting out the flames. He was more confused than before asking her about what he'd found so he went to investigate further while she locked herself in her room. After reading more of the journals, EZ felt he saw deeper into the situation than she could. Jax wasn't trying to ruin her life, he wasn't trying to hurt Mateo, he was trying to keep his nephew as removed from the club as possible which meant severing ties to Happy.

"Then the problem of Esai's Mayan connection solved itself," EZ assumed, mumbling to himself in the silence of the office. "Fuck."


	20. Chapter 20

It was a few hours after the massive discovery that EZ finally approached Roxy again. He knew she was upset, painfully so, and he wanted to give her some time before attempting to speak to her again. When he finally did, he found her hovering over Mateo as he slept in his deceased uncle's childhood bed. EZ watched with a small, sad smile on his face until she acknowledged his presence.

"He's the best thing that ever happened to me," she whispered. "There was so much shit swirling around when I was pregnant and right after he was born, the whole experience was fucked up, but the moment he was born nothing mattered but him."

"He's a lucky kid," EZ said with sincerity.

"Is he?" Roxy asked, turning to look at EZ with accusing eyes. "You had a great childhood, EZ, and you see the way he's growing up, how he's being raised, is he really a lucky kid?"

Fighting a frown, EZ nodded. "I do. He's got an amazing mom, one of the best I've ever seen, and he is so loved, not just by you and Alvarez but by me and Bish, the whole damn club. We love that kid, any one of us would go to bat for him and you, so yeah, I think he's a very lucky kid."

Roxy began to cry, burying her face in her hands, and slowly nodded. "I'm not awful, I didn't play anyone or try to pin this baby on Esai, it was, it was really fucked up."

"What happened?" He asked, eager to know the truth.

"I keep trying to forget it," she laughed ruefully. "I keep telling myself the lie is the truth and after a while, you start to believe it."

"I get that," he nodded.

"You really wanna know?"

EZ nodded. "Yeah, I do, and I think you need to get it out."

Roxy got up from beside Mateo and, kissing him on the head, slipped out of the bedroom and pulled EZ down the hall to her mother's bedroom. "I was 18, I was stupid and he was... irresistible.

Five Years Ago*

"How long?" Jax growled, his eyes burning holes in Happy's bare chest. When Happy didn't answer fast enough for Jax, he asked again. "How long have you been fucking my sister?"

"Six months," Happy admitted.

Jax's jaw clenched. "So as soon as she turned 18?"

"Yeah," Happy sighed.

Jax shook his head and turned away from Happy. "She's a fucking kid she's my SISTER and with all this shit going on you really think this was a smart move?"

"I didn't think, Prez," Happy said.

"You thought with your dick," he snapped.

Happy didn't have anything to say and without Jax asking him questions the room filled with a tense silence. From behind the locked bathroom door, Roxy spoke up.

"Jax, get out, I need to get dressed."

His ice-cold eyes hit the door. "We gotta talk," he said, walking toward the door. "I'm serious."

As soon as Jax left, Happy locked the apartment door before telling Roxy she could come out. When she did, her face was red from sobbing and her cheeks wet with tears.

"What's he gonna do?" She whimpered.

"Can't do anything really," Happy shrugged, "He'll get right with it, though." That meant they'd be in the ring and Happy would take a beating. It was a light sentence but he could see her face drain of color. "It's fine. I can take it."

"What are we gonna do?" She asked him quietly.

Happy shook his head. "He's right, Rox."

"He's right?" She asked dubiously. "What happened to your whole fuck em attitude?"

"I was pussy drunk," he snapped. "You're hot as fuck, you're young," he shook his head, "You're his little sister."

"Oh, so I was just a trophy to win once I was legal?"

"Basically," he said calmly.

"Fuck you," she snapped. "I never even fucking cared about you either. Just working out my dead daddy shit on your weak old ass dick."

Happy swallowed the sting from her words and watched as she quickly threw her clothes back on and charged toward the door. "I'm sorry, Rox," he said sadly, finally showing some emotion.

"I'm sorry I ever let you touch me," she growled. "You're like a goddamn child predator."

"Jesus Christ," he huffed. "You're as psycho as your mom."

Roxy didn't give him the satisfaction of proving him right by freaking out further. Instead, she stormed out, running into Jax by their father's Knucklehead. She stopped midstep and glared at him.

"Just don't," she said.

"You and me gotta talk, kid."

"No, we don't," she said forcefully. "It's done, we're done," she told him, "So, no, no talking."

"Roxy," he called after her.

"What?" She snapped, turning around to face him. "I really like Happy and it was more than just fucking, Jax, but it doesn't matter anymore, so just leave it."

"I'm sorry, Rox," he said sadly. "I'm not mad at you."

"Well, I'm mad at you," she sneered. "That was so embarrassing, Jax. You walking in on me and Hap like that then berating him like your my father and he's some high school kid?"

"He's too old and he lied to me," Jax said as if it explained anything, "He knows better."

"I would have thought you'd want me with a Son," he said sadly.

"That's the last thing I want for you," he admitted shamefully.

Roxy wiped her tears and nodded. "Can I go, please?"

"I love you," he said, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I love you too," she huffed before running off.

It was a tense eight weeks between Jax, Happy and Roxy with everyone feeling it but having no inclining as to what the problem was. Everyone involved claimed nothing was wrong and they knew it wasn't a plausible lie but they didn't care.

With a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes, she knocked on Jax's door. Tara answered, looking equally upset, and welcomed her sister in law into the house.

"You okay?" She asked Roxy.

"No, is Jax here?" Roxy knew he was, his bike was in the driveway.

Tara nodded. "Yeah, he's in the garage."

Roxy walked through the house and sheepishly entered the garage. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, surprised to see her standing there. "What's wrong?"

"I don't have anyone else to go to, Jax," she whimpered.

His face went dark. "What happened?"

"I'm pregnant," she sobbed, "It's Happy's."

"Jesus Christ," Jax groaned with disappointment. He pulled her in for a hug and held her as she cried. "It's okay. You're not alone. You're not doing this alone."

"There's also," she hesitated, "Something else."

Jax tried to reserve judgment but she knew him too well and could see it in his eyes. "What is it?"

"I'm seeing someone," she huffed. "It started out as a petty spite thing but, I really like him."

"How long?" Jax asked, already forming a plan in his head.

"Well, we met when I was still with Happy," she said shamefully, "But didn't really start anything till about three months ago, I know it's not his though."

"How far along are you?" Jax asked.

"What?" She drew her head back. "Why?"

"Rox," he said forcefully.

"Probably about like five weeks," she shrugged. "I don't know."

"You two didn't stop seeing each other," he said angrily.

Roxy glared at him. "Not really the issue Jax."

"No, it's not," he shook his head. "Rox, what do you wanna do?"

"Please don't tell me I should have an abortion," she sniffled.

"What do you want?" He said, emphasizing that it was her choice. "I'll back whatever you decide."

"I want this baby," she admitted.

Jax swallowed and nodded, knowing his sister well enough to figure she would want to have the baby.

"Don't tell Happy," Jax said firmly.

"What? No," she staunchly refused. "That's not fair, Jax, not to me or Happy or the baby."

"Rox," he grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes, "You and Hap won't work. Ever. If you want a nice little family, a normal family, you'll tell this new guy it's his. Tara can help if he questions the timing."

"About the guy," she stammered, "It's Esai Alvarez."

"The Mayan?" He growled.

"Yeah, Marcus Alvarez's son."

Jax let go of her and walked a few feet away. "You said it started as spite," he recalled. "But now?"

"I don't want to ruin anything with him," she said sadly. "He's great. Really sweet and funny and handsome...and he's closer to my age."

Jax was on the spot, unsure of which was the lesser of two evils, but he made a snap call. "How do you think he'd react?"

"Esai?"

"Yeah, to the baby."

Roxy felt her stomach churn. "He'd be thrilled," she admitted, "We've talked about long term stuff."

"You love him?"

"I think," she nodded.

"This could be good for everyone," Jax told her. "Happy wouldn't be the kind of father you want for this kid. Do you think Esai would stick around if you told him the truth?"

Rox wasn't sure but Jax's tone made it seem unlikely. "I-I don't know."

"You think many guys would?"

"I guess not," she whimpered.

Jax felt sick with guilt, manipulating his sister broke his heart, but he refused to saddle her in that town with a baby.

"Tell Esai it's him, I'll meet with Alvarez to uh, welcome him to the family." Jax hugged her again. "It'll be good. I promise."

It was good, for a while at least. Esai was thrilled and Marcus welcomed Roxy into the family with open arms. Relations between the Mayans and SAMCRO were improving until Darby injected with wildly inaccurate and inflammatory statements.

That was when the worst happened and when Esai had to die. Marcus and Jax agreed, Roxy didn't need to the truth, it was selfish but they refused to see it that way.

It was barely a day before Esai's disappearance was noticed by a panicked Roxy. That was when the lies and manipulation multiplied. Marcus went to Esai's, tearfully packed his things, and slipped out selling the lie that Esai abandoned his new family.

Jax and Tara comforted Roxy, both knowing the truth and hating themselves for the pain they cause her.

"I have to talk to Happy," Roxy cried.

"No," Jax snapped. "That's not an option."

"Jax, I don't want to do this alone and it's the right thing. Hap deserves to know."

"He'll be angry," Tara said suddenly.

"Knowing you lied, tried to have another man raise his kid," Jax elaborated. "And Alvarez, Rox, he is going to lash out, it'll touch everything we've built. Besides, you're a single mom but with him, you and this baby won't need anything, between SAMCRO and The Mayans, you're both set."

Tara walked away without a word, too horrified by her husband's words and actions to continue to help.

"Jax," Roxy cried, "I don't know if I can do this."

"You have to, you gotta do what's best for that baby no matter how hard it is and this is the best thing." Jax huffed her again. "Trust me, okay?"

Present*

"And I did trust him," she said. "When Mateo was born I panicked and put Happy down but then I had a new one filed. I don't know why Jax kept this. I feel like it's a goddamn sign, that he's telling me to tell the truth."

EZ opened his mouth but didn't say anything.

"I know," she laughed sadly. "Insane, right?"

"Uh, yeah," he chuckled awkwardly. "I don't know what to say."

"I think your brother had his reasons and I think you should believe he wanted the best for you and Mateo, telling Happy would only make this shit worse."

Roxy nodded. "Shouldn't be too hard. I swear, over the years I lived that lie it started to feel true. I believed it."

"He doesn't need to know, Rox," EZ advised her, "Just keep believing it."


	21. Chapter 21

The rest of the time spent in Charming was uneventful. Vital documents, family items, and pictures were gathered up and everything else was packed up and sold or donated.

Roxy stood on the front curb, Mateo on her hip and EZ beside her, looking at her childhood home with the sale sign hammered into the lawn.

"Well this is sadder than I thought," she whimpered.

"It's for the best," EZ said to her just to sound supportive.

When they heard a Harley coming down the street both Macy and EZ expected to see Chibs or Tig but not Happy. EZ tensed but didn't say anything as he approached them.

"End of an era," he remarked.

"Yep," she sighed. "Teo, say hi."

The boy looked up at Happy and waved. "Hi," she said timidly.

"Hey kid," Happy grumbled, messing the child's hair with his hand.

"Chibs know you're here?" Roxy asked

"No. I'm supposed to be avoiding you."

"Been hearing that for six years now," she remarked.

Happy chuckled, "Yeah."

"For the best," she said ruefully. Roxy turned and gave Happy a hug, "It was good to see you despite the multiple attempted murders."

"It was," he agreed. "You going home?"

"Yeah," she said as they separated. "I think it's better for everyone."

"Probably," Happy agreed. "Where's your old man?"

Roxy was about to mention the break-up but caught the words before they left her mouth. "He went ahead, club stuff. I kept the prospect for the dirty work."

"Listen," he said quietly, "If they give you any shit if they fuck you over or hurt you, tell me. Okay?"

"Yeah, you got it."

Since Coco took EZ's bike after making the trip to Charming with her, EZ was forced to ride home with Roxy and Mateo. It wasn't a tense drive but there were words both adults in the car were holding back.

"Mommy I'm tired," Mateo whined from the backseat. "I don't feel good."

"I know, me too kiddo," she commiserated. "We'll be home soon."

EZ looked at Mateo for a second, giving him a little smile, and used that break in the silence to open a conversation.

"Poor kid," EZ remarked.

"I know," Roxy sighed, glancing at her son in the rearview mirror. "He's had a long few weeks."

"Yeah but he'll bounce back, kids are resilient."

"Especially mine," she laughed. Roxy knew they were getting close to home and with the tension broken, she looked at EZ for some advice. "You said to keep believing the lie, I'm okay with that, but I feel like I have to tell Coco. I owe him that much, and shit, the way I spazzed on him for lying to me, I just, I feel like I have to tell him. I want to tell him."

There was no way Roxy wasn't going to tell Coco about Happy so EZ knew he shouldn't waste his breath trying to talk her out of it but he also agreed with reasoning. "I get it, I think you should, I think you should keep what happened in the cemetery to yourself though."

Roxy scoffed, "That was such a bad decision. No offense."

"You're not gonna get an argument from me," EZ said quickly.

Taking her eyes off the road briefly, Roxy glances at EZ and smiled. "Thank you for everything, E, and I'm sorry for all the times I've been a shit or I've taken advantage of you."

"And the time you ran off with Teo and scared the shit out of every one of us?"

She huffed and nodded. "I still think I was justified but I'm sorry you all were so worried."

"You're forgiven," he chuckled.

"Friends again?"

EZ nodded. "Yeah, friends."

Roxy wasn't nervous about talking to Coco until she actually rolled into the yard. She swallowed slowly, feeling like she was going to vomit, as she put the car in park and EZ jumped out quickly to stretch his legs. She unclicked her seatbelt and watched EZ chat with Gilly and Tranq.

"Nope, I'm out," she said in a moment of weakness. Starting the engine again, Roxy prepared to make her escape but in came Angel and Coco behind her. "Fuck."

"Coco," EZ hollered, pointing to Roxy.

There was no outward sign of reluctance as he looked over and made brief eye contact with Roxy. Jogging toward her, Coco waved timidly as she rolled down her window.

"Hi."

"Hey," he said casually. "Sup?"

"Uh, I wanted to know if I could make dinner tonight. You know, for the four of us, and maybe we could talk after?" That was when she saw reluctance, an uncertainty she'd never seen in him about her. "Nevermind. It's cool. Forget it."

"I'll come," he said quickly. "I'll see if Letti wants to."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Coco smiled a little, placing his hand on the top of the door and leaning into the window. "Everything work out?" He knew it did, he'd gotten the full report from Bishop, but he still asked, he still wanted to know if she was okay.

"As much as possible, I guess," she shrugged a little.

Coco nodded and pressed a fleeting kiss on her cheek. "Regular time?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I'll see you tonight."

When Coco and Letti arrived at the apartment they were greeted by the delicious aroma of one of Gemma's best recipes. Roxy was sure to take both recipes boxes when packing up and decided to make her favorite dinner for the Cruzs.

"Hey," she spoke timidly, clearly nervous.

"Hi," Letti said quickly as she sat on the couch.

"Hey," Coco kissed her cheek. "Where's Mateo?"

"Not feeling well," she pouted, "Said his belly hurt but I think he's laying the price for my meltdown. I feel awful."

Frowning, Coco nodded. "You didn't know."

Roxy huffed and rolled her eyes. "I should have though. Dinner should be ready in a few minutes."

"You wanna talk now?" He asked, following her into the kitchen.

"I don't know," she kept her back to him. "If it goes badly I'll be stuck with all this food."

"It won't," Coco said confidently. "We're both adults, we can keep shit calm."

Laughing at his comment to herself, Roxy turned and pressed her palms to his chest. "When I got pregnant I was young and dumb and terrified. I went to the person I trusted and loved the most in the world. The advice I got was flawed, at best, but I was too scared."

"Okay," Coco said expectantly. "What was the advice? Keep it?

"No," she frowned. "The advice was to lie and I did. I told Esai the baby was his but he isn't Mateo's father. Happy is."

Coco looked at her, his usually intense eyes were even more focused on hers and slowly nodded. "Goddamn, that makes so much sense."

"Really?" She laughed a little.

"Yeah," Coco huffed. "Jesus Christ, Rox, Why did you lie?"

"Jax," she sighed heavily as she began the story. It occurred to her halfway through that she'd also lied to Coco about Happy before when he asked about their history. "I'm sorry," she said as an end to her story. "I'm sorry I lied and I hurt you and I-"

"Who knows?" He interrupted.

"Uh," she stammered nervously, "The only living people that know are you and E. Please don't say ANYTHING. He only knows cause he found some shit at my mom's and it came out."

Coco wrapped his arms around her, sighing heavily as he embraced her, and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"You were, like, 18?"

"Yeah," she mumbled into his chest.

Coco quickly thought of Letti and how furious he would be if one of his brothers did what Happy did to Roxy. She was a kid, he was near forty, it was unforgivable to Coco.

"I'm sorry, querida," he said sadly. "I get it," he admitted, thinking of his lies about Letti. "Besides, if you didn't you'd be stuck up there, and I'd be missing out."

Rolling her eyes up to look at him, Roxy's lips turned upward into a small grin. "What's that mean?"

"I love you," Coco said earnestly. "It means I love your crazy ass, Rox. I'm not gonna take your shit anymore but I'm not gonna walk away. All our mistakes and our trauma brought us here. Gotta be a reason, right?"

"Right," she whispered.

Coco smiled sweetly and kissed Roxy, feeling comfort in her embrace and presence. "Let's forget this shit, I like our weird ass family."

"Me too," she giggled. "Come on, let's eat."

**Follow me on Instagram @PBB_Writer for face claims and stuff! Thanks for reading, commenting favoriting and following xoxo**


	22. Chapter 22

Rather than take it slow and ease into their relationship, Coco and Roxy jumped right back in full force. Within a week of her return to Santo Padre, they were looking at houses for the four of them and Coco was added to the list at Mateo's school.

"There's a great yard," the realtor pointed out. "Do you have kids or pets?"

"Two kids," Coco said, "No pets."

"Well," Roxy interrupted with a guilty smile, "I may have promised Teo a dog or cat when we moved into our new place."

"Rox," Coco groaned.

"We were up north," she explained.

"Let's hope he picks a cat," he remarked. "You like it?"

"I do," Roxy smiled and nodded excitedly. It was gorgeous, especially for the price, and she could see them there as a family.

"Alright," he chuckled, "Whatever my girl wants."

The realtor smiled and clapped her hands twice. "Let's start the paperwork."

After the long lunch, Coco and Roxy returned to the clubhouse to celebrate. Coco poured them each a shot and, after whispering a toast, downed the drink in one gulp.

"They're kind of cute," Gilly remarked.

"Shut up," Angel said, slightly envious of the happy couple.

"You getting paid to drink?" Bishop asked, only half joking, as he and Tranq joined the rest of the group in the clubhouse.

"It's our lunch break," Roxy said quickly. "Besides, we found a place, we wanted to celebrate.

Bishop smiled at that and nodded. "Congratulations. Now get back to work," he laughed, gesturing out toward the yard.

"Okay, I'll just shop for new furniture online," she teased.

As Coco and Roxanna went on their way, Bishop stopped Coco and hugged him. "Congratulations. I'm happy for you guys."

"Thanks Bish," Coco smiled shyly.

"Take the afternoon," he offered. "I'll put Chucky in the office. Rox won't be doing shit today, I know it."

Coco chuckled and nodded, shaking his President's hand, and headed out to tell Roxy. The midday sun blinded him as he set foot outside but he heard panic in Roxy's voice.

"Johnny, we gotta go. Now."

"What happened?" He asked, blocking the sun from his eyes to see Roxy with wide, teary eyes looking at him in desperation.

"It's Teo. He fell at school, th-they had to call an ambulance," she said.

Coco snapped into action. Grabbing her hand he pulled her toward his bike and sped her off toward the hospital.

When they arrived, the principal was in the ER waiting room after having accompanied Mateo on the ride.

"What happened?" Roxy asked angrily. "What happened to my son?!"

"Miss Teller," the principal tried to calm her, "Your son is going to be fine."

"No thanks to you," she snapped. "What the fuck happened?"

Coco stood a few steps behind her, watching proudly as she dealt with him.

"Mateo got away during gym, got up to the top of the climbing bars and lost his grip," the principal explained shamefully.

"He got away?" She scoffed. "Someone wasn't paying attention to him in a gym full of potentially dangerous shit."

"I understand your upset," he said.

"Oh you have no idea," she snapped.

Roxy stormed off to find out whatever she could about Mateo, leaving Coco with the principal wearing a smug smirk.

"She's right, you got no idea, but you will," he said ominously before following in her direction.

When he found her, Roxy was talking to a female doctor with a look of relief on her face. He came up behind her and pressed his hand to her back.

"What's going on?"

"He's got a mild concussion," Roxy huffed, "A few stitches and a broken wrist."

The doctor nodded as Roxy spoke to Coco. "We're doing a few more tests, just to be sure he's 100% and so we can keep an eye on him for a few hours. As long as everything comes back the way we want he'll be home by dinner."

"Thank you," Roxy sniffled.

"Thanks, Doc," Coco said, shaking the woman's hand.

"Let me take you to him," she said with a warm smile.

Roxy burst into the room and instantly enveloped the young boy in her arms. "You scared me, bud," she told him. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"I'm fine," he groaned, too invested in his cartoons and ice cream to give his mother the time of day.

"You look badass," Coco told him with a grin. "Girls love scars."

"Don't start that crap," Roxy chided. "Macho toxic masculinity."

Coco laughed, prompting Roxy to join in knowing he was simply trying to provoke her. "It'll heal up fine, kid."

"I just wanna go home," he complained. Mateo pushed the ice cream away. "My belly hurts."

"Lemme try this," Coco said grabbing the dish and taking a spoonful. "No wonder. This is nasty. We'll take you for some real food when they spring ya, alright?"

Mateo beamed at Coco and nodded. "Pizza?"

"Anything you want," Coco promised.

"Baby, what happened?" Roxy asked him. "How did you fall?"

"Tony dared me," he said defensively.

"You can't do that stuff," Roxy told him. "You could have gotten really hurt, you know you're not allowed to climb on that stuff, Mateo."

"I know," he pouted.

Roxy leaned over and kissed his head, noticing a sudden rise in his temperature. "I think he's got a fever."

"Again?" Coco asked. "Kid's been sick since Charming."

"I know," she sighed. "I'll mention it to the doctor, I guess. I just thought it was some virus or something."

"I dunno," Coco shrugged. He looked over when the door swung open, Letti hurrying into the room. "What are you doing here?"

"Chucky told me you were here with Mateo," she explained. "I wanted to make sure everything was okay."

Roxy smiled at that, Letti's concern proving they were all coming closer as a family before the door opened again.

"Miss Teller?" The doctor interrupted. "Do you have a moment?"

"Oh," Roxy turned around, surprised, and nodded, "Yeah, of course."

"Mateo has a UTI, it looks like it may have traveled up to his kidneys too. I'm going to start him on IV antibiotics to knock that out."

Roxy groaned. "Jesus. That must be why he's been feeling so shitty lately. I'm an idiot."

"No you're not," the doctor said sympathetically. "The last thing you expect to see in a kindergartener is a UTI."

"I guess," she shook her head. "We've been back and forth with family stuff and I thought he was just out of whack from that and unable to fight some weird virus."

"Could explain his blood pressure though," she said, noticing the slightly raised numbers on the monitor. "But maybe not," she mused.

"What?" Roxy glanced over at Mateo. "His blood pressure?"

"It's inching up," she remarked. "During my initial assessment, he complained of stomach pain, during the exam he was tender along his side."

"He's probably just upset," Roxy said quickly. "Doesn't like being here, I'm guessing. The stomach, he's complained once or twice but I didn't think much of it."

"Tell me, so you have any medical issues in your family?"

"Uh, CHD runs in my family," Roxy said. "He doesn't have any issues though, he got lucky, must have skipped him."

"Anything on his father's side?" She asked, her brows furrowed together.

Roxy stared at the doctor. "I...I don't know."

"The more I put these innocuous issues together the more I'm thinking Mateo may be suffering from a genetic kidney disease," the doctor explained. "It's not uncommon and very treatable," she said, seeing the fear on Roxy's face. "Let me send him for an abdominal ultrasound, maybe an MRI, so I can get a better picture of what we're dealing with."

"Umm okay," Roxy said, covering her mouth with her hand.

As the doctor left, Coco came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "What's wrong?"

"Might be an issue with his kidneys," she stammered. "She said it could be genetic but, uh, if it is it's not from my side."

"Happy," Coco said quietly.

"His Mom was really sick for a while, she had a bunch of issues," Roxy said fearfully. "Doctor said this is treatable if it is what she thinks, I just, I should have known."

"Hey," Coco turned her to look at him. "We'll get the kid patched up. Don't think about him, he's not Mateo's dad," Coco told her.

"Yeah," Roxy swallowed hard and nodded. "His family is right here. He'll be okay.

"He will, we'll make sure of it," he said, stroking her cheek. "I promise."


	23. Chapter 23

"What's going on?"

Bishop stood in the elevator bay of Imperial hospital with Taza on his right and Riz on his left. The trio looked on with concern while listening to Coco break down what was happening with Mateo.

"Doc said it's polycystic kidney disease," he said somberly, "His kidneys have cysts or some shit on them. They're waiting for the specialist to come in and talk to Rox."

Each of the three men reacted as Coco expected, stoic but very clearly concerned and distressed by the news.

"What are they doing for him?" Riz asked, his eyes squinting as he looked at Coco for answers.

"Kid's got a kidney infection, so they're giving him shit for that," Coco explained. "It's all treatable, at least that's what they're saying, it's not gonna kill him or anything as long as he gets what he needs."

"Christ," Bishop huffed. "Is this family gonna catch a goddamn break?"

Coco shook his head. "Asking myself the same shit."

"I meant you too," Bishop said to Coco. "I know he's not your blood but this isn't easy on you. Anything you need, tell us."

Coco nodded, his eyes glistening with tears. "Thanks, jefe. Me and Rox appreciate it."

"She call Alvarez?" Taza asked.

"She wanted Bish to do it," Coco said with a frown.

Bishop shook his head. "I'm no doctor. I can't explain this shit."

"Don't have to explain it," Coco said, "Just tell him to come down."

"I'll do it," Taza offered.

"Thanks," Bishop said quickly before Taza left to make the call. "Should we go say hi?"

"Teo would love it," Coco said eagerly. "He hates being in here."

"We'll make the prospect come up as a clown to cheer the kid up," Bishop laughed.

"Yo, that's not funny," Coco said darkly. "Clowns are fucking evil. I see a clown coming toward me, I'm gonna fucking shoot it."

"You need help, my brother," Riz said with a chuckle.

"Me?" Coco asked defensively as he led them toward Mateo's hospital room. "Clowns are evil. Everyone knows it. If anyone needs help it's those goofy ass psychos."

Bishop and Riz laughed, walking into the room behind Coco, but their smiles fell when they saw Roxy's pained expression and little Mateo is the giant hospital bed. He had an IV and a blood pressure cuff, limiting his range of motion, and he looked just as miserable as he felt.

"Querida," Bishop said softly, greeting Roxy with a strong embrace. "Holding up?"

"I am," she forced a smile. "Thanks for the visit."

"Course," he winked. "Teo," he was suddenly more lively. "How are ya kid?"

"Bored," he whinnied.

"I know," Bishop commiserated. "How about we send EZ around with some stuff? What do you want?"

Mateo looked at Roxy for permission and she quickly nodded. "Anything you want, baby."

Riz laughed as Mateo started rambling a list of things he wanted. "I gotta write this shit down."

"He's got a lot of this stuff at home," Roxy told Coco.

"I'll grab it," he assured her. "Taza is calling Alvarez now."

"Great," she said sarcastically. Roxy rested her forehead against his chest and sighed. "I'm tired, Johnny."

"I know," he said softly, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm sorry."

There was an unexpected knock at the door seconds before an older man stepped into the room. "Miss Teller?" He looked at Roxy, as she was the only woman in the room, and offered her his hand. "I'm Doctor Berman, Mateo's nephrologist."

Roxy looked up from Coco's chest with hopeful eyes. "Yes?"

"Can we talk? I have a treatment plan for your son," he said, tapping the clipboard in his hands.

Taking his hand, Roxy pulled Coco with her and they walked in silence to a bland office down the hall. It was clearly set up for all doctors to use, it wasn't Berman's actual office, but it was a quiet, private place to talk.

"You are Mateo's biological mother, correct?" The doctor asked, glancing down at the file.

"I am," Roxy nodded. "He's not his father though if that matters."

The doctor shook his head. "Not really, I just wanted to have my notes clear when we talk again or if I have any questions." He was silent, looking at his papers for a moment, before meeting Roxy's eyes again. "Polycystic Kidney Disease is-"

"I know," she stopped him. "Fluid-filled cysts are growing on his kidneys and making it harder for them to work. How do we help him?"

Doctor Berman smiled. "I like that attitude. Your son's case is more advanced than we see for his age, he's probably had it for a while, developing when he was a baby, but being young sicknesses and bellyaches are dismissed so easily."

Roxy nodded. "Yeah, usually," she sighed, feeling monumentally guilty.

"I want to treat this aggressively," he explained. "It's only going to get worse throughout his life, there's no use moving slowly up the treatment ladder. With a transplant, he can have a relatively normal childhood and enjoy his life."

"A tr-transplant?" Roxy stammered. "But he's only five."

"And he'll get it over and done with," the doctor said with a smile. "It's going to take time, testing, donors," he explained, "So we're going to start him on dialysis in the meantime."

Covering her mouth, Roxy turned, burying her face in Coco's chest, and began to cry.

"You gotta slow down," Coco said to the doctor.

"I understand it's difficult," he said somberly. "It's a lengthy process so the sooner we start the better it is for Mateo."

"Alright," Roxy said, pulling herself together. "Whatever. Let's do it. Can I donate one of mine? Does he have to go on a list or something?"

The doctor smiled again. "You can donate if there's a match. I'd like to check any willing family and friends first for a matching blood type. Do you know your blood type?"

"I don't remember," she sighed.

"Let's hope you're O," he remarked. "After we find a blood match we'll test for a tissue match and go from there."

"Alright," Roxy jumped to her feet. "Let's start pricking."

In less than hour Roxy, Coco, Bishop, Riz, Taza, EZ, Angel, Gilly, Creeper and even Chucky had been blood typed. Out of the ten, only Coco, Tranq and Creeper had compatible blood types.

It would take weeks for the tissue typing to come back so they took so new vials of blood from the lucky three and could do nothing more than wait.

That evening, after Mateo fell asleep, Coco and Roxy met in the courtyard. It was quiet, save for the crickets and the steady blow of the wind through the trees, as they sat on the bench. The plaque by their feet stated it was dedicated to some long deceased hospital patron.

"Saul Ogden," she said.

"Huh?"

Roxy smirked a little. "We can thank Saul Ogden for this bench."

Coco looked down and nodded. "Kind of feels depressing."

"One day may we all have a bench in our name."

"Rox," he said softly. "There's a reason you wanted to talk out here and it's not to pay respects to Saul Ogden."

"I googled," she admitted. "It was confusing but uhh, basically they said the best shot for a compatible donor and a successful transplant in pediatric cases is one of the patient's parents."

"Yeah, I kinda got that," Coco sighed. "I read some of the papers they gave us."

Roxy smiled at that. "You did?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "Of course."

"Thank you," she laced her fingers between his. "I'm not able to donate, my blood type doesn't match, but in order for Teo to be O, Happy has to be O."

"And since he's the bio dad the other shit will match too, right?"

"Better chance than you, Creep or Tranq," she whimpered. "Even if they match they'll have to stop drinking and smoking for six months, try not to get fucking shot and then be outta commission for a while recovering."

"They'll do it," he said, "You know they'd do it for Teo."

"They shouldn't have to," she sighed. "And Mateo deserves the best possible donor, doesn't he? Am I being selfish?"

"Rox," he sighed, "I don't know."

"That's a polite yes," she whimpered.

"Not asking him is as selfish as me not wanting him to know," Coco admitted. "Us wanting to keep him away is for us, not for Mateo."

"Marcus will find out."

"I know."

"I don't think I can shoulder that fallout," she admitted shamefully.

"Alvarez loves that kid," Coco told her. "It won't be as bad as you think, Rox, and you don't have to shoulder the whole thing alone."

Roxy nodded. "I love you," she told him. "Thank you for doing this with me."

"I love you too," he smiled. "Guess we're going back to Charming?"

She exhaled a shaky breath and nodded. "Yeah and hopefully we're coming back with a willing kidney donor."


	24. Chapter 24

After much discussion, Coco and Roxy decided he would join her on the trip up north. At first, she wanted him to stay with Mateo but Coco didn't trust Happy. Once EZ and Letti promised to watch over Mateo, Roxy finally felt comfortable with Coco coming with her.

"Let me go in alone," she said, parked out front of Happy's house. "Him seeing you will push this a level up and we don't need that."

"You two are the ones who tried to kill each other but I'm gonna make it tense?"

Roxy was able to smile at that. "I love you, Coco."

"I love you too," he huffed. "I just fucking hate this."

Nodding, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Me too."

Roxy took a deep breath and headed up to the front door. She knocked once, hoping he didn't answer despite his bike being parked just to the left of the front steps, then again. After what felt like an eternity, Happy opened the door. His angry expression quickly turned to surprise.

"Hey," she forced a weak smile. "Can we talk?"

"Uh yeah," he sighed, stepping back to let her into the house. "Skeletor gonna come in too?"

Roxy rolled her eyes. "No. This is just between us."

"Great," he grumbled. "You gonna stab me this time?"

Roxy actually laughed at that one and thankfully a bit of her apprehension lifting as she did. She looked at him for a minute, seeing some of her son's features in Happy's face, and suddenly her smile fell.

"Teo is sick," she said slowly.

"Shit, Rox, I'm sorry," he huffed. "What's going on?"

"His kidneys," she said vaguely. "I didn't come here to tell you just that." Roxy could hardly open her mouth, the words held safely behind her teeth, but his expectant and intense stare forced her to speak. "Mateo is your son, Happy, and he needs something only you can give him."

"Get the fuck outta here," Happy snapped roughly.

The force of his words sent her back a few feet as she looked at him, blinking twice, unsure of what to say next.

Happy shook his head. "Kid ain't mine. He's Esai's."

"I just said that," she said quietly. "I didn't want to but Jax said it would be the best for all of us."

Swallowing hard, Happy's face changed at the realization of Jax's involvement. "Jax?"

"He didn't want us together. He didn't think you'd want to be a father. He wanted me out of here. Out of the shit, he couldn't get himself out of," she sighed. "That's what I've put together at least. Hindsight, you know? When he got the chance to kill Esai he loved it. Cut my ties, mostly, and he thought he could," she shook her head. "I don't know what he thought."

Happy listened to her, a hand on his forehead and over his eyes, as he shook his head. "This is bullshit. FUCKING BULLSHIT. Jax wouldn't do that, he woulda told me."

Roxy began to cry, the anger in his voice broke her heart and for the first time, she wasn't sure he'd agree to help Mateo.

"He has polycystic kidney disease," she said bluntly. "It's genetic, Happy, and it's not on my side."

"My mom had that," Happy said suddenly. "She was on dialysis for a while, supposed to eventually get a transplant but she was never healthy enough for the surgery."

"Yeah," Roxy whimpered. "Mateo has an infection so they want to keep him for a bit longer before he's discharged. We're currently looking for a living kidney donor."

"Guessin' you tried everyone else first?"

She nodded and said, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be."

"You gotta go," he grumbled. "Now."

"What?" She glared at him. "Go? What about Teo? He's your son and he needs his biological father!"

"What about Coco?" Happy sneered.

"He would if he could," she told him. "I'm sorry I lied. I wanted to tell you, I did, but I still never thought you'd have wanted a child."

"Woulda been nice to have the option," he said, uncharacteristically vulnerable.

"What am I supposed to do?" She stammered. "Please. He's our son."

"He's not my son," Happy said bitterly. "I don't even know that kid and he doesn't know me."

"I know what you mean but, Happy, even if you don't know him he's your blood. Fuck, man, he only got this shit because of you!"

"Don't blame me," he hollered. "This isn't my fault. It's yours."

Roxy drew her head back. "Fuck you. You selfish fucking asshole. He's a kid, practically still a baby, and you're gonna take our shit out on him?"

"Get. Out."

"Come on!"

"GET OUT!"

"Fuck you," she snarled. "You don't deserve to have a son."

Storming out of the house, Roxy screamed a string of expletives until she got back to Coco's bike. He looked at the house, furious, and before she could sit got off the bike and headed toward the door.

"We gotta talk," he said, pounding on the door.

"Go home," Happy warned him.

"You gonna leave your kid in that hospital bed?" Coco bellowed, purposely making a scene. "I'll cut that fucking kidney out my goddamn self!"

The door swung open and Happy glared at Coco. "You don't know shit. You wanna try to fuck with me, you'll lose."

"I just don't want that kid to lose," he snapped. "You don't wanna be a dad, I get that, and it's all good cause that's not what he needs."

"You gonna play daddy? Raise that kid?"

"Yeah, I am," he said earnestly. "Give this kid six months, dry out, stop smoking and help him live a fucking normal life."

Happy huffed, "I don't need to hear some come to Jesus bullshit from you," he said shoving Coco back.

"Hey," Roxy rushed over to them. "Don't fucking do this shit. Coco, if he wants to be an asshole, let him. He was never a giver." Grabbing his kutte, Roxy pilled Coco back toward his bike.

"I'm sorry," Coco said angrily. "I can kill him and cut it out if you want, I swear to god I'll do it."

"No," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. "If he doesn't wanna do it we'll find another way."

Happy watched from the step as Coco and Roxy left, only slamming the door when they were out of sight. Stopping to grab himself a beer, Happy stomped his feet up the steps to pack for Santo Padre. He was going to go, he was going to give Mateo whatever he needed and Happy knew or the second Roxy asked. The outburst was simply bin working through the sadness and anger that suffocated him.

Not only had Roxy lied to him but Jax too, for years. The betrayal coupled with the news he had a son, a son that was sick, tipped his scales and he lashed out.

Looking at a photo of his mother stuck in his mirror, right next to one of him and Jax, Happy shook his head.

"This is gonna fucking suck."


	25. Chapter 25

Before heading to the hospital, Coco and Roxy stopped to shower off the dust and dirt from the road. They took her car to see Mateo, Roxy still silent after having her hope destroyed in Charming.

"What did I expect?" She asked Coco. "I went up there, dropped two huge bombs on him, three actually, and expected him to just drop everything and move here for six months? To undergo serious surgery for this kid he shares nothing with but DNA?"

Coco didn't know what to say. He understood her point but knowing their history Coco thought Happy would have done it because she asked him to help her son.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"Me too," she whimpered. "He's Happy, I know him, and I expected rage but I really thought he'd do it. I know it's a big ask but," she shook her head. "I don't know."

"We'll get him fixed up," Coco promised something he knew he shouldn't have. "Alvarez is here though, you gotta be ready for that."

"Yeah," she forced a smile. "Come on, let's get it over with."

Mateo was all smiles when Roxy go to his room. Letti, EZ, Alvarez, and Bishop were working hard to keep the boy's spirits high.

"Hey, baby!" Roxy said excitedly. "How are you feeling?" She sat on the side of the bed and gave him a hug.

"Better," he grinned. "They said I can go home tomorrow!"

Roxy looked at EZ with surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah, Doc said the infection is gone and he's doing well," EZ explained.

Fighting back tears, Roxy squeezed Mateo tighter before moving to greet Alvarez. "Thanks for coming."

"That's my blood," he said as he hugged her. "Blood type doesn't match though."

"Oh," she hung her head. "Okay."

"I'm sorry," he said sadly.

"I know," she frowned and nodded.

"If Esai," he started but Roxy stopped him.

"Don't," she said, her words heavy, "Can't go back, can't change anything," she sighed. Roxy looked up at Coco. "We have a lot of work to do, moving and bringing him home," she huffed.

"I got it," he said softly. "I'll handle it. Stay here, don't worry about anything."

"I'll help," Letti said.

Coco smiled lovingly at his daughter and welcomed her offer. They were gone quickly, Bishop following soon after. Alvarez stayed. He stayed much longer than she expected or wanted.

"Without a match what are they going to do next?" Alvarez asked her once Mateo was napping.

"Not sure," she shrugged. "There are treatments we just wanted to try everyone to see if we could spare him all that shit."

Alvarez nodded. "I see."

Roxy nodded, shuffling her feet, and moved toward the door. "I'm going to search out his doctor, he should have been by already."

"I'll stay with him," Alvarez said, giving Mateo's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Thanks."

Roxy didn't immediately look for the doctor. She slipped away with a cup of hospital coffee and snuck a cigarette to ease her nerves.

The Next Day*

"Dad, this too?" Letti asked, showing him a box that sat right outside the kitchen.

"I think so," he huffed. "I wanna focus on the shit we need and most of Teo's stuff."

She nodded and grabbed a bag on her way into the boy's room. Everything had happened so quickly they could barely keep their heads straight. Roxy's lease was up at the end of the week and they were already given keys for the new place, living in limbo was wreaking havoc.

"Uh, Dad?" She said nervously.

"What?"

"Someone's here. I think."

Coco went into Mateo's room to see Letti looking out the window. He glanced out to see Happy sitting on his bike, parked on the side of the building, with his phone to his ear.

"This motherfucker," Coco hissed. Taking the stairs two at a time and using the fire exit, Coco popped out a few feet from Happy. "Why the fuck are you here?"

Startled, Happy jumped off his bike and went for his gun, until he saw it was Coco. "Ah fuck, it's just you."

"Why are you here?"

"I wanna help the kid," Happy told Coco somberly. "I wanna help Rox."

"You know how sick she was over this shit?" Coco sneered. "The whole way back she was fucking shaking. All so you could make an entrance?"

"You don't know as much as you think you know," Happy said with a warning tone. "You don't know shit, ese," he spat.

"Can't go now," Coco warned him. "Alvarez is there."

"She didn't tell him?"

"She didn't tell anybody," Coco said, "Just me."

Happy nodded.

"You tell your club?"

"No."

"Good." Coco snapped. "Teo is getting out today, we're trying to get all our shit into the new place. I'll tell her you're here."

"Motel nearby?" Happy asked

"Just by the hour shitholes," Coco told him, "But, we'll be outta here soon. Got the place till the end of the week, you can stay here for a few nights till shit gets settled."

Happy nodded. "Thanks."

Offering him his hand, Coco nodded and they shook hands making a silent agreement to respect each other for the sake of Mateo and Roxy.

Check out my new Bishop story The Long Game!! XoxoThanks for all the support!


	26. Chapter 26

Happy was more comfortable than most would be in the filthy, musty motel room a few miles away from the Mayans clubhouse. Laying on his back, in boxers and nothing else, he watched TV with the remote on his stomach and leftover Chinese food on the nightstand. He had slowly started to doze when there was a light knock on the door. He sat up, grabbing his gun, and answered the door cautiously to see Roxy waiting for him.

"Hey Hap," she smiled.

"Hey," he said, motioning for her to enter the room. "Guess you talked to your old man."

"I did," she sighed. "You don't know what this means."

"He's really my kid?" He asked. "I'll do it either way, Rox, but I gotta know for real."

Roxy nodded, "He's your boy, Happy. I'm sorry."

"Yeah me too," he huffed. "It was really Jax?"

"I wanted to tell you but I can't lay it on him, especially now that he's gone and can't speak for himself. It was his idea but I went along with it."

"Anyone's better than me, maybe he was right," Happy mused.

"You are sick and twisted and," Roxy shook her head, "You're a lot of things Happy but you would have done right by him if you had the chance. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry and if you want a relationship with Teo you're more than welcome to have one."

"And break up that American dream you got going? No way," he laughed. "Coco got his prize, a house with a fucking white fence, two kids, pretty little wife."

Roxy shook her head. "You sound jealous."

"I am," he shrugged. "I'm not a family type but it's gotta be nice, I guess."

"You like him?"

"Coco?" He asked with surprise.

"Yeah," she laughed.

"No," he said flatly, "But he loves you and he loves that kid," Happy shrugged.

"Jax would like him," she said sadly. "I miss him, I'm mad but I fucking miss him, Hap," her voice cracked.

Happy nodded, tears in his eyes. "Yeah, I miss him too, we all do, every fucking day. You're right, Jax would really like him, I just don't like anyone."

"Except me," she winked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Not when ya fucking shoot me," he said with a cold look. "So what's the deal?"

"With the medical shit?"

"Yeah, dumbass," he huffed.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "They'll test you to make sure you match then you gotta clean up, take care of yourself go through some prep then they'll cut it outta you and leave you in an ice-filled tub."

"I don't think that last part is true," he laughed.

"Thank you, Happy," she suddenly whimpered, almost unable to believe he agreed. "I didn't think you'd change your mind."

"I didn't," he admitted. "I was going to do it as soon as you asked but shit, I was pissed girl."

"Understandably," she said nervously. "No one knows, Hap. Well, Coco obviously knows, but I think it would be better if we didn't share news, I don't know how Marcus would react."

"We don't need another war," Happy said wearily, "And I'm not looking to play Dad."

Roxy nodded, "Well that's settled I guess."

"I'm easy," he shrugged.

"Always been," she chuckled. "We need some time to get settled in the new place but umm, if all goes well, you'll be here a while so you're more than welcome to stay with us."

Happy nodded. "You wanna make sure I'm not smoking and drinking and shit too, right?"

"No offense but yeah," she admitted.

"Don't blame you," he said, moving toward her. "He's said that too but you sure it's good?"

Roxy looked up at him and nodded. "He knows how I feel."

"What's that mean?"

"That I love him, that I love his daughter," she smiled. "Coco knows we're solid."

"I'm happy for you," he said with a nod. "Now go home," he said gruffly. "We'll meet up tomorrow. "

Roxy nodded and hugged him. "Thank you."

"Yep," he said hugging her back. "Night."

Walking toward the door she looked back at him and smiled. "Good night."

After his blood draw, Roxy took Happy to lunch then back to the clubhouse. Mateo was there, much to Happy's surprise, with Alvarez. Roxy was nervous but maybe wanted to leave the house after being stuck on the hospital for so long and she figured it was more controlled and safer than anywhere else.

"Blood type matches," Roxy said excitedly. "Now we wait for the tissue typing."

"Couple weeks, right?" Coco asked her quietly as they caught up on their days.

"Yeah," she huffed. "I'm gonna be freaking out the whole time."

"No, you're not," he issued her forehead. "We got enough to keep you distracted."

"Christ we do," she said, seeing EZ as he caught sight of Happy. His face turned stormy and his stance changed. "I'll umm, be right back," she told Coco.

Roxy hurried over to EZ and pulled him to the dart board in the far corner of the clubhouse.

"What?" He asked angrily.

"We have to talk," she said darkly. "I know you don't have the warm and fuzzies for Happy."

"Warm and fuzzies?" EZ growled, his eyes still trained on Happy. "He killed my mom, Rox, he's the reason all this shit happened."

"I know," she said quickly, "And I'm not trying to minimize that, any of it, but he's here to help Mateo. He agreed to donate if they match," her voice cracked, "And if you come out with this news or just snap and go after him that goes out the window."

EZ's body slumped a bit as she said it. "He's protected by a mom with a sick kid."

"A mom that needs him healthy and whole for the next 6 months...give or take."

"Rox," EZ growled. "I've waited 8 fucking years to find him."

Roxy nodded. "What's 6 more months?"

"Six months for him to get away."

"No," Roxy snapped loudly, drawing some attention their way. "If this doesn't happen he waits a couple years until he's sick enough to need a transplant then he's on a list, a long fucking list."

EZ looked at Roxy's silent tears then over at Mateo as he sat with Gilly and Coco. "Fine," he grumbled, "But when this is all said and done and Teo is healthy, you have to help me nail him without shit blowing back on the club."

Roxy inhaled sharply and hesitated but only for a moment. "I promise."

Comment. Comment. Comment! Xoxoxo


	27. Chapter 27

"Look at Mr. American Dream over here." Angel laughed, teasing Coco instead of a more customary greeting. "Place looks, great man."

"Letti and Roxy did it," he said proudly. "I just moved the heavy shit," he added with a laugh.

Coco and Angel hugged quickly before they both reached for a beer from the ice tub on the patio. They stood quietly and watched the others arriving, Mateo playing in the yard with friends from daycare but the mood was dampened when Happy pulled into the driveway.

"You really gonna let him stay here the whole time?" Angel asked, his bottle resting on his lips as he watched Happy, Tig, and Chibs remove their helmets.

"She wants to watch him," Coco explained. "Can't drink or smoke, gotta watch how much shit he's eating. Rox wants to be sure he's not sneaking anything."

"And you're cool with it?" Angel asked his original question differently to see if he'd get a real answer.

Coco hesitated. "I hate it but it's for the kid. Can't be that selfish," he grumbled.

"You're a good man," Angel said sympathetically as Happy approached, "Better than me."

"Hey," Happy grumbled as he approached Angel and Coco with the others behind him.

"Hey man," Angel said quickly moving to greet the other Sons. "Welcome to the goddamn desert," he joked.

"Aye," Chibs laughed. "Women as dry as the air down here?"

"Fuck no," Angel said devilishly as he led Chibs and Tig away. "There's nothing here for you but we can head back to the clubhouse after this and you can find out for yourself."

"Guess she told you?" Happy said to Coco.

"You wouldn't be here if you didn't match," Coco said.

Happy nodded. "So what's this party for?"

"Ain't for you," Coco said quickly. "Housewarming and Mateo's birthday."

"Shit, I forgot his birthday," Happy admitted.

"Doesn't matter, you won't be here for the next one," Coco said. "We're cool but I don't like this."

"I don't like it, or you," Happy said matching Coco's frustrated tone.

"Two things we agree on," Coco said.

"Guys," Roxy sang in an overly cheerful voice, "You both look like you're about to pull your guns. Can you chill?"

"Lo Siento," Coco crooned into her ear. Hooking his arm around her waist he pulled her close. "We're working on it, Mami."

"Hi Happy," she said, her body pressed against Coco. "How was the ride?"

"Dusty," he complained.

"You get used to it," she shrugged. "Do you want anything?" She offered. "Figured tonight can be your last hurrah for drinking and smoking."

"Alright," he said eagerly. "See ya tomorrow," Happy laughed.

"Have fun," she said gesturing for him to leave.

"Fuck," Coco grumbled as soon as they were alone. "I hate him."

"Why?" She asked nuzzling his neck.

"He still thinks you're his," Coco told her. "Thinks he's letting you be with me."

"Bullshit," she snapped. "He doesn't and he knows he's not. I was with him for a lot of fucked up reasons."

"And he was with you for fucking creepy reasons," Coco said protectively. "That's like Bish going after Letti. It's wrong."

Roxy tensed, "Stop." She hated looking at it from the adult outside perspective she didn't have six years before. "I don't think I've ever felt more myself or free before. You are just… I feel like we were made for each other, our fucked-up-ness fits."

"I love you," he said simply as he tucked some hair behind her ear. He wouldn't wax poetic about his crippling insecurities or how he fought feeling love from anyone because of his mess of a childhood. He would just tell her how he felt in the most simplistic way he could. "I love you more than anything, Rox."

"I love you too," she said shyly. "Fuck," Roxy suddenly snapped. "I didn't think Marcus was coming."

Coco's head shot around to see Marcus rolling down the block toward the house. "El Padrino. Why you freaking out?"

"I'm scared he's going to find out," she whispered.

"How?" Coco asked dubiously. "No one knows. He's not gonna say shit and we're not gonna either."

"Yeah," she said nervously, "I hope."

Coco kissed her cheek. "I gotta throw some more steaks on," he told her.

Roxy bit her lip and giggled. "Domestics look good on you, Coco. I could go for some of your steak right now."

"Shut up," he laughed, pinching her ass playfully. "Go talk to Alvarez and get it over with."

Roxy rolled her eyes and headed over to greet the man she viewed as a father in law of sorts. She smiled brightly and gave him a hug.

"Hey," she said cheerfully. "Didn't think you'd make it."

"Plans changed," he said casually. "How's our boy?"

"He's great," she exclaimed. "Treatments are going well and he feels pretty good. Wouldn't even know he was sick, right?" Roxy said, pointing off to Mateo as he played around the yard.

"Strong," Marcus said confidently. "He's an Alvarez."

Roxy nodded. "Can I get you anything? Beer? Something to eat? Coco just-"

"SAMCRO?" Alvarez asked when he noticed the three Sons across the yard.

"Oh, yeah," she laughed a bit. "Happy's moving in, we figured we should invite him to the housewarming right?"

"He's moving in?" Alvarez asked with more concern than confusion.

Roxy felt her chest tighten. "Yeah. I thought Bishop told you, Happy's a match. He's Mateo's donor."

"Happy?" Alvarez said dubiously. "I didn't know it was Happy."

"Oh, well yeah," she shrugged. "Dumb luck, I guess."

He looked at her for a moment, his gaze cutting right through her, and slowly nodded. "Sounds like it."

"Yeah, so, uh, anyway, there's beer everywhere, kegs and tubs of bottles, I have liquor inside and all the food is in the kitchen, keeps the bugs away. Help yourself!"

Marcus nodded, giving her a kiss on the cheek before she scurried away but he kept his eyes on Happy.

"Teo," Roxy interrupted the kids, "Go say hello to Abuelo."

"Mom," the boy groaned.

"Go. Now." Roxy said firmly. She watched as Mateo made his way over, reluctantly at first, and gave Marcus an excited hug. Bishop was there, having been in conversation with Marcus, and gave Roxy a little wave when he noticed her staring.

"Rox?" Someone called out. "Rox?"

"What?" She snapped, turning to see Coco looking at her expectantly. "Oh, god, I'm sorry."

"What's wrong?" He asked her with concern.

"Me," she huffed. "I'm paranoid and freaking out about Alvarez."

Coco shook his head. "You're gonna give shit away actin' like a little psycho. Come on, we gotta cut the cake."

"You just want all the civilian friends to leave, don't you?" She asked with a chuckle, slowly starting to relax.

"Get the kids and neighbors and shit outta here," he grumbled. "I want to have fun with my real family and friends."

Again, Roxy rolled her eyes but didn't disagree or protest. Heading into the house, she hummed to herself while she stuck the candles in Mateo's Hulk cake.

The crowd gathered around the table, Mateo at the head, and sang to the wide-eyed and grinning little boy.

"...Happy birthday dear Mateo, happy birthday to you!"

Party guests cheered as Mateo blew out his candles with Roxy and Coco beside him. The cake was gone quickly, Angel and Creeper snatching more than just one piece, and before long the party dwindled to Coco's preferred club family only.

As she washed and rinsed dishes, Roxy watched Mateo outside with Letti and the others getting his last few minutes of fun before it was time for a bath and bed. Respectfully, no one was smoking with him so close by but Roxy knew they were dying to. Drying her hands she called for Mateo to say goodnight before ushering him upstairs. When she returned to the mess about an hour later, Marcus was sitting at the kitchen island smoking a cigarette.

"Everything okay?"

"That boy isn't my blood," he said ominously.

"What?" Her shocked reaction was genuine, she wasn't expecting the question at all.

"Mateo isn't Esai's," he said. "Right?"

"Uh," she whimpered, "Marcus, it's kind of, um-"

"Happy's?"

"Ye-yes."

Marcus nodded. "All the money, the support, the guilt and your tears, were all for nothing."

"No, I wasn't using you, or Esai," she said staunchly. "It wasn't about that, I swear. I wanted a future and a family with Esai, Jax said th-"

"Jax?"

"Shit," she hissed. "Jax knew me and the baby would be happier and better off with Esai and I wanted him, I wanted our future. I love Esai, I always will, and I love you and Dianna, you're my family."

"It was obvious when I didn't match, I should have at least partially matched," Alvarez said. "That's what all the paperwork you gave me said, all the transplant information."

Roxy closed her eyes and sighed, she did it to herself.

"Your reaction to Esai's death, when you found that out, was that all for a better life too?"

Shaking her head, Roxy felt a few tears roll down her face. "No, that was real. After a while I kind of forgot the lie, it was the truth."

"I love that boy," he admitted, "Mateo is my grandson."

"I know," she cried, "He loves you too."

"Who else knows?"

"Coco and Happy, I only just told them when Mateo was diagnosed, and EZ he found out by accident," she whispered. "Everyone else that knew, Jax and Tara, are dead."

Marcus nodded, stubbing out his cigarette, and got up from the stool. "Buenas Noches, mija" he said, walking by her and kissing her cheek on his way out.


	28. Chapter 28

Roxy didn't go to bed that night. First, she sat at the same spot Marcus had and silently panicked then busied herself with scrubbing, wiping, washing and cleaning everything she could.

"Hey," Happy grumbled as he walked into the kitchen from the yard.

Looking up, locks of hair in her face sticking to her sweaty forehead, Roxy's expression showed her surprise. "You were not the one I expected to see first this morning."

"Your lawn isn't the most comfortable place to sleep," he complained.

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Coffee?"

"Nah," he sighed. Happy yawned and sat down in the exact spot Marcus and Roxy had earlier, sending a chill down he spine. "Why you stressed?"

"What?"

He laughed. "Bleach and shit means a Teller woman is stressed."

Roxy laughed and nodded. "That is true."

"So what is it?"

Hesitating, she shook her head. "Honestly, Hap, I don't know if I can talk about it with you. We're not exactly as close as we used to be."

"That means it's about that skinny prick," Happy grumbled.

"Actually, no," she flashed him a smug grin. "Things have been contentious for a while now Hap."

"You left."

"Are you serious?" She huffed. "My family was decimated. You guys were fucking messes and let's be real, it didn't exactly feel safe after the shit Jax pulled."

"You were never at risk," he snapped.

"Whatever," she curled her fingers into fists. "This is a prime example of why I won't confide in you."

"I won't say shit," he told her. "I swear."

"It doesn't matter," she shook her head.

"Rox," he huffed.

"Hap," she snapped back.

"Is it Marcus?" He asked ominously.

She drew her head back. "Why would you ask that?"

"He was eyeing me up last night," Happy recalled, "Like we haven't been doing business for twenty fucking years."

"He knows," she sounded so defeated.

"He knows?" Happy asked incredulously. "About?"

"Our son," she whimpered.

"Fuck," he growled. "What's this mean?"

Roxy shrugged. "He didn't say. I think he's just gonna pretend like he doesn't know? He said he loves Mateo."

"And SAMCRO?"

"Who gives a shit?" She snapped.

"I give a shit," he stood up and glared at her.

"It doesn't change anything," she admitted. "I worried about it too but shit, Hap. Just once put something above the club even if just for a second."

Happy rolled his eyes and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jeans.

"Uh. No."

"Huh?" He looked up at her and remembered the party was his last chance to indulge. "Aw shit."

"Listen, just cause Marcus knows doesn't mean I want Mateo to know," she told him. "I know you don't want to be a dad, that's great, just keep it that way. It's taken a while for Coco to open up to me, let alone Mateo, I don't need anything shaking up the relationship they're building."

"I don't want a kid."

Despite what she said, it hurt to hear the biological father of her son say he wanted nothing to do with their child.

Swallowing hard, Roxy nodded. "Alright. Good."

"Chibs and Tig know," Happy shrugged. "Had to tell em' before we came down. Can't be gone for six months without a reason."

"Shit," she grumbled. "I didn't want people to know, not just Mateo, I didn't want anyone to know."

"Sorry," he said knowing he should not because he was actually sorry for anything.

"Mommy?" Mateo stumbled sleepily into the kitchen. "I want chocolate waffles!"

Roxy cracked a smile. "Of course baby."

"Hey man," Happy said, watching the kid climbed up to the table. "Have fun at your party?"

"Yeah," he smiled excitedly.

"You should go," Roxy said abruptly.

"Go? I live here."

"You have your own kitchen," she reminded him. "A whole nice apartment over the garage, in-law suite," she crossed her arms. "Go home, Happy."


	29. Chapter 29

6 Weeks Later*

"Coco!"

Mateo bounded in through the back door screaming for his stepfather with blood running from his nose and big fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Chiquito," Coco said in surprise with a hint of concern in his voice. Taking a knee, he grabbed Mateo by the shoulders to look him over for serious injury before comforting him. "What happened, mijo?"

"I," he sniffled, "Fell," he sobbed "Into," he sobbed again "The patio wall," he finally finished with a loud wail.

"It's all right," he said softly. "You're good, you're alright."

Mateo cried into Coco's shoulder, blood, tears, and snot smearing on his kutte and only began to compose himself when Happy strolled in. Although they were getting used to all living together Mateo was still reticent.

"Come on, lemme clean you up before your mom gets home."

Scooping him up, Coco sat Mateo on the kitchen island and grabbed the first aid kit. He cleaned the crusty blood, careful not to hurt the boy, and gently checked for any real damage. Happy watched quietly as he headed toward the laundry room.

"Can you breathe through your nose?" Coco asked.

Mateo sniffed and nodded. "Yeah."

"Still got all them teeth?" Coco asked as he dabbled the scrapes and cuts with antibacterial ointment.

Running his tongue along his teeth, Mateo nodded and smiled joyfully. "Yeah!"

"You're all good then, hombrecito," Coco said excitedly. Placing a tiny band aid over the worst of the cuts Coco then gave Mateo another hug. "Feel better?"

"Can I have a cookie?" He asked with a sly smile.

"Yeah," Coco laughed as he opened the cookie jar. "Now get outta here."

The door slammed again and suddenly Happy was lingering in the doorway between the kitchen and laundry room.

"He okay?"

Coco tensed but he nodded. "Kid's fine. He's a tough little fucker like his mom."

"Yeah, she's tough," Hap chuckled.

"Not funny," Coco spat. "They shouldn't have to be." Coco's guilt and regret over his own daughter and pain he's caused her and others was intensifying his opinion.

"That ain't on me," he said defensively.

"Part of it is," Coco snapped back.

Roxy walked in, a bunch of grocery bags up her arms, and growled as she slammed them down on the counter.

"Could you put your dicks away and help me?"

Both men turned to see her glaring at them. Coco was about to apologize when she shook her head. "No more lo siento," Roxy told him with exasperation. "Just go get the goddamn bags."

Coco stared at her before huffing out of the house rather than fight with her in front of Happy. He refused to give Happy the satisfaction.

"I'm fucking with your family," Happy grumbled.

"Don't give yourself that much credit," she scoffed.

"So your relationship is shit anyway?"

"No." She said firmly. "We're good. He doesn't like you here but that's not hurting my relationship with him."

Happy nodded. "Good."

"Yep," she said slamming the refrigerator door.

"He called Mateo 'mijo,' Rox," he huffed.

"And?" Roxy continued to put groceries away with her back to Happy.

"I get you don't want him to know and Coco is playing Daddy, that's fine," he said, not realizing Coco was listening. "But I'm here, I see him everyday and he's scared of me."

"You can be scary," she told him flatly.

"I want to know him. I want to spend time with him."

"No."

"Why?"

"It's not fair," she sighed, turning to face him. "Besides you don't really want to know him, you're feeling guilty and you're jealous of Coco. That's not a reason to get to know a child."

"You didn't give me a chance," he said angrily.

Roxy, feeling defensive, put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "If I told you back then how do you think you would have reacted? Honestly."

"I woulda been pissed but I woulda got over it," he admitted. "I don't hate kids. I didn't want them but shit happens."

"Refer to the conception, pregnancy and birth of my son as shit happens again and I will rip your goddamn balls off," she warned him with fire in her eyes.

"That's not what I meant," Happy grumbled.

"This shit is over," Coco snapped, storming into the kitchen. "Keep your distance from that kid. He's not your son. You're not a part of this family."

"He's not your son either," Happy snapped back. "And this doesn't have shit to do with you, it's me and Roxy."

"There's no you and Roxy," Coco sneered.

"I'm right here!" She shouted. "Happy, shut up. Coco, please give us a second."

Coco glared at her, enraged and, even more than that, hurt but he left the room anyway with every intention of eavesdropping.

"What?" Happy snapped at her.

"I know you killed that woman, the one in the butcher shop nine years ago." She looked at him, focusing on his expression, but it didn't change. "That was EZ and Angel's mom. EZ knows it was you but he's waiting until after gen surgeries to do whatever it is he's going to do. If you leave us alone, if you stop pushing and prodding and starting shit I will...help you navigate that."

"That's why he fucking looks at me like that," Happy complained.

"That's your reaction? She scoffed, annoyed by his lack of concern. She focused on that whole trying not to panic about her dueling promises to both Happy and EZ.

Happy shrugged, hiding his true feelings as usual.

"Whatever. We have a deal?"

Shaking his head, Happy took a risk and didn't agree. "I can deal with that. I wanna hang out with the kid. I'm doing all this shit I should get to spend some time with him."

"I fucking hate you," she snapped.

"All I ever fucking did was love you," he spat. "Give me something here, Rox."

Instead of kissing him or showing some sort of shock as he hoped and expected, Roxy glared at him with her jaw half open.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Is this some kind of manipulation to get the upper hand or some sympathy?"

Happy shook his head. "Putting it all out on the table."

"Don't."

"Fine." He growled. "I'm going to San Bernardino for a few days, see my brothers."

Roxy rolled her eyes and nodded. "Please don't fuck up your clean streak."

"I can handle it," he assured her before leaving the kitchen.

Roxy sighed, closing her eyes for a long koment, and when she opened them again Coco was in Happy's place. "What now?"

"What was that shit?" He hissed. "Dude needs boundaries. This was a bad idea, Rox."

Her chin quivered. "But it's for Teo."

"He's taking advantage," Coco warned her. "He doesn't love you and he doesn't care about Mateo. He sees what you have and it's fucking with him so he wants to fuck it up for you."

"No," she shook her head. "I know what you mean but I know Happy. He's stubborn and fucked yo but I don't think he's some psycho who is trying to mess with me. I think he's conflicted."

"Don't let it rub off," Coco warned her. "I'm your family, Mateo, me and Letti are your family. The MC, my MC not the Sons, they love you. We are your family." He was pleading with her not to help Happy even if she didn't know it.

Roxy nodded. "I know. It's just confusing."

"No it's not," he said, moving closer to her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she sniffled. Changing the subject, she gestured back to the yard. "How is he?"

Coco grimaced, "Little busted up but he's good. Came crying for me," he said proudly.

"My guys are finally bonding," she beamed.

"He's a good kid. Love him like he's my own."

"I don't think I've ever been more aattracted to you than I am right now," she smirked.

"Show me."

Coco licked his lips as he grabbed her, tossing her over his shoulder, and snuck into the laundry room.


	30. Chapter 30

Happy returned to the Teller Cruz household but he didn't return alone. With him were Tig and Ratboy, much to Roxy's dismay. It had been a few days but Coco's words about picking sides still rang in her head and she had been dealing with the guilt ever since.

"Hey," she said, shellshocked, as Tig greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. "What's this?"

"Just a visit," Ratboy said, giving her a half-hug. "Sorry I missed the party."

Roxy gave him a thin-lipped smile. "Well, none of you guys were really invited but, sure."

"Where's your old man?" Happy asked casually.

"He's on a run," she remarked, pointing to the calendar on the fridge with that day and the day after marked with an X. "Stopping for a brief meeting too, won't be home for a day or two."

"He totally knew," Letti said with distaste as she announced her presence with a click of her tongue.

"No Chibs?" Roxy asked suspiciously. "If this was planned I'm surprised he didn't come down too."

"He'll be here tomorrow," Rat replied with a chuckle.

"You want me to call my dad?" Letti asked, a suspicious eye on the men taking over her first ever stable and happy home.

"No," Roxy said quietly. "He's working, it'll just get in his head." They were silent as Letti nodded before grabbing a drink from the fridge and heading out of the room again. "She's not legal," Roxy said to Ratboy, "So don't even think about it."

Ratboy laughed. "I wasn't looking!"

Looking at him she rolled her eyes. "We can't put you guys up. We don't have the room."

"We're staying at the SAMDINO clubhouse," Tig told her. "We're good."

"Okay, well, it was good to see you," she shrugged.

"Come on, Rox," Happy huffed. "Hang out."

"I can't," she sighed.

"Where's Mateo?" Tig asked.

"Spending the day with his grandparents," she clicked her tongue, "Marcus and Diana."

"See?" Tig clapped his hands. "Perfect."

"Not perfect," she grumbled. "Just a few hours, okay?"

"That's more than enough," Happy said with a small smile. "Just like old times."

At first, it wasn't like old times. It was awkward and tense because Roxy refused to even try to enjoy their visit. After about an hour though she loosened up, stories about her parents from long before she was born seemed to do the trick.

"She did that?" Roxy cackled. "My mom really did that shit? Who actually toilet papers houses?"

"That's what us old assholes did when we were kids," Tig laughed. "She wasn't always big bad Gemma," Tig said nostalgically.

Roxy's laughter died a bit before shaking off the sadness. "Remember when Jax and Ope ran down those assholes who robbed Hanna's?"

"What?" Happy leaned in eagerly. "How did I never hear this?"

"You missed a lot, brother," Tig said of Happy's Nomad and Tacoma years.

"Wasn't that what got them prospecting?"

"Opie already was," Tig told her, "That earned Jax his kutte though," Tig explained. "He wasn't handed it, he really worked for that shit."

"Sometimes I forget the person he was when we were younger," she sighed. "Look at us," she scoffed, "Even me, we're all so hard now."

"We lost a lot," Tig said somberly. "That's why this shit is good for us, you left and you had your reasons but you're still our Roxy Teller."

"Stop," her voice cracked. "I was so angry when I left, there was so much shit in my head and my fucking heart, I hated everything that had to do with the Reaper."

Happy nodded. "We know."

"That why you staged this bullshit?" She asked, dabbing her eyes to keep the tears from falling.

Rat and Tig nodded.

"Well it worked," she laughed sadly.

"It was pretty clear at Mateo's party you didn't look at us like family," Tig explained. "We were the enemy."

"I know," she admitted. "It's kind of hard, juggling loyalty."

"No juggling," Happy said. "You're SAMCRO blood."

"You're really gonna try that?" She asked, becoming more defensive. "Blood doesn't make us family."

"It's a start," Tig shrugged. "Look, we need a," he was silent as Roxy interrupted forcefully.

"You need a Gemma or some poor little excuse to rally around because morale is low with the new guys?"

"No," Rat said quickly.

"We want a Teller around, we want you back. Mateo isn't Esai's, we all know that now," Tig told her. "We think it's time you come home."

"I am home," she swallowed hard. "Why are you doing this?"

"You're not meant to be with the Mayans," Happy told her. "And, I think I wanna be a dad"

Roxy laughed. "No."

"Come on," Happy grumbled.

"Hell. No. You aren't fit to be a dad, you don't want Mateo you just don't like Coco and, even though the Sons and Mayans are on good terms, you don't like them. That's a personal problem," she added sharply. "And you're going to have to deal with it personally."

"Teo is my kid, I'm giving him a goddamn organ I think that means something."

Jumping to her feet, Roxy glared at Happy. "Where did this come from?"

"We lost a lot," he repeated Tig's words. "Piney, Ope, Bobby, Gemma, Jax," Happy became noticeably upset. "Even the ones we put down ourselves, we lost brothers. That last year, that changed shit."

"I have a life," she shook her head. "My life is here."

"In this shit ass town?" Rat scoffed. "Charming ain't much but it's better than Santo Padre."

"At least we have a Starbucks kinda close by," she rolled her eyes. "I'll think about...visiting or something. I.. I don't know."

"Come on boys," Happy said, standing up. He moved incredibly close, too close, to Roxy and kissed her cheek. "That's all I'm askin' just think about it."


	31. Chapter31

It wasn't that Roxy wanted to think about everything she, Happy, Tig, and Rat discussed but she didn't have a choice. The words kept rattling around in her brain until she started to truly wonder if they were meant to stick together after what happened. While Coco was gone, Letti saw how the words stuck with Roxy and how often the Sons were coming by to reminisce. The second Coco pulled up to the house, Letti was at the door ready to tell him everything.

"What's up?" He asked, seeing the look on her face and knowing there was trouble. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she grumbled. "It's Roxy though, those assholes from up north have been here, they're fucking with her head."

"Where are they?" He hissed.

Letti grabbed his arm to keep him from running off before getting the full story. "Roxy's in the shower, I think they're staying at some other clubhouse."

"SAMDINO?"

"Yeah," she said, recognizing the name. "I think that's it."

Coco gestured for her to move out of the doorway and further into the house so they could talk.

"What were they saying?"

"It reminds me of the girls in school," Letti described, "Trying to win some other girl's loyalty. Be my best friend, not hers," Letti rolled her eyes dramatically. "Happy keeps pushing about Mateo too," she added almost as an afterthought. He seemed less malicious than other topics.

Now there was a flash of jealousy in Coco's eyes. He nodded, having seen little hints that made this less surprising the longer he thought about it. "I'll handle it."

"What are you gonna do?" She asked.

"I'm just gonna talk to Rox," he said calmly. "It's alright, I'm not gonna pop off."

Letti nodded although there was still a look of concern on her face. "Okay."

"Where's Teo?"

"In bed," she replied.

Coco hadn't even realized how late it was. He nodded and finally took his kutte off, kicked his shoes into the corner and tossed his keys in the basket. "You did the right thing," he told her. "They're playing with her head, takin' advantage," Coco explained.

Letti nodded. "Think she'll be mad?"

Coco knew Roxy would be mad at first but she'd understand, eventually. "Nah, she'll be fine," he said to Letti, hoping he wasn't lying. Giving Letti a kiss on the head, Coco climbed the stairs to wait for Roxy in their bedroom.

When she walked in, Roxy immediately dropped her towel and went to hug him but Coco stepped back. "I'm dirty as fuck," he complained. "Give me five minutes," he said, already stripping his clothing off on his way into the bathroom.

His shower was less than five minutes and their reunion romp was more but still within an hour od arriving home, he was in bed, ready to fall asleep.

"Everything go smoothly?"

"Yeah," he stifled a yawn. He was tired. He wanted nothing more than to sleep but he knew they needed to have an unpleasant conversation sooner rather than later. "We gotta talk."

"That's never good," she said, glancing over at him. "Are you leaving me? Did something happen? If I have to storm out I wanna get dressed before we talk so I can just leave and not do that awkward hopping around trying to put my clothes on."

"No," he said, slightly angry she'd even think it. "I know Happy's been here, I know what they're trying to do, Rox."

"What?"

"Letti told me they were here, talking to you about the past, family shit," Coco huffed. "That's not real."

"I grew up with them around," she said shamefully. "They're my family."

"He took advantage of you, even Jax knew it, that's why he did what he did," Coco told her. Although he had no proof it was always his assumption that Jax had more motivating the lie and forced break up than what he told Roxy.

Roxy shook her head. "We were just talking, remembering my brother and my mom," her voice cracked. "It was healthy, after so much loss I left and maybe I should have stayed longer, we could have healed as a family."

"No," Coco said forcefully. "Marcus had you stay with us for a reason, he knew you'd be safe, that Bish would look out for you. That shit up north is toxic as fuck."

Her chin trembled as she tried to find a way to explain Charming and SAMCRO, they were much different than many clubs or charters, clearly, she could see that by comparing them to the Mayans and even SAMDINO.

"I can't explain it," she shrugged.

"I know what Happy did," Coco finally admitted.

She looked at him with intense eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"He killed Angel's mom, shot her in the fucking head," Coco said with purposeful cruelty.

"How do you," she stopped and shook her head. "You don't know that shit."

"I do," he hissed. "I heard you two talking, I heard you promise you'd get him out from under EZ after the surgery."

Roxy's face fell. "I was bluffing."

"Were you? Cause you looked pretty fucking serious to me," Coco was angry now. "She was an old lady, he didn't even rob the shop, why would he do that shit?"

"I...I don't know," she admitted. "He won't get into with me."

"Cause he's a heartless fucking coward," Coco seethed. "You see me killin' old ladies? Angel? Creep? Riz?"

Shamefully, Roxy shook her head. "No."

"Cause we don't do that pussy ass shit," he snapped. "We don't fuck our friend's baby sisters, either. Happy is a bad guy, Rox, and if I gotta say it, you know he's bad."

Roxy covered her mouth in a desperate attempt to keep the heart-wrenching sob from escaping but it did no good. She cried for a minute or two before Coco finally moved to comfort her. Once she was finally in his arms, Roxy almost collapsed against him as she sobbed.

"I'm so confused," she admitted.

"I know," he said softly, "And I'm not gonna make you do anything but just remember who came here and fucked with your head, used your loss to try to win some pissing contest. Happy doesn't want to be a dad or a husband, he just doesn't want you here with me."

"You said husband," she sniffled.

Coco chuckled. "We'll end up there. Shit, Rox, look at us. I'm as fucked as they come but I'm playing house, takin' on Mateo like he's my blood, if you could get me here I gotta go there for you."

"You don't have to marry me," Roxy said. "I'm perfectly comfortable without the paperwork."

"Whatever you want," he whispered, kissing her temple. "But Rox, I can't let you help him. They lost their mom, EZ did 8 eight fucking years because of what Happy did. You know what's gotta happen."

Roxy stepped away from him. "And what are you going to tell the Sons? Killing another member is an act of war, Coco, you know that."

"Then we won't tell em' anything," Coco said darkly. "But I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm going to EZ, I'm gonna help him settle this."

There were no words forming in her mind. Roxy knew Coco was right but she couldn't find it in herself to give him her blessing. "I'm just an old lady right?"

Coco nodded quietly.

"Then you men do what you have to do," she said, her eyes on the floor.

"Please, mi Reina, tell me I can trust you, tell me you won't go to him with this," Coco begged.

Although Coco said he wasn't going to make her choose, he was right then and there asking her to betray the Reaper, her blood, and side with him. Roxy thought on it for a second and her brother's and mother's words rang in her head. "Blood doesn't make you family, loyalty does."

"You can trust me," she whispered, "I won't say anything."


	32. Chapter 32

A Few Days Later*

Roxy didn't think twice when she saw multiple bikes in the driveway. The silence as she walked in was troubling though, so she hollered out for Coco or Letti.

"We're out back," Coco shouted back. When Roxy stepped into the yard, seeing the Reyes brothers with stern expressions she knew it was bad. Coco looked at Roxy, then his daughter across the yard. "Take Mateo inside."

"Oh," Roxy frowned. "That bad?"

"Sit," Coco gestured to the last open seat.

"Just say it," she told him. "Blurt it out."

"Angel knows about Happy," EZ said sadly.

Roxy hung her head. "I'm sorry, Angel. I...I didn't know back then, I..."

"You don't gotta do that," he said darkly. "I know."

She nodded timidly. "You're gonna kill him?"

All three men nodded.

"I don't want to know how and when," she said staunchly. "Just do what you have to do."

"We need your help," Coco told her.

"Guys," she whimpered. "I know what he did, I get it b-but he's Happy. I've known him all my life. He...he helped create Mateo. I don't think I can do that," Roxy stammered.

"Rox," Angel leaned forward on the table, "We can't do this with a shot to the head. There'd never be an agreement between clubs and if we did it without going to SAMCRO first it would be an act of war."

"Jesus Christ," she groaned. "You're gonna get me and yourselves killed. You know that, right?"

"You're the one we're counting on to keep us alive," Coco whispered into her ear. "Please?"

"You doing this for them or because you don't like him?" Roxy asked, not bothering to whisper.

"I couldn't kill him over shit with you," he admitted," Even though I want to but the shit he did to my brothers," he snarled, "I'm gonna help kill him for that."

"Just keep him close. His guard is too high now," Angel told her.

"After the surgery, there's gonna be some complications," Coco said vaguely.

"What kind of complications?" Roxy asked hesitantly.

EZ shook his head. "We're working on that."

"Okay?" Coco asked her, laying his hand over hers. "Good?"

Roxy looked at EZ and Angel, remembering how furious she was with she found out Jax killed Gemma and slowly nodded.

"I'm not good with this but I'll help," she whispered.

Storming back into the house she saw Letti helping Mateo get a snack. She looked at Roxy with doleful eyes.

"I'm sorry, Roxy," she huffed. "I know telling my dad what I heard over the weekend was what pushed this."

"Don't apologize," Roxy told her, "You did the right thing. Don't keep shit from your dad, ever." Roxy grabbed Letti and hugged her, the uncommon show of affection proving to Letti just how sincere and serious Roxy was in that moment.

The Night Before Surgery*

As the months passed, the surgery growing closer, Roxy made it a point to be kinder to Happy and allow him time with Mateo. It was always when Coco was out and she monitored them closely but her guilt was too strong not to allow him those little things. The night before the surgery, after Mateo was asleep in his hospital bed across the hall from Happy, Roxy snuck away.

"Knock knock," she said, poking her head in Happy's room.

"Hey," he said sleepily. "Come in."

"You nervous?" She asked with a tiny smirk.

Happy shrugged, "Nah. What's up?"

"Just saying hi," Roxy said, "Mateo just fell asleep."

"How is he?" Happy asked with sincerity.

"He's okay," she said sadly. "He's nervous but he's seen so many doctors and gotten so many pricks and tests lately that he's sadly used to it."

"I know Coco doesn't know you've been letting me hang out with him," Happy said. "Even just the little shit would piss him off?"

Roxy shook her head. "Doesn't matter if its walks to the park or a week away, it's you, Hap," she explained. "After you both recover and you head home, that's the end of it. It has to be."

"Why?" He asked her forcefully.

"Because Coco is Mateo's father," Roxy said coolly. "Maybe not by blood but Mateo loves him and I know Coco loves Mateo. The Mayans are the only men he's really had in his life and his relationship with Coco aside, trying to indoctrinate him into SAMCRO or whatever is petty, confusing for him and it's bullshit Hap."

"How is it bullshit? He's blood, he should know us, he should hear about Jax and JT and even Gemma," Happy had a fire lit under him. "He's not a Mayan, Rox."

"Yeah, I know, he's just a kid and I can promise you he'll never be a Son," she snapped. "This is my home, the club is my family and Mateo won't be taken as some symbol or whatever weird fucking shit you guys are thinking."

"He's a Teller," Happy said angrily. "He should know."

"He won't be for long," she said.

"What?"

Roxy rolled her eyes. "He wasn't gonna be a Lowman anyway."

"Are you changing his name?" Happy asked, looking highly offended.

"Given our lives, it's safer for Teo if Coco is a legal guardian," she explained. "And in case of any future legal issues, we might legally get married just so the cops can't force me to testify or some shit if something nasty goes down."

"Married?" He drew his head back.

"It's not," she shook her head. "We're not even telling anyone, it's not like we want to run off and get hitched. It's a fucking piece of paper for legal reasons, to protect us and Mateo and Leticia."

"I thought," he shook his head.

"You thought I'd go back north with you because we took Mateo to the playground a few times?"

"No," he grumbled. "I just didn't think you'd go all in with these assholes."

Roxy's eyes went wide. "The Mayans and SOA are allies. What the fuck?"

"That's business," he told her.

"Please don't," she sniffled. "I just wanted to see how you are and make sure you're not having second thoughts."

"I wouldn't do that to him," Happy said, showing Roxy a glimmer of sincerity and love. "How soon do you want me out?"

"Uh," she swallowed hard. "You have to recover and all, follow up appointments, there's no rush."

"Doesn't feel that way," he growled. "I think I should recover at home."

"Please don't," she gripped his hand. "Stay. Please."

Her desperation was obvious and Happy took it as a sign that Roxy was less than secure in her earlier arguments.

"Alright. I'll stay," he said, reaching up to stroke her cheek. "As long as you want."

Roxy nodded, wearing a sad smile before she got up and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. She'd gotten too worked up before, accidentally pushing him away and almost ruining the plan. It was easily fixed though, luckily, and Roxy was ready to run out of there.

"I'll see you in the morning," she whispered before slipping out of the rook again. Rich locked eyes with Coco who was standing outside Mateo's door with EZ. "We're good."

"Good," Coco nodded.

"Thanks, Rox," EZ said quietly.

Roxy shook her head. "Don't."

Roxy's mood had only gotten worse overnight. After a long goodbye, she watched as they wheeled Mateo away, only crying once he was out of sight.

That was when the wait began. Doctors said the surgery could be anywhere from 4 to 6 hours so Roxy settled in for a painfully long morning. She watched Coco and EZ across the hall talking quietly. It seemed morbid and insensitive for them to be discussing their plans but Roxy knew Coco needed the distraction but for her, nothing could distract her focus on worrying about her son.

Roxy already knew the plans. She obsessed over them for months, since Coco reached out to EZ not long after he laid out his ultimatum for her. She remembered it as if it were just yesterday.

"You okay?" Coco asked her, breaking away from EZ and sitting next to her.

"No," she whinnied. "You?"

"I can hide it," he shrugged. "He'll be okay."

"I know I just hate waiting," she huffed. "I want my son back, Johnny," Roxy whispered. "I want our lives back."

"We never had a chance," he grumbled. "Shit kept hitting us, wave after wave, but I think this is it, Rox. Two fuck up ex-cons," Coco laughed, "We finally got shit right."

"That feels like a lifetime ago," she sighed ruefully.

"Not that long," he said softly into her ear. "Let's go smoke, take a walk around the block," Coco suggested.

"No," she said emphatically. "I can't leave, not for that long."

"You got hours," Coco warned her. "Sitting here is only gonna make it worse. 10 minutes isn't that long, we'll be right back."

Roxy looked at him, and despite being just about to tip into an emotional breakdown, she relaxed slightly. "Okay," she huffed. "I'm just running outside for some air," Roxy told the nurse. "I'll be right back."

She nodded and smiled, easing Roxy's anxieties over leaving even more. Coco took her hand and led her down to the very same bench they shared the night Mateo was diagnosed and they discussed involving Happy.

"Holy shit, it's Saul again," Roxy laughed. "That's gotta be a good sign, huh?"

"I hope," he chuckled. "I heard you last night, you told him about the legal shit. I thought we weren't telling anyone?"

"Yeah, I don't know why," she huffed. "It doesn't even matter but I just, I guess I just wanted him to know that I've moved on. That I don't just not want them but I want this," Roxy squeezed his hand.

"Honestly I'm glad you did," he admitted sheepishly. "Made me believe you want it."

"I want you," she sighed. "And I want this to be over."

Brushing her bangs out of her eyes, Coco kissed her, soft and sweet, moving his hand to her cheek.

"It's all gonna be over soon," he promised. "Then I'm gonna give you everything, Rox. I swear."


	33. Chapter33

Not wanting to be gone for too long, Coco and Roxy went back up to the surgical floor. Within the hour Chibs and Tig arrived at the hospital. Roxy didn't know they were coming and the sight of them coming down the hall was startling.

"Hey," she said with a weak smile. "I didn't know you were coming."

"Of course," Tig said quickly. "How's it going?"

"Good, I guess," she shrugged. "We haven't gotten any updates yet."

"How long have they been in?" Chibs asked her.

Coco could feed the slight tension between the four of them as Roxy continued to give them what little information she had. He wondered if that was because of the surgery in general or something Happy may have told them.

"Aye," Chibs said, snapping in Coco's face.

"What?" He asked, realizing they were talking to him.

"You'll be here?" Tig asked. "You're staying?"

Coco nodded. "I'm not leaving."

"Good, we don't like havin' him so far from home like this," Chibs explained.

"He's not going to be attacked," Roxy rolled her eyes. "Christ, Chibs. Is that all you worry about?"

"I worry about my club," he told her. "You used to, you know the risks."

Roxy remembered how eager they were to move injured or sick Sons to Saint Thomas. Home turf was indeed safer but Roxy couldn't help being annoyed by it.

"Yeah," she rolled her eyes, "I know."

"Miss Teller?" A nurse called from the nurses' station. "We have an update," she said, waving her over.

Roxy jogged over to the desk then followed the nurse into an office. There was a doctor there, in scrubs, sitting on the edge of the desk. "Is Mateo okay?"

"Your son is doing well," he told her. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, we tried everything we could, but Mr. Lowman died in surgery."

"What?" She stepped back, bumping into a small table but barely noticed she was so surprised by the news. "Happy died?"

"Yes, he did," the doctor said with a mournful look on his face. "Not long after we removed the kidney he bled out, we tried to control it but his blood pressure dropped too low. I'm very sorry."

"Oh," she leaned against the wall, feeling her stomach churn and her chest tighten, and nodded. "Okay."

"Is there anyone here with you? Anyone I can bring in?"

"My boyfriend," she muttered, "He's in the hall."

"I know him," the nurse said, slipping away to get Coco.

Walking into the tiny room to find Roxy so distraught, Coco immediately thought Mateo had died. He dropped to his knees in front of her, lifting her head from between her legs, and looked her in the eyes.

"What happened?"

"Happy's dead," she sobbed.

"Take as long as you need," the doctor told them, "We'll let you know when Mateo is out of surgery."

The doctor and the nurse walked out, shutting the door behind them, and left Coco and Roxy alone. She cried, hard painful sobs, while Coco comforted her. Finally, she wiped her face and looked at him, now sitting in the chair beside her.

"It's alright, it's over," he said softly.

"I can't believe it worked," she said, still in shock. "I didn't think it would really work," she admitted.

"This was the plan," he reminded her. "Remember?"

Roxy nodded. "No, I know, I just," she whimpered, "I didn't think it would work, Coco."

"That's why those doctors tell people not to take that shit," he said, his hand on her knee. "What did you think was gonna happen when you crushed that shit into his food?"

"I don't know," she snapped. "They're just fucking herbs," Roxy said defensively.

"Herbs that thin your blood," Coco told her. "You agreed to this, Rox. We planned it. It worked."

"And now I'm a fucking murderer. I murdered Happy while he was saving Mateo's life."

"Alright," Coco sighed. "Don't go around saying that shit so loud."

"I just, I didn't think it would actually work," she whimpered.

"Shh," he hushed her. "We don't talk about anymore, Rox. It was an act of God," he reminded her.

Roxy shook her head. "It was me, Coco, it was us," she whimpered. "He trusted me," Roxy's voice cracked.

Coco leaned in and kissed her forehead. "You'll work it out, in your own time. It's about Mateo now."

"What do we tell him?"

"Uncle Happy went home," Coco said ominously.

Abruptly, Roxy stood up and headed for the door. "I have to tell them."

"Angel and E?"

Roxy grit her teeth. "Chibs and Tig."

Coco nodded. "You gonna let them handle everything?"

"I can't bury anyone else, Johnny," she sniffled. "Before the surgery the hospital made him do a living will and next of kin shit. It's me but I can't, Chibs will have to do it."

"They'll probably wanna anyway," Coco shrugged.

"Yeah, probably," she agreed weakly.

All they needed to see was Roxy's expression to know something happened to Happy. If it was Mateo, Chibs and Tig knew she'd be inconsolable, and although she was clearly devastated, Roxy was composed.

"What happened?" Tig asked urgently, meeting her halfway down the hall and gripping her shoulders.

"Hap bled out," she said with a sob. "He's, he's dead."

"No," Tig groaned.

Chibs and Tig turned to one another and hugged, sobbing openly over the loss of yet another brother. Roxy couldn't watch, she felt bile creeping up in her throat that sent her racing into the bathroom. She was grateful that at least the sound of her vomiting was enough to drown out their crying.

"What did I do?" She asked, wiping vomit from her chin.

6 Hours Prior*

Seeing Roxy head in to sit with Mateo, Coco, Angel, and EZ slipped into Happy's room. He was given a mild sedative, just to calm him before surgery he was told, but the nurse was acting under Mayan orders, not the doctor's. They weren't going to let him die without making sure he knew who and why.

"I know what you did," Angel growled.

"I saw you that night," EZ added. "You kill my mom. I did 8 years because of you."

"What is this?" Happy asked, feeling loopy, his eyes blinking rapidly trying to focus. "Where's Rox?"

"You don't get to say her name anymore," Coco said, "You don't get to see her ever again."

A sudden realization hit Happy. "Is that kid even fucking sick?"

"He is sick," Coco said, "Least you did one thing for him before you died."

"SAMCRO's gonna come for you," Happy growled, his eyes becoming even heavier now.

Angel and Coco chuckled while EZ leaned close to Happy, shaking his head. "No, they're not. You're never going to wake up. They'll never know."

"Less suffering than you deserve," Angel growled. "Don't worry, Coco's gonna take real good care of Rox and Teo."

"You thought you convinced her? You didn't convince shit. She played you," Coco grinned, his words rolling off his tongue confidently.

"You lose, motherfucker," EZ whispered into Happy's ear. As he upped the drip, just like the nurse advised, EZ blessed himself and said a quick prayer to his mother, then slipped out with the others.


	34. Chapter34

"Miss Teller, would you like to say goodbye?"

Roxy blinked, her brain paralyzed for a moment before she was able to speak. "Uh, like, see him?"

The doctor nodded. "You don't have to, it's just an opportunity we like to give loved ones."

"Uh, yeah, sure," she nodded. Roxy didn't want to. The idea made her sweaty and shaky but deep down she needed to punish herself.

The doctor led her to the elevators, mercifully he didn't try for small talk as they went down to the first floor. It was a long corridor, like something out of a horror movie, until they reached the morgue.

"You ready?" He asked her softly.

Roxy nodded, afraid if she spoke she'd vomit, and walked through the swinging double doors. The room was cold, it smelled of what she assumed was formaldehyde, and there was Happy, on a slab, dead.

"Fuck," she hissed, turning away. "I can't. I can't."

Her eyes flicked up, focusing on the doctor as he stood outside the door, in front of the large window.

"Don't look guilty," she whispered to herself. Roxy straightened herself and walked over to the table. "Of course I look guilty," she said to him, "Because I am fucking guilty." Inching down the white sheet, Roxy gasped, seeing his gray skin and blue lips. "I'm sorry," she began to sob. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it back, Hap. I'm so sorry."

"Aye," Chibs' voice cut through her crying, "Ya should be."

Roxy gasped, stumbling back to the floor, and shook her head. "I didn't do anything."

"We know what ya did," he said, walking closer to her, "And you know what that means."

"Chibs," she whimpered, kicking away from him across the cold tile floor. "It's me."

"You, Coco, Angel, EZ," he rattled off the names of the guilty parties, "It was all of you."

"You don't understand," she stammered. "Please."

"Don't worry, we'll make sure Mateo knows the truth," he smirked. "He'll know his whore mother lied about his father, keep him from knowing his son, and she killed him."

Roxy glanced over at the window, hoping the doctor was still close by, but saw him standing with Tig. "Hey," she screamed. "Help me!"

Tig handed the doctor a roll of cash and waved at her before pushing open the doors. "The brothers are dead," he announced with a smile.

"Angel and EZ?" She inhaled sharply. "No. Please. I'm sorry. I'll do anything."

"For them," Chibs said, pulling his gun. "You did it for them."

Roxy opened her mouth to plead with them one last time but Chibs trigger finger was too quick. Hearing the gun she screwed her eyes shut and screamed only to open them and see Coco and Mateo staring at her with wide eyes.

"Rox, you okay?" Coco asked her, his hand on her shoulder.

"I," she faltered. "I was sleeping?"

"Mommy did you have a nightmare?" Mateo asked with a frown.

"Yeah buddy," she whimpered. "I did."

"Rox," Coco said sternly. "What's wrong?"

Shaking her head, Roxy turned her attention to Mateo. "How are you feeling buddy?"

"Great!" He said chipperly.

"I think the burger I got him for dinner helped," Coco chuckled.

Roxy laughed. "Yeah, probably. How long was I sleeping?"

"Over 12 hours," Coco said. "After you told them what happened you crashed out."

"Shit," she sighed. "Okay."

"We gotta talk?"

She shook her head but was unconvincing. "No. No. I'm good."

"Hey, hombrecito," Coco looked at Mateo, "I'm gonna take your mom to get some coffee. You good?"

Mateo nodded and reached for the tablet Coco had brought for him. "I'm good!"

Taking her hand, Coco led Roxy into the hallway and immediately wrapped his arms around her. "What freaked you out?"

"I had a dream," she whispered. "They knew. Chibs and Tig, they knew what we did. They killed Angel and EZ, they said they were going to kill you," she began to cry. "It was so real. I heard the gun. I was waiting for the fucking bullet then I saw you and Teo."

"Alright," he hushed her. "No one knows. No one's gonna hurt you or me or Angel and EZ."

Roxy stepped back and nodded. "I need some air and a fucking cigarette."

"Yeah," he nodded, handing her his pack, "Go ahead. Take your time."

Coco watched as she walked down the hall, he could see the difference in each step she took and it shook him. Coco wondered if he'd pushed her to do something she'd never be able to come back from.

4 Months Before Happy's Death*

"Come on," Roxy grunted, grinding the last bit of the pills a little finer so they'd dissolve quickly.

Some mornings she lost count, forgetting which she'd already crushed and which she hadn't, but it didn't really matter. The long list all did the same thing, one or two mixups weren't going to change anything. She looked at the bottles, mumbling the names to herself, before deciding she probably got them all.

Garlic.

Turmeric.

Ginger.

Saint John's wort.

Ginkgo biloba.

Feverfew.

Ginseng.

There were others she added as well, ones with stronger flavors like fish oil, depending on the beverage or meal.

Sprinkling the mixture into Happy's travel mug, Roxy then fixed it exactly the way he always drank it. She started prepping it when she heard him moving around, his loud steps and less than gentle drawer closing gave her a heads up. It became a ritual for both of them. Happy appeared out of his little apartment and within seconds had his morning coffee in his hands.

"Thank you," he said sleepily.

Roxy never said you're welcome, she always just smiled and nodded. "Plans today?"

"After I take the kid out I was gonna head up north for a few days."

"Charming?" She asked.

Happy nodded, "Yep." He noticed her face light up a bit. "Wanna come?"

"Oh no," she laughed. "I don't want to leave Mateo."

"Bring him," Happy suggested.

Roxy hesitated, "I don't know."

"Coco?"

Exhaling loudly, Roxy shook her head. "It's complicated."

"It's not."

"I think you're getting too attached," she told him.

"I thought this was fine," he placed his coffee down, "I thought you wanted me to get to know the kid."

"No, I know," she stalled, "I just don't want to be too far from his doctors."

He stepped closer to her. "Is it me getting too attached or the distance?"

Roxy swallowed hard. "Little bit of both."

"Alright," he huffed about to leave the kitchen.

"Your coffee," she reminded him.

Happy stopped, turned and grabbed the coffee, then nodded in her direction. "Thanks."

Roxy watched him leave, breathing a sigh of relief once he was out of sight, before turning back to the counter. She brushed a bit of pill dust into the sink and ran the water wondering if the plan would really work. They were just supplements, all over the counter, that she picked them up at a pharmacy out of town. How could they kill someone? Roxy knew how, they thinned your blood and promoted bleeding, and she knew deep down what she was doing. Pushing the pill bottles all the way to the back of the cabinet, even further than before, she put it out of her mind.

"They're just fucking herbs. It's not even going to work."

—

The Day After Surgery*

Roxy sat beside Mateo's bed, her hand on his arm, and waited for him to open his eyes. He had, for a minute or two, but soon after fell back to sleep. She felt awful about the day before, when she woke up screaming, and had hoped to make it up to him by being her normal motherly self, even if it was all faked.

"He up?" Coco asked quietly as he slipped back into the room.

She just shook her head.

"Good. We gotta talk. They just left," Coco told her. "It's gonna be more than you want, mami."

"What's the plan?" She whispered.

"A fucking procession," Coco spat. "The mortuary is gonna drive him back north, local charters in front and behind, they asked if the Mayans wanted to ride along and show some respect."

Roxy hung her head. "And?"

"Can't say no," he told her regretfully.

"So you're escorting the man I killed back home as a show of respect?" Roxy scoffed. "This is ridiculous."

Coco grimaced, knowing the worst news was yet to come. "Rox, they want Teo there."

"No," she snapped. "He doesn't understand death. He doesn't know Happy is his bio dad."

"He does know," Coco swallowed hard.

"What?" Her head shot up.

"Happy told Teo last week," Coco admitted. "Kid came to me, he was crying, he was confused," Coco went on. "He said he wanted me to be his dad."

"How could you not tell me?" She growled.

"Because I knew you'd spin out, baby," he said softly. "I talked to him. I told him," Coco hesitated, "I told him Happy lied, I told him I can be his dad but what Happy said had to be a secret because it would make you sad."

Roxy's jaw dropped.

"I'm sorry," Coco said, his voice wavering.

She slapped him, with all the strength she could gather, before dropping back down into her seat. "That was not your fucking call," she growled.

"I know, I know I shoulda told you but look at you, you been a mess for weeks over this shit," Coco explained. "I didn't want one more thing to make you cry, make you question what we were doing."

"I questioned it every fucking day and I still do!"

Coco nodded. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not," she grumbled. "I guess you got to have your moment then, you got to tell him off, tell him Mateo is your son? He's not. He's MY son and you two are fighting over him like neanderthals."

"I didn't start shit," Coco said, offended she'd think he would jeopardize the surgery and the plan. "I told him it wasn't his job to share that shit and I told him he needed to back off. He said Mateo was his and that was the way it was gonna be after the surgery."

Roxy paused, not expecting Coco to have been able to control himself, but swallowed her pride and immediately apologized. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"It's cool," he chuckled. "Can kinda see why you'd think it," he shrugged. "I'm not trying to be a dick, Rox, I swear, but he doesn't want Mateo, he wants to win, he's possessive as fuck."

"He doesn't want anything now," she said ominously.

"Nah, guess not," Coco nodded. "You tell Mateo?"

Roxy shook her head. "Haven't had a chance to talk to him really. He's either sleeping or I'm having a full blown panic attack."

"We get over the funeral and shit and we can try to move on," he told her.

"I'm sorry about what I said," she sighed. "He is your son, you've done so much for him, Johnny. More than any man he's ever known."

"Didn't give him a kidney," he said sadly with a small shrug.

"Not for lack of trying," she reminded him. "I don't deserve you."

"Shit, Roxy." Coco hated the compliments, he hated so much of himself he couldn't imagine Roxy's words being true. "Just cause you're crazy as fuck don't mean I'm some goddamn saint."

She laughed a little. "God, if you only knew my mother."

"I'm good," he said sternly. "I don't need that. We're fine with our mess. Don't need more."

"I love you," she whispered, burying her face in his chest.

"I love you too," he sighed, resting his chin on the top of her head. "We're gonna get through Rox. Me, you and our kids."


	35. Chapter35

"You ready?" Coco asked as he leaned against the doorframe to look into their bedroom. He found Roxy on the edge of the bed, her eyes glazed over as she stared at the closet door. Dressed in all black, her hair pulled back plainly and wearing some light makeup he could see she was physically ready but that's not what he meant by that question.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "They here?"

Coco just nodded.

"I hate this."

"12 more hours and it's done," he promised her. "Then he's in the ground, we come home and SAMCRO stays north."

"It's not that easy," she whimpered.

"I'm gonna make it as easy as I can," he finally stepped into the bedroom, "But right now we gotta go."

Roxy stood up and walked over to Coco, taking his hand, when she heard Chibs' voice from Mateo's room. She looked at Coco for a moment, confused, before hurrying to see what was going on.

"What's this?" She asked, seeing Chibs crouched down speaking to Mateo as he played.

"Just seeing how he's feeling," Chibs said without looking up at her.

"He's still tired and sore," she told him. "He needs to rest."

"He isn't coming?" Chibs asked her, finally meeting her stare.

"No," Roxy swallowed hard. "He hardly understands and he's only a few days out of surgery, Filip. It's not appropriate."

"That was his father," Chibs said in a low voice as he stood. "The boy should be there."

"It's not what's best for Mateo," Roxy said forcefully.

"You ask him?" Chibs asked.

"Hey," Coco growled. "Back off, old man."

Chibs sneered and took a threatening step toward Coco. "Twice your age and I'll still kick your teeth in."

"This is another reason he's not going," Roxy said, shoving Chibs back. "And don't threaten my family."

"Everything alright?" Bishop interrupted from the hall.

"Aye," Chibs gave them a clearly fake smile, "It's peachy."

"Good," Bishop nodded. "We should get going."

Roxy stood in place, waiting for Chibs to exit first, when she saw the patch on Mateo's bookshelf. "What the fuck is that?" She asked, snatching it and the reaper ring behind it. "Unholy Ones?" She gasped. "Are you fucking kidding me? Did you give my son this shit?" With every word her voice rose louder.

"All Hap wanted was to know his boy."

Roxy scoffed. "Bull. Shit."

"Not in front of the kid," Coco told them both forcefully.

"Go," she snapped at Chibs. "Have your death march."

Chibs glared at her and, knowing he was probably acting out of grief and not thinking straight, left the room.

"Mommy?" Mateo said sheepishly.

"Yes honey?" She whimpered.

Mateo looked at Bishop and Coco before looking at Roxy again. "Are you leaving?"

"Just for a few hours," she said, getting down on her knees beside him. "We have to say goodbye."

"Because Happy went to Heaven?"

Roxy wanted to laugh bitterly but she just nodded. "Yeah."

"I want you to stay."

"Baby," she sighed. "I know, I just," she paused. "I have to go. I'll be back as soon as I can okay?"

Mateo pouted, "Okay."

"Letti's gonna be here with you."

"Okay."

"I love you," Roxy said, kissing his cheek. "I'll see you soon."

—

Standing back from the burial site, leaning against a tree, Roxy smoked and watched as the Sons said their final goodbyes to the Tacoma Killer himself, Happy Lowman.

The ride to Charming was long, the wake at the clubhouse was tense and extremely painful, but the cemetery just made her numb. Roxy was tired of burying people.

"Chibs told me about earlier," Tig said, casually making his way over to her, "The shit with Mateo. He's not thinking right. We're sick of losing brothers."

"It's no excuse," she said darkly.

"Take it easy," he said. "You're hurting too."

Roxy shook her head. "I don't feel shit anymore. This is," she hesitated. "I've mourned so much I'm immune to it. I just need to stop it from happening again."

"Stop it?" He asked her sharply. "This wasn't like Jax and Bobby and the rest."

"I...I know," she said quickly. "No one could have stopped this but Happy is a rare one. You know that."

"Yeah," he said, still looking at her questionably.

"Tig, listen," Roxy was desperate to change the subject. "When this is over, it's over. I have no ties to SAMCRO. Mateo is Coco's son, he's going to adopt him and that's it."

"You think that's good for the kid?"

"I think it's the least confusing thing for him, and much less painful." Roxy stubbed the cigarette out on the tree but didn't drop the butt on the grass. "I never wanted to do a lot of the shit I did. Lying about paternity and moving down to Santo Padre being the biggest ones but I want to be there now and I'm sick of doing what everyone else tells me. Especially when they're wearing a kutte, Son or Mayan."

Tig nodded. "I'm sorry darlin'."

"For what?" She asked ruefully.

"The mess," he said simply. "If you ever need anything, Rox."

"I know where I can turn," she nodded, noticing Coco walking over toward them. "Right here."

Tig watched as Coco put his arm around Roxy and pulled her against him. "You okay?" Coco asked quietly.

"I want to go home," she said to him.

"You got it."

Coco and Tig shook hands but Roxy just gave him a smile. "Be careful, Tiggy," she said. "You always made me nervous."

"You going then?" Chibs asked as the crowd slowly began to dissipate.

"We are," Roxy replied firmly.

"Don't lie to that boy about his father," Chibs warned her. "Kerrianne was stolen from me but at least she knows the truth. It'll come back, it always does," he said, gesturing to the field of headstones.

"Good luck, Prez," she said ominously. "I wish Redwood the best."

Coco and Roxy made their way across the grass toward Bishop, Alvarez, Taza, Riz and Tranq who had come as Mayan representatives. It was over, just as Coco promised, but her stomach was churning as if deep down she knew Chibs was right.

"You still think it's shady?" Tig asked Chibs quietly.

"Aye," he nodded somberly. "Something ain't right."

"What are we gonna do?"

Chibs shook his head. "Can't do shite. You wanna kill Roxy Teller over a bad feeling?"

Tig shook his head.

"Aye."

"Come on, today isn't about her, it's about Hap."

"What happened to the Tellers?" Chibs asked sadly.

"They're where they should be," Tig huffed. "Where Jax wanted them all."

"But they're not home."

Tig knew Chibs was mourning, missing Kerrianne, Jax, Bobby and the rest of his fallen brothers so he kept logic aside. The two patriarchal members hugged before walking by Happy one last time.

From across the field Coco kissed Roxy sweetly. "You okay?"

"I just want to go home," she sighed. "And I never want to be reminded of Charming again."

—

THE END! - Thank you for your time, votes and comments! Xoxo Xoxo

I'm going to be starting a sequel in the next week. Check out my Instagram for a little teaser later today, the link is in my bio!


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